Interesting times, interesting ways
by Archaon
Summary: While Ranma struggles to deal with a life fraught with peril, Nerima has other designs. Enter Taro’s ‘pals’, rampant magics, forbidden techniques, body swaps, time travel and sentient foodstuff, just the 'usual'. [continuation,RaAkn and more]
1. Vanilla Nerima

Disclaimer: I do not own any unoriginal characters, places, thoughts or situations that might appear in this chapter, any subsequent ones or in the story as a whole. I will make no promises concerning the length, update schedule or completion of this story. I will accept praise and/or constructive criticism as the highest of honors while I will ignore flames from people too stupid to be referred as such. I will try to the best of my ability to produce correct grammar and spelling, even though English is not my native language. I will post warnings in case of a lime scene while any potential lemon scenes will be truncated and posted on another site. The production of this story will not hinder the production of any unfinished stories I am expected to continue. If you are still reading this, you have no life and thus have earned my respect.

Hi everybody! While I have some experience with fanfiction writing, this is the first time I try in the Ranma category. This starts directly after Saffron and the failed wedding in the manga continuity, although anything that happened in the anime and does not clash with the manga will be considered as canon. Some things WILL be different, but not too much. While you can expect a lot of action in this story, the 'general' genre is there to indicate every other considerable type you can think of, humor and romance being quite prominent. In time, this might turn into a resolve story, but, as always, I make no promises. To make things easier, I'm placing this story in OUR time instead of a decade ago. This means the technology level will be appropriate. Also, the attack names can be in either English or romanji, depending on my whims. Remember that feedback can only make this story better.

* * *

Chapter 1: Vanilla Nerima

_True value can be observed in the face of loss._

* * *

Ranma Saotome, age 17, genus martial artist and paragon of confidence...

"Paragon, my foot" muttered said buxom redhead dejectedly. After extracting herself from one of the many craters littering the grounds of the Tendo estate, she had leaped on the roof, not even bothering to return to her male form. Sitting hunched and absentminded in what remained of her tuxedo, she felt anything **but** confident.

"I thought that after Jusendo everything would stop being so... so difficult," she added under her breath, wishing she could just break down and cry. She found she was too weary for such a release, as weary as the time she had been trying to copy Ryouga's Shi Shi Hokoudan. The life and death situation she had found herself in while fighting Saffron had left a huge impression on her identity. Having to actually kill the Phoenix godling and seeing Akane at death's doorstep had forced her to reevaluate her views of the universe.

"Are you done skulking or should I bring you a blanket" inquired a neutral voice from behind her as a kettle filled with hot water rattled next to her. Ranma tilted her head to the side, marveling at how preoccupied she had been not to notice Akane coming. The taller girl, having changed to normal clothes, sat next to her, staring at the evening sky.

Ranma let a deep sigh escape, lifting the kettle and dousing herself slowly. "Thanks" he muttered, falling back to the same depressed stance.

Akane turned to fully regard her fiancé. She hesitated at first, emotions and words ricocheting in her mind. "Look, it was only one of our father's stupid scams, not the end of the world" she said at length. "Not **all** of it was your fault either," she added somberly, biting back anger.

The pigtailed martial artist finally responded, turning and regarding his fiancée annoyed. "Hey, what exactly was my fault, anyway, you..." he started, stopping suddenly in mid-sentence as his face went blank. "Why exactly are you trying to cheer **me** up when it was also **your** wedding?" he asked critically.

Akane's eyes went wide at the comment and she responded as usual, hiding behind anger. "Why exactly should I have a reason to try and cheer you up, you... you stupid, insensitive..." she snapped, stopping as she choked a sob. Turning away, she also sighed at the futility of petty insults. "I was stupid to hope things will simply change after China" she whispered, mostly to herself.

Ranma's keen hearing caught the comment, though, and his eyes went wide. _She was thinking the same thing!_ He screamed in his mind. Akane made a weak attempt to leave, but stopped as Ranma's hand cupped her own. "Are we that hopeless, then?" he asked quietly, though the question was rhetoric for both of them.

Akane was stunned by his gesture, half her mind yelling to her to just mallet him to orbit while the other half demanded to just shut up and kiss him. "It's not fair" she responded weakly. "We **must **be able to do better."

Ranma leaned back, one hand under his head, the other still holding his fiancée. She instinctively leaned back too, gazing at the black sky above them. Even with Nerima's lights outshining the stars, they were content to stare at nothingness, each too afraid to speak, too afraid to let the other know. They both gasped as the world changed around them. Power cuts were not unheard of in Tokyo and this particular one allowed them a true glimpse to the night sky, unhindered by electricity.

"Beautiful" whispered Akane, not ready for such a sudden sight.

"I saw something better today" responded Ranma, voicing his thoughts without really intending to. An image of Akane in her wedding dress came to his mind.

"Really? What was it?" she inquired, snapping out of her reverie for a moment. Ranma said nothing, simply tightening his hold on her hand.

"Damn it! Now I have to write it again!" came Nabiki's voice from below, as the power cut caused her computer to abruptly shut down. The two teens above ignored the cry, as much oblivious to it as to each other's smiles.

* * *

_Saffron laughed cruelly, his flames resonating accordingly. "Her sacrifice was in vain, landling. But fear not for I am merciful. I shall allow you to join the girl shortly." _

_Ranma bellowed in pain and denial as Kinjakan, the fire key, passed through his defenses, stabbing him painfully. He tried to level Gekkaja, the ice key, to deliver a strike of his own, but his strength failed him. As the magic flames consumed him, he tried to thrash away in vain._

The sound of water and a surprised growl forced Ranma to open his eyes, though it took him a second to take in the scene. He regarded the very wet Panda before him, the bucket of spilled water on its head and his foot, shoved surprisingly deep in its mouth.

"I know it is entirely too early for your circus act, Pop. What do you think you are doing?" he demanded, yawning all the while.

Genma spat his son's foot out, making a face unbecoming of a Panda. 'You were having a nightmare, boy' read the sign he produced. 'I was trying to wake you up but you were thrashing a bit too much.'

Ranma shook his head. "Whatever" he murmured, sighing as Genma instantly fell asleep. "I might as well get up. There's no way I'm gonna sleep after that" he added, noting his mother's futon was empty.

Minutes later, he entered the kitchen, not surprised to find his mother chatting merrily with Kasumi.

"...and then Dr. Tofu said that Akane was the strongest little girl he had ever seen" quipped the eldest Tendo daughter as she tasted the food.

"Oh my" followed Nodoka, giggling while trying to help. "Oh, good morning Ranma" she exclaimed, promptly rising and embracing her son. "I could get used to hugging my son every morning" she added smiling.

"Good morning, Mom, Kasumi. I see you two are getting along" he responded, feeling both uncomfortable and serene in his mother's grasp.

"Hi Ranma. You are really early today" greeted Kasumi. "Breakfast won't be ready for another half hour, so you have time to train till then."

"Actually, I want to talk to you, son" declared Nodoka, leading him to the living room and prompting him to sit. After spending some time admiring him, she talked again. "Are you holding alright, Ranma?" she asked worriedly. "I hope yesterday's fiasco won't ruin your relationship with your fiancée"

"Can't ruin what ain't there" muttered the pig-tailed martial artist. "Our 'relationship' hasn't been exactly smooth."

"So you don't love her?" inquired Nodoka sharply.

Ranma frowned. "Why should I love that uncute, violent tomboy" he spat, but turned away when his eyes met his mother's gaze.

Nodoka rose a brow. "I can tell that's not true, son. Why are you so... afraid? That's not very manly" she retaliated, regretting her words as soon as they left her mouth.

A shadow of anger marred Ranma's features but he failed to keep it up long enough. He let a breath he didn't know he was holding. "It's just... we have a lot of issues, mom. Akane lost her mother too soon and then had to beat back a legion of losers that wanted to date her every morning. She is just **so** angry all the time" he sighed. "And I'm no better, either. Every time I try to say something nice, it comes out as an insult. Sometimes I can't believe what I let to come out of my mouth. Mr. Tendo and Pops interfere all the time, usually just when things start looking good. You ain't much better, either, mom" he added with a cold glare.

Nodoka gasped, then bit her lip in shame. "I'm sorry, son. I have a lot of things I need to make amends for. I...I just hope I can someday earn your trust."

Ranma actually smiled. "S'okay mom. I'm glad you are here" he replied sighing. "Then I also have the mess with the other fiancées. My curse and my tendency to attract all kinds of lunatics are not exactly helpful."

Nodoka embraced her son again. "Be strong Ranma. Know that I'm here for you when you need me." She absentmindedly wiped a tear off her eye. "I have to help Kasumi now, but one of these days I want you to tell me everything that has happened to you since you left." Her face hardened, her hand twitching close the Saotome family blade. "I need to decide some things about your father..."

Ranma gulped but nodded.

* * *

Breakfast was surprisingly quiet after Soun commented on last day's wedding attempt. Happosai was thankfully absent while Nodoka's presence meant that Genma tried to steal food a mere five times. As a result, Akane and Ranma left home early, without the need to break another track record.

Akane turned to regard her fiancé, cocking a brow. "How came you are not fence-walking today?" she asked, trying to sound indifferent. In truth, she welcomed the proximity.

"Just thinking, I guess. I'm a bit too distracted for balance training today" he replied. He hesitated a bit then added. "You know they will be waiting for us, don't you?"

"I guess so," she said pensively. "Can you really feel them?"

Ranma smiled a bit. "Not sure who they are yet, but I can pick their auras at the edge of my senses. It will get rough today."

Akane frowned at that. "I don't want you baby-sitting me" she snapped. "I'm a martial artist too. I can take most of them."

Ranma sighed. "Look, people like the Kunos are well within you league, but the rest..."

"I can take Ukyo" she retaliated.

Ranma shook his head. "Probably, but I know she won't be on us today. I bet she'll be too ashamed after yesterday's stunt." Ranma's features darkened. "But you will stay away from Shampoo. You can't take her."

Akane scowled, her temper rising. "Can too!" she yelled indignantly.

Ranma sighed again, went to say something, bit his tongue twice then tried again. "Shampoo won't try to kill you. Well, at least not today. But she **will** go for crippling hits and I know you are not ready for her. Not yet" he added quickly.

Akane seemed to deflate. "I still think I can take the Bimbo..." she grumbled.

Ranma went to say something involving Shampoo, Akane and cooking, but he was saved from the mallet by the bell. A bicycle bell. "Damn, she's early" he cursed, grabbing Akane's hand and dashing forward.

"Airen runs to wrong place, Shampoo over here" echoed a voice behind them.

"Well, we might be able to lose her today" chuckled Ranma, while Akane was too busy breathing to respond. She did turn to regard him, though, when she felt a shiver passing through his body.

The laughter that followed from ahead was adequate explanation indeed. "O-ho-ho-ho. Ranma-sama, even though these Tendo peasants managed to hide you away, I knew you will return to me. Please stand aside while I dispose of the trash" she started, throwing a ball towards the couple.

"You want trash, you'll get trash" snarled Akane, grabbing a nearby trashcan and catapulting it towards the deranged gymnast. With a fluid motion, Ranma snatched its cap, intercepting and deflecting the ball towards Shampoo. Detonating in midair, it released a smoke cloud that caused the incoming Amazon to cough and spatter violently.

Kodachi produced her razor hoop, letting it fly and severing the trash container in half. She deflected most of the flying junk with two of her clubs, except for a spoiled tuna tin, which landed directly on her face and stunned her with overpowering odor.

Akane leaped high, snatching one the deflected glass bottles and turning around. With the skill of an Olympic sphere thrower, she tossed the bottle at Shampoo, grinning when it shattered against her front tire, flattening it. The Amazon never slowed, forcing her bike off the ground while still gagging. She somersaulted in the air twice, aiming for the younger Tendo's head.

"Switch!" commanded Ranma and she complied, facing Kodachi just in time to deflect a ribbon with her mallet. Ranma held the trashcan lid upwards, intercepting the Amazon's front wheel and sending her flying towards their other adversary. Two girls and a bicycle clattered to the ground like a pile of potatoes just before the couple leaped above them.

"They are extremely persistent today" commented Akane as they turned into an alley. She felt Ranma's grip tightening. "There are more, right?" she guessed.

Her answer came quite indirectly. "Sweet-o" a voice declared as the most ancient lecher of Nerima appeared on the far side of the alley, carrying a sack three times his size and closely followed by a stampeding female horde.

"Saotome, you hurt Shampoo, prepare to die" came a rather laconic voice from behind them as Ranma tilted his head to the left, avoiding a razor-edged yo-yo and a couple of metal grappling claws. Mousse's weapons failed to connect, missing Happosai by centimeters.

"You would hurt a defenseless old man, duck boy? I'll teach you respect. HAPPO DAIKARIN!" he bellowed, conjuring his firecrackers out of thin air and launching a handful towards Mousse.

Ranma froze for a moment, not sure of what to do, but forced his act together the next second as one of the walls close to them exploded, courtesy of Shampoo, who seemed positively pissed. "Shampoo kill too too angry kitchen destroyer and claim Airen!" The pig-tailed boy cursed loudly as Mousse produced a SWAT shield, deflecting Happosai's bombs. The firecrackers landed just next to Akane. Ranma's frown changed to a smile. "You never fail, Pig-boy" he muttered, clasping Akane with one hand and leaping upwards.

The tarmac below them exploded as Ryouga broke though it with a familiar 'Where am I' battle cry. Ranma landed momentarily on the lost boy's head, snatching his umbrella and jumping again. "I know that foot!" roared Ryouga. "Ranma prepare to..." He never finished the sentence as a very stunned Amazon smashed on him at the same time the old grandmaster's bombs blew.

Ranma, holding his fiancée tightly, opened the reinforced umbrella downwards, riding on the explosion that propelled them upwards. "Hi Ranma, Akane-chan. Sorry, no time" laughed Happosai, using his student's head to step above his blast. The old pervert reached the ground just as Ryouga and Shampoo weathered the female legion's passage.

"You could have warned me, you know" complained Akane as they glided next to a green UFO and a crying voodoo doll.

Ranma waited until they reached the apex of the blast, then flipped the umbrella upwards to smoothen their fall. "Sorry tomboy. Mousse almost got me there" he apologized.

Akane harrumphed. "Yeah right, you stupid jerk. I saw you were smiling while dodging." She intended to add some more choice words, but her face paled when she glanced downwards. "Tentacles" she screeched, using a hand to pat her school skirt down.

Ranma frowned, shutting the umbrella and turning it downwards. "Hi Taro!" he sang as he pogo-sticked on the flying minotaur's head. "Bye Taro!" he added as the beast lost his concentration along with his altitude. And landed on a very injured Ryouga.

"The light! The pretty light!" babbled the lost boy after the hit, while Taro ignored everyone in favor of a fleeing Happosai.

"Ryouga, stay away from the light!" yelled Akane from above as Ranma used the umbrella to cut their momentum once more. They reached the ground shortly and promptly resumed running. "Can we make it in time?" she asked frantically.

Ranma sighed. "It depends on you, Akane. I want you to stay close and try your best to suppress your aura" he ordered, diving in another alley and concentrating.

Akane's eyes went wide as she saw him vanishing in thin air. "Ranma? Are you here? Is that the Umisenken?" she asked, a bit frightened.

"Keep it down, tomboy and concentrate. I can't hide you if you don't want to be hidden" he hissed as low as possible. Akane nodded, then struggled to suppress a gasp as her hands vanished too, followed by her whole body. In the next ten seconds they watched concealed as Happosai, Taro, Shampoo, Mousse, Kodachi and two Yakuza lorries sped right next to them.

The couple waited a bit more, then resumed running. "We only have a few seconds left" indicated Akane, quite peeved. "I hope Kuno got bored and left."

Ranma chuckled, secretly marveling at how fast Akane ran beside him. _In a few months I won't have to hold back when running. _"Not likely. I hope he will be there. I'll show you how to use chi to jump and I want you to watch closely."

Before Akane could respond with either complain or mallet, Ranma grabbed her from the waist, leaping in the air above Furinkan High's gates. "Foul Saotome. Prepare thyself and submit to..." Tatewaki never finished his pompous speech as his adversary used him as a stepping stone to jump directly to his and Akane's class.

"How much longer are you going to hold me" snapped Akane as soon as they cleared the window, delivering a playful punch on her fiancé's arm. A marginally playful punch.

"What was that for, you macho chick!" he blurted, rubbing the sore spot and dodging another punch. "You were too busy purring to complain before" he added blowing a raspberry in her face.

"Come back and die, you pervert" shrieked Akane as her ears reddened.

"HAPPO NO-YEN COIN RETURN" bellowed a female voice from outside the classroom and a couple of students broke though the door, followed by a filled water bucket.

"This will be a long day" grumbled Ranma as she tried to simultaneously dry her drenched clothes while avoiding a huge wooden mallet. The fact that both she and Akane were smiling made her all giddy. Perhaps a few things did change after Jusendo...

* * *

And thus ends the first chapter. Consider it a tease for the things that might follow and fear not. You have seen nothing yet. 


	2. Suspicion and a guest

Chapter 2: Suspicion and a guest

_Even the longest of journeys starts with a single step._

* * *

She carefully tilted her head, peeking around the corner and trying to remain undetected. Not a soul in sight, she sighed in relief and opened the first door she encountered, careful to make sure she was alone. She hastily reached one of the classroom's windows and looked downwards, soon leaping outside. Her short black-blue hair whisked as she fell and she touched the ground roughly, almost stumbling.

"This won't do" she muttered, angry with herself. "How can I even compare with the jerk when I can hardly clear a couple of floors..." Akane shook her head, regaining her wits, then inconspicuously sped away, reaching one of the trees at the far end of the school grounds and sitting under its shade. After she and Ranma had had to endure a virtual hailstorm of written messages during the first three periods, they had quietly decided to split and make a run for it as soon as the bell ringed. Ranma had casually jumped down from the third floor, attracting everybody's attention with an artistic somersault and vanishing from sight before he could even connect with the ground. Akane's escape had been less graceful but still successful. Sighing, she retrieved her lunch box from her bag, absentmindedly eating its contents.

"Glad you could make it, although that jump needs a bit more work." The voice came from just beside her, startling her so badly she almost choked on a riceball. An invisible hand patted her firmly and repeatedly on the back.

"Don't do that!" she exclaimed as soon as she regained her breathing capabilities, glaring at where she guessed Ranma's face was. She concentrated for a second, valiantly trying to see through the Umisenken and failing miserably. Her hand reached forward, encountering resistance just where she expected to. She slowly traced Ranma's shoulder, then neck, still trying to pierce the illusion. In the end she sighed frustrated.

"Don't worry, Akane. I have yet to find a technique to counter the Umisenken" he responded. Akane's eye twitched as a bento appeared from thin air and a shrimp levitated rapidly, vanishing behind invisible lips. "Pops used the technique to escape from martial artist mobs. It's **supposed** to be tricky to see through," he added as a fish cake followed. "Not even cameras help."

His fiancée frowned. "Quit it, it's creepy watching you eat like this!" she complained. "Nobody can see us here so come out already."

Ranma shrugged, dropping the illusion and startling her again, even though she expected it. "I haven't mastered it yet, you know. I need to be able to keep it up longer to make it really useful." He regarded the girl beside him thoughtfully. "I might even show you how it's done," he added mischievously, smirking at her expression that fluctuated from surprise to hopefulness to fake indifference.

"Wa- you.. Really?" she stuttered, trying to sound mildly interested and not like a babbling schoolgirl.

Her fiancé opened his mouth, stopped then closed it again. "We'll see," he added after some thought. "You need to learn other things before." Noticing her annoyance, he was quick to speak again. "I could only learn it so fast because of the Soul of Ice. It's not that simple!" He sighed when Akane calmed down.

The next minutes were spent in silence, although they both started fidgeting after a while.

"Say-" "Ranma-" they both tried at the same time, blushing a bit as they realized their blunder. "You first, I'd screw up anyway" muttered Ranma, turning to fully face her.

Akane gulped, then nodded. "I noticed you were really cheerful this morning" she started tentatively. "Not that it's a bad thing, you know" she amended, fidgeting a bit more. "It's just that you usually complain every time we land in the thick of Nerima like that."

Ranma looked away, reflecting on the morning's violent events. A small smile came to his face. "Well, it's not like... it doesn't seem much more than training anymore, you know. Not that it's easy to run around like that, but after Saffron... I don't know how much you remember from.." he answered, hesitating as his face darkened. He flinched as Akane's hand came to his shoulder.

"Everything" she whispered, as if afraid to say it loud. "I wasn't even... It was like watching the battle from a different angle. I-I could see my shrunken body from above when I momentarily regained control. It was like I could read what you were thinking" she continued hesitantly.

Ranma's smile widened. "Then you beat him as much as I did. You saved us both, tomboy."

Akane's face flushed a bit. "When you restored my body, I couldn't return to it at all. I had to follow your voice and... I'm just happy we are alive, you know..."

Ranma nodded. "I know what you mean, I feel the same... happy to be alive, I mean, don't think I mean anything else..." he blabbered. "That explains why your mallet never send me flying today," he added chuckling, stopping cold as he realized what he had said.

Instead of amending his reasoning, Akane turned away. "I **was** angry with you, don't think I wasn't, because I was..." she muttered as she remembered what he had told her. Ranma completely missed her ears that were red and almost steaming.

They remained silent for a while, then Akane spoke again. "Do you really think I'm a tomboy?" she asked quietly, leaning back on the tree's trunk.

"Of course you are!" promptly came the answer, causing her to stiffen. Without facing her, Ranma leaned back, tilting his head so it barely brushed her shoulder. "You are a bona fide tomboy and I wouldn't like it any other way" he added earnestly, feeling a bit lightheaded.

Akane relaxed visibly, exhaling audibly. For some reason, the day around her seemed brighter. They would have started dozing under the tree, silly smiles plastered on both faces, if not for the bell herding the students back to their classrooms.

* * *

Cologne frowned again, something she had been doing a lot since her son-in-law returned from China. Her hands moved independently and in Amaguriken speed, preparing food with the practice of ages. Her mind, however, was nowhere near the job at hand.

Her Great-great-granddaughter and potential heir would unerringly serve any customers with uncanny ease and finesse, offering the occasional smile and odd compliment that would make them return soon. As usual. Even her body language was saturated with promises and innuendoes, compensating for her somewhat poor grasp of the native, vulgar language. The Joketsuzoku elder actually smiled at that. The girl was a natural in clouding the minds of males, almost as good as she had been in her youth. _Too bad she has yet to show whether she is elder material._ Not that Shampoo was stupid.

"She is just a fool when she lets her impulses guide her" she muttered. Cologne knew that not many people could master the Soul of Ice. While she was happy her Son-in-law did so in less than a day, she perceived the fact her Granddaughter was unable to reign her emotions to do the same as a personal insult. She hoped that, if anything else, their prolonged stay away from the village would help Shampoo develop some perspective.

Then she saw it again. Or rather saw an absence she had not placed immediately. Shampoo seemed her normal, bubbly self, but Cologne knew how to see through masks. The decline of her usually skippy gait that had somehow migrated to Mousse spoke volumes.

The elder Amazon turned to regard her pet master of hidden weapons. Both he and Shampoo had returned in late morning with a generous share of minor wounds, burns and footprints. That was the norm for Nerima, a splendid training ground for Cologne's sensibilities, almost rivaling Jusenkyo in her eyes. And there was Mousse, washing plates fervently, blissfully whistling a battle-song normally reserved for imminent victories. Cologne had respect for the blind fool and much more than what would allow herself to show. The elder would never keep somebody so close without respecting him or her. Men with enough resolve to learn the Art were few in her Village, an unfortunate result of natural selection and social discrimination.

Cologne's frown deepened. While she knew the value of tradition all to well, she also knew it was not infallible. Heck, she could see some of her own past errors embedded in said tradition. "The council is a pack of fattened cronies" she whispered with annoyance. While that was not true per se – any elder could give an honest to goodness challenge to any conceivable opponent – the truth was there: They were way too passive. Cologne was somewhat of a council extremist, always traveling around the world and trying to keep her homeland up to date with the rest of the world. Which was like trying to force honey through a cotton blanket: messy, stupid and extremely grueling.

Cologne shook her head to clear her thoughts. Normally she would have been delighted to allow Mousse to wed her Granddaughter. His weak eyesight could be fixed, another benefit of the modern world. She would have told him about it, even cover the cost, if not for Ranma. The elder smiled, a rare smile reserved for rare moments. She had been absent when Shampoo lost to Ranma's female form. After Shampoo returned alone and unblooded, Cologne had started respecting the young martial artist. When she first saw him, she had to control herself not to knock him unconscious and haul him away. To her trained eyes, potential was oozing from every pore of his skin. His confidence and genius in battle along with his unwavering resolve made him invaluable. Mousse did not need a moral boost yet, she decided. Something he had apparently received anyway, she mused.

Neither Shampoo nor Mousse had talked about Jusendo, but Cologne was no fool. Between their silence and the tight-lip treatment she had received when she tried to contact her village council, she could say something important had happened. Something that simply blew away the creaked minds back home, filled Mousse with hope and Shampoo with despair. Ranma Saotome had prevailed against impossible odds yet again, she knew. Cologne chuckled. She already had a place in her heart for the boy, a place, she marveled, that eclipsed even Shampoo's. If the kiss of marriage failed, there were other, subtler ways to make an ally out of the powerful - and dangerous – youth and his curse made things that much easier. Cologne was a Grandmother but no fool.

Her eyes went wide a second after she concluded her thoughts, a passing feeling of dread marring her features. With a lightning-fast move, she removed an extra naruto from the bowl of Ramen she had been preparing. "Old age might just be catching up with me" she sighed humorlessly...

* * *

Contrary to common belief, Nabiki Tendo was not a person devoid of conscience. The hardships after her mother's death and her father's mental collapse had forced her to reevaluate her notions of right and wrong though. She had learned that while valor is valuable and honor priceless, lack of financial support would soon reduce both of them to cinders. She regretted a large portion of her actions but would sooner repeat them than let her family down. If she had to be ruthless, so be it. 

The mercenary of Furinkan high plopped heavily on one of the more private tables of the ice cream parlor, ordering her favorite treat and diving back in her thoughts while waiting for this day's mysterious client. This time she had reached a new low, she decided. While she expected trouble when she handed out invitations for her baby sister's wedding to every rich lunatic she could think of, she sorely underestimated the chaos swirling around Ranma Saotome. The Kuno siblings where a given and she knew that they would have invited themselves anyway. Ukyo's intervention had been unexpected but otherwise manageable. A few explosions would have never stopped a ceremony in Nerima. The Nannichuan barrel, though, had been the straw that broke the camel's back.

Nabiki had initially thought she could just blame her father for hiding the Guide's gift to Ranma and igniting that sequence of events, but had promptly dismissed that notion. Applying the standards she expected from her associates on herself, she knew she was to blame for never learning that vital tidbit of information.

"Oh gods Akane. I really messed up this time" she muttered, deploying her smile mask to accept a bowl of parfait, then sighing again. She had already found a way to turn yesterday's mess into monetary profit by extorting large amounts of money from all offending parties. In fact, even after repairing the collateral damage and subtracting the wedding's expenses, the net profit was formidable. It made her feel quite empty inside, but, as usual, she would grind her teeth and take it like a Tendo. She only had to think of a way to get even with Ranma and her sister now.

Suddenly, her instincts declared immediate danger. While the middle Tendo daughter was nowhere near the martial artist Ranma or even her younger sister were, she had been taught the basics of the anything-goes school. Even though she would rarely practice the Art anymore, she had managed to remain fit and any street thugs would find their hands full against her. As soon as she saw the cause of her alarm, though, she knew fighting was not an option for her.

"What can I do for you, Taro?" she asked politely, hiding behind a mask of smug superiority.

The cursed martial artist sat opposite to her and regarded the mercenary girl intently. "You are brave to face me that casually, I'll give you that" he stated at length. "Don't worry, I mean no harm to either you or the Tendo family. I'm here to do business."

Nabiki smirked. "You are after the old gnome again." It was not a question. "My sources say you have been running after him all around Nerima."

Taro raised a brow, visibly impressed. "I was right to come to you, I see" he offered.

Nabiki glared at him. "It's not easy to ignore flying minotaurs and panty raid victims hunting the same target at the same time. The question is what can **I** do for you. Keeping track of Happosai is something I wouldn't inflict on my worst enemy, if you must know."

Taro nodded knowingly. "I will be staying in Nerima for a while, what with Happosai being here and things being bleak back home and I need a place to stay. I figured I'd try at one place the old pervert tends to return to."

Nabiki had to admit she did not expect that. "I'm willing to pay for my stay, of course," added the Chinese fighter.

The middle Tendo took some time to massage her temples, weighting the offer. "Let me get this straight" she started after a while. "You want me to let you stay in my house, where Ranma and sometimes Happosai live. The same Ranma you can't suffer in a room for five seconds and the same Happosai who is your life's bane."

Taro chuckled. "I know femboy in a decent guy in general. I think we can suffer each other if we try. As for the old freak..." Taro suppressed a grimace of disgust. "I promise I won't fight him inside the Tendo grounds."

Nabiki smiled a toothy grin. "It's not that simply, Taro. Rule one. He is Ranma, you are Taro and I won't accept other pet names from either of you within a mile from my house. The same goes for anything more that mundane sparring. You want to beat each other's stuffing out, do it where others will clean."

"Rule two. You won't even look funny at Happosai within a five-mile radius from home. If he attacks, you get to remove him from the immediate area and pay for all collateral damage.

"Rule three. You get a futon to sleep and food to eat. You will pay normal rate rent every day plus an optional 10000-yen to keep your stay out of my rumor mill."

"Rule four. Screw this up and a rain of your photos along with full name and full known history might fall in Nerima."

"And rule five. You'll avoid transforming indoors. You'll keep your hands off family and other guests unless provoked, in which case you also pay collateral. That's your deal, take it or leave it."

Taro remained stunned for a while, scratching his head. "Things are quite bad back home so I'll take your deal, Nabiki Tendo." His initial confusion turned into a smile. "You are much more formidable than what you let other think" he added, reaching for his wallet while smirking.

Nabiki also smirked. "So I have been told" she answered, receiving the money. "Now come with me and stay close until I can pound similar rules in Ranma's head. Oh, and pay my bill too" she added almost as an afterthought.

Pantyhose Taro complied while his smirk grew even larger.

* * *

8-12-2006: End of chapter 2 and I find this story blossoming in my mind into something I like. Instead of writing specific responses to each review, I'll try to answer any general questions. Being close to canon while improvising will take some work, but I think I'll manage. Some might think Taro is a bit too nice in this chapter, but do remember he was shown saving people in need occasionally. As for his 'home problems' you'll have to wait.

Concerning Ranma and Akane. I'm not too fond of reading continuation fics where the two of them somehow come to their senses and hump each other the night of the failed wedding. It's cute but not too realistic. They almost died against Saffron and they are closer than ever after that, but they still need time. I know I'll be reusing some ideas others have already implementing, but I think the 'how' is marginally more important than the 'what' when writing a concept.

Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	3. Sparring and sneaking

Chapter 3: Sparring and sneaking

_Truth is in the mind of the beholder._

* * *

Akane concentrated hard, passing through the moves of a particular Kata Ranma had shown her half an hour ago. She knew she had yet to perfect it, but merely not stumbling and embarrassing herself had caused her spirits to rise aplenty. Akane hated getting embarrassed in front of her fiancé. She was also not sure she could control herself not to act in the face of his often-hurtful comments. The younger Tendo had seen the signs alright. Ranma tended to favor remaining silent these days, often fidgeting and thinking very carefully before talking. It still wasn't enough, as she had almost pounded him thrice since their little talk during the school break.

"That's more like it, Akane. It was yet your best try" commended Ranma, who was performing a far more complex exercise. "Let me guess, you were thinking of something else and you let your body work by its own, right?" he asked chuckling. "Repeat it a few times every day and your speed will go up in no time" he added, not missing a beat when he had to dodge a combo of two fast straight punches designed to catch him off guard. "See, it already helps" he went on, ducking under a high kick and promptly jumping as Akane's other foot swiped the floor moments later.

"Come on Ranma, spar with me for real!" she demanded, pulling three fast successive kicks that her fiancé avoided without even blinking. "Is it so much to ask you to treat me as a martial artist for once?" she added, jumping a meter from the ground and spinning in the air while passing next to the pig-tailed martial artist, foot extended. Ranma, with an unreal show of agility, clamped his toes on the floor and leaned way back, his spine almost horizontal, without touching down.

"Hey, I'm the best after all" he responded, propelling himself backwards and on a handstand. "I'm entitled to hold back, you know" he went on, his hands leaving the ground just as a roundhouse kick whisked below him. He landed on his feet a few meters away and Akane noticed in frustration he wasn't even breathing hard. His infuriating overconfident smirk was starting to get to her.

"You are an idiot, Ranma" she all but yelled, her punch missing his face as his head tilted to the side. The wall far behind him protested, a slight indention appearing in line with her hit. "This is just your stupid no-hurt-girls gimmick talking" she spat, her other hand trying to emulate the chestnut fist with inadequate, however impressive speed. "You are doing the same mistake my father does" she complained, unleashing a combo of multiple kicks. "How am I going to learn without getting hurt?" she continued, attempting a desperate plunge. Ranma simply somersaulted above it. "How am I going to beat that Shampoo bitch without getting hurt?" she followed, her hands touching down, then reversing her momentum, causing her to kick backwards with both feet. The pig-tailed martial artist leaped high, his feet clamping at one of the dojo's ceiling beams. He remained there upside-down, peering at his fiancée below as she fumed.

"I demand that you hurt me, Ranma Saotome!" she bellowed enraged, very much like a battle cry. In a feat of strength she had no idea she could do, she left the ground rapidly, twisting in the air. Her right foot kicking upwards, she smashed cleanly through the ceiling beam Ranma had been dangling from, creating a hole that let the sun creep in. That was when she realized what she had done, losing all the self-control her tightly reigned anger had given her. Instead of crashing on the cold floor, she landed smoothly in the hands of a certain very impressed martial artist. "Please..." she finished, her voice meek and her eyes damp.

They both remained still for some moments enjoying each other's touch. "How long are you going to hold me like that?" she inquired, although from her tone she was far from complaining.

Ranma leaned forward, then whispered in her ear. "You are the one holding for dear life, tomboy" he indicated and Akane blinked once before seemingly teleporting away with an 'eeep' sound.

"J...jerk!" she accused, her voice hardly sincere. She promptly decided to change the subject, looking upwards and gasping. "How exactly did I do that?" she asked awed. "My leg should have broken after something like that, yet I hardly feel sore..."

Her fiancé's smile was exceptionally wide as he alternatively regarded her and the dojo's new hole. "Simple. You used your chi to increase your jump height, power and endurance, all at the same time. In fact, up until you realized what you were doing, your body was glowing all over."

Akane's face went blank. "But you never taught me how to do that" she countered.

Ranma smirked. "Now that you actually did it, I can teach you how to improve. But you had to do it once yourself before I could do anything to help you. No sense in lecturing when you can't believe you can do it."

"Does that mean..." she started tentatively, stopping cold as Ranma picked a nearby bucket of water and doused himself.

The now redhead assumed a real battle stance, smiling cockily and simply goading her fiancée to attack. Akane rose a brow but nodded, punching forward powerfully. The next thing she felt was the wall colliding with her back and an agonizing fire burning in her abdomen. She blinked, collecting herself from the floor and gawking. Her fiancée had remained still, her palm extended forward. "That means the first part of your training is finally complete."

"You actually hit me" she muttered, nursing a rapidly developing bruise. Her look of pain and astonishment melted into the most beautiful smile Ranma had ever seen in his life. "Thankyouthankyouthankyou" she exclaimed, performing an impromptu victory dance, then dashing in to attack again.

Ranma raised her brow, then sighed. "Oh boy, I sure hope you are serious, Akane. You know what they say, be careful what you wish for because it might come true" she admonished, ducking under a high roundhouse kick and kicking at her other leg at the same time, sending her fiancée for a painful rear landing. Akane never let her smile diminish, recovering and attacking again. Only to find herself airborne in no time, shortly colliding with a wall. "It's high time you learned to reinforce your body with chi" lectured Ranma, her voice oddly devoid of emotion. "You need to feel its flow inside you and learn to redirect it where it is needed."

Akane collected herself, then nodded, marveling at how much worse than her fiancée she was in terms of skill. She knew that Ranma was good, but now she could see firsthand just **how good**. _And I can tell she is still holding back_, she shivered, feeling sad for herself. She barely managed to saw a kick that seemingly came out of nowhere, throwing her arms before her, aligned in a solid 'X' shape. She willed herself to feel the energy she knew was inside her and sighed in relief as she appeased the result, a defensive block that could stop a wrecking ball. Then Ranma's overhead twisting heel kick actually connected, causing the air around them to produce a cracking sound, and she gasped as she felt every bone in her arms, shoulders and spine creaking. As she stumbled backwards dazed, she glanced in the redhead's eyes and felt a cold chill entering her being. She barely had time to realize the cold was real when Ranma followed with a second, much softer kick that totally blasted past her defenses, hitting her just below her neck and sending her flying again.

She was much slower to rise this time, gladly accepting a helping hand from her sensei. Somehow, that word felt right when tagged on Ranma, she decided. "That's enough for today" stated the redhead emotionlessly. "You did really good, but we are just getting started. A soak in the furo and rest are mandatory to help your body recover. You'll also be really hungry at dinner. If you absolutely have to do something until tomorrow, try to feel you chi and nothing else." She recited and Akane still marveled at the lack of emotion.

Ranma started walking towards the exit, when a hand touched her shoulder. Akane felt the chill spiking through her senses. "When are you going to drop the Soul of Ice?" she asked silently, almost pleadingly. Ranma's temperature returned to normal at once and Akane gasped when she saw tears on her face.

"I'm sorry, Akane" apologized Ranma as she turned and Akane gasped again, for she saw the hurt in the redhead's eyes. "I couldn't do it otherwise."

The black-haired girl promptly crashed her smaller fiancée in a mighty embrace. "Thank you Ranma. Thank you so much for training me, sensei" she blurted, idly wondering why her eyes also felt wet.

They remained silent for a long time before she sensed Ranma tensing. She quickly let go as her fiancée produced a thermos-out of nowhere she noticed in disbelief-and changed back into her birth form, wiping her eyes all the while. Ranma's visage hardened and he glared at the door that slid open. "Taro" he challenged, his frown turning to surprise when he saw Nabiki following suit. "What did we miss?" he asked cocking a brow.

The Chinese fighter went to say something but cringed as Nabiki stepped on his foot with force. "You will all shut up and open your ears people. I will make this work and nobody will mess it up. That's especially for you Saotome so, for once, listen."

* * *

Taro yawned, stretching on his seat and looking away from the book he had been reading. All in all, things had gone way too smoothly. Ranma and Akane complained at first but were fast to grudgingly accept him once Nabiki recited his stay's rules. Soun and Genma had been indifferent, sparing a glance towards his person and quickly acknowledging him before resuming their tries to find new ways to steal at Shogi. Nodoka had shot an appeasing glance, quickly nodding in approval, while Kasumi had offered him an outright smile while making sure there had been enough food to satisfy everyone.

Taro actually smiled at the memory of Kasumi. He could still hear her whistling a happy tune in the kitchen while washing the dishes and felt a sudden pang of guilt for not offering to help. She was too much like his mother, he realized. The unfortunately named fighter raised a brow as he saw Soun and Genma creeping down the stairs, laughing quietly among themselves and removing what seemed like burglar masks. Dismissing the somewhat disturbing scene, he turned his attention to his book. He knew that everybody else was either locked in their rooms, like Nabiki, who had left muttering something about stock shares, or had turned in early, like Akane, who had seemed exceptionally weary and curiously giddy.

Sometime later, after Soun and Genma retired, Kasumi left her kitchen, approaching Taro. "I have readied you futon in the second guest room, Taro-kun" she chirped happily, although she was definitely tired. "Feel free to go sleep anytime."

The otherwise cocky fighter felt overwhelmed. "Thank you, Tendo-san" he replied somewhat hastily.

Kasumi graced him with a smile. "None of this" she chided. "Kasumi will do just fine. Sleep tight, Taro-kun" she offered, retreating to her room.

Taro couldn't help but smile back, then sigh. He waited a bit more, then rose determined. Retrieving a shovel and a sensor device from his backpack that lied forgotten next to the koi pod, he silently crept beneath the Tendo home.

* * *

Ranma sighed contently and stirred, having barely started waking up. He felt wonderful, he realized. Ever since he had returned from China, he had had to fight for his sanity almost every night, as nightmare upon nightmare would plague him. _Perhaps I'm starting to recover, _he thought, not halfway awake yet. He admired the softness of his futon as well as a feeling of warmth that somehow filled his being. He first realized something was wrong when he heard a second content sigh that knew was not his own. He slowly opened his eyes and gulped as he realized the extend of his situation. Inches from his face, Akane was lying, still asleep with a smile plastered on her face.

"Ranma..." he heard her whisper and he gasped as he noticed his hand was cupping a very soft but firm mount of flesh. Her favorite pig-patterned nightclothes were made of thin material, he decided blushing, before shaking himself awake once more. _I'm so dead_, he thought as he slowly removed his hand from her breast, doing his best not to wake her up. He was beat red by now as he tried to exit the bed-her bed he noticed with a sense of ever-increasing dread. Just as he realized there was no way in hell to calm down enough to use the Umisenken, Akane's eyes opened slowly and she regarded him adoringly. Then her smile died a horrible death and her eyes went wide.

"What are you doing in my bed, you pervert!" she shrieked, her face so red from embarrassment and anger that matched his Chinese shirt. Foot, check!

"I don't know how I got here" he complained, also shouting. Mouth, check!

"What do you mean you don't know?" she snapped back, her eye twitching.

"It's not that I'd want to sleep in you bed, anyway!" he shot back, then froze as he heard himself. Insertion, most definitely check!

As soon as the large mallet appeared in her hand, he knew there was no hope for him. At the last possible moment, however, something clicked inside him, much like divine intervention. His hand moved rapidly and he smoothly cupped her cheek, causing her to gasp and freeze in mid-swing. A new flush rose on her face.

"R...Ranma?" she asked uncertainly, as she noticed his lips were too close to hers.

The pig-tailed martial artist used the instant to collect his wits. "I meant that I would never come to your bed without your permission. I would never do that" he declared calmly but firmly. He sighed in relief as Akane seemed to lose some of her tension. "This headache is killing me" he muttered, a bit louder than he intended, as he slowly retreated from the bed.

Akane, mallet still in hand but somewhat relaxed, watched him stunned. Suddenly Ranma's face went blank and his brain rebooted. "Headache" he whispered. His hand reached for his head where he found what he was looking for. "Big bump" he followed, staring at his still dazed fiancée. "Panda!" he exclaimed as in revelation, putting two and two together.

At that point, Genma burst into Akane's room, almost using the Yamisenken to clear the door. "What a wonderful surprise" he bellowed. "I accidentally stumble on such a delightful sight. Now the schools can be joined!"

"Panda!" growled Ranma menacingly as his sanity decided it was past time for vacation. Two wide sets of eyes regarded him.

"Ranma?" asked Akane unnerved, the fiasco forgotten for now.

"Son?" followed Genma, ignoring his danger sense that was entirely too busy declaring DEFCON ONE.

A blood red aura surrounded Ranma as he finally snapped and snatched Akane's mallet right out of her lax hand. "PANDA!!" he roared, catapulting himself towards his father, hammer caught between fingers and toes. They both disappeared from sight, tumbling down the stairs, Genma producing very realistic pig squeals while Ranma cursed in five different languages, pounding away mercilessly and throttling at the same time.

Akane finally recovered, touching the cheek Ranma had cupped and sighing. A small smile appeared on her face as she remembered her last dream, a smile that turned wicked as screams of bloody murder resounded from downstairs.

When she cleared the bathroom, Ranma, that had somehow changed into female type, was done pounding her father into a pretzel, swinging once more and scoring the koi pond. Needless to say, wet panda pretzels are entirely too difficult to unwind. The rest of the family was already around the table, watching intently. Nodoka and Taro were clearly enjoying themselves while Soun was as pale as Death after blood donation. Nabiki was dabbling with her digital camera, doing her best not to cackle and Kasumi seemed frozen in her 'oh my' stance, complete with the usual mouth-covering hand.

"Sorry about that" muttered Ranma sheepishly as she walked to Akane and returned the mallet, which she promptly conjured away.

"Sorry about doubting you" she whispered back, her smile a bit marred. They soon joined everybody else at the table, Akane shooting murderous glances towards her cowering father.

"Nice form" commented Taro while stuffing his mouth, still chuckling.

"I'm not in the mood, Taro" replied Ranma dangerously, her eyes still gleaming and Taro decided to skip the PMS joke he had in mind in favor of keeping his head on his shoulders. Kasumi, always the big sister, soon brought her some hot water, changing him back and filling the thermos he produced. That helped to lift his spirits for a while. "At least the old freak is not here" he muttered, then stopped as everybody glared at him.

"What a haul, WHAT a haul!" came the inevitable cry from afar and Ranma let his head hit the table with a resounding thud.

"It never fails" commented Nabiki, watching Taro wearily as the chopsticks in his hand snapped.

Genma, still in the koi pond, weakly raised a sign to request help, sighing as he was ignored in the ensuing chaos.

* * *

10-12-2006: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. The Soul of Ice is very handy even outside battle, but the price is that everything comes back to flood you when you drop it. And keeping it for a long time might cause Nabikification XD. Don't you dare hope I will keep updating so often, though...

I welcome any input, but I really want to know what all you readers think about the R-A parts. This is the first time I really try my hand in romance...

Don't forget to review, esteemed readers!


	4. Trouble in the air

Chapter 4: Trouble in the air

_Keeds these days no listen to tha big Kahuna. 'Tis' sad days...  
-Principal Kuno, morning speech._

* * *

Nabiki entered her home, mildly weary after another profitable day at school. Discarding her schoolbag, she hardly spared a glance at her father that was feeding the koi, striding in the kitchen.

"Hello Nabiki" greeted Kasumi, allowing herself a respite from cocking to regard her younger sister. Her smile faltered a bit when she saw the middle Tendo's troubled eyes. "Did something happen at school?" she asked softly.

Nabiki produced a pile of yen notes, depositing them in a box safely tucked above the fridge. It was almost a ritual between the two sisters, Nabiki 'displacing' money in the kitchen, where Kasumi would find them and use them to bolster the meager income Soun would get from other sources. "I'm not sure" she replied earnestly. She thought about donning her 'Ice Queen' mask, one that had been serving her well as long as she could remember herself, then dismissed the notion when she remembered whom she was talking to. Kasumi would see right through it effortlessly. "Things seemed to go well for Ranma and our little sister. I mean, these last two weeks, ever since Taro moved in, have been almost ideal, with only the natural amount of psychos running around Furinkan. And yet Akane has been edgy all day today."

Kasumi nodded. "I think we should talk to her before she does something she regrets" she offered. "But that's not all, is it?"

Nabiki shuddered despite herself. It was easy to think of the older Tendo daughter as oblivious or even addled but she knew better. Kasumi had an almost supernatural way of reading people, of peeking in their minds and hearts. Furthermore, she had a way of knowing everything that happened in or around the Tendo estate, even if she would rarely act on that knowledge. "It's about Taro" she answered plainly, cringing when Kasumi's smile widened.

"You are worried about him." It was not a question, Nabiki knew, and she cursed under her breath.

"You bet I am!" she countered, avoiding the pitfall of denial so many others would fall in. "The Taro I used to know was rude, loud and had a hair-trigger temper. When I brought him here, I expected he and Ranma would be at each other's throats all day. I do have all my bases covered, mind you. I would only profit from their fights." Nabiki sighed. "And yet, both of them keep their temper tightly checked. I know they are not pod people or anything because the emotions are there alright, but they keep acting so... mature by their standards."

Kasumi chuckled at that, reaching for her sister's shoulder and clasping gently. "Ranma changed after they returned from China. His spirit is both strengthened and frightened" she whispered cryptically. "Both he and Akane are changed. They won't tell us what happened, but it was something important." She paused, as if straining to hear something. "As for Taro, I think this is closer to who he really is. But he thinks he is forcing himself to be nice. You do realize he is looking for something, don't you?"

Nabiki huffed. "Of course I do" she retaliated, somewhat miffed. "My cameras keep catching glances of him wandering around the house while no one is looking" she added, then cursed again under her breath.

Kasumi eyed her sister critically. "You know what I think of your methods, Sis" she commented, then her features lightened again. "He has already searched under the house and even offered to help me in the garden to get an alibi. He has also searched more than half of the rooms thoroughly. He even found five out of the ten money stashes you keep in your room, although he never touched a yen."

Nabiki regarded her sister incredulously, then remembered to collect her jaw from the floor. "One day, I'm going to find out how you do that, then find a way to make a profit out of it" she declared quietly, trying to save face for her own sake. She was a control freak and she accepted it, thriving even. It annoyed her to no end when someone like her older sister knew so much she did not. "Still, I agree we can do nothing for now" she continued, raising a brow when Kasumi's smile faltered. "What's the matter?"

"Akane is back" she replied sadly, just as the door opened. "Something went wrong." They both looked to their side, seeing their sister that was trying to sneak past them, eyes bloodshot.

"Welcome home, Akane" chirped Kasumi, causing her to freeze halfway up the stairs.

"Hi Sis" she replied, though her smile was blatantly fake. They locked eyes for a while, then Kasumi sighed.

Grabbing both Nabiki and Akane with unexpected fervor, she gently but firmly ushered them to the youngest girl's room. "Sister meeting" she declared sternly, locking the door and sitting on the bed. She ignored Nabiki, who was doing her best to seem uninterested, her eyes regarding Akane who was timidly examining the floor.

The next seconds were spent in silence, both Kasumi and Akane waiting for the other to start. Nabiki knew the situation was starting to get to her when she found herself fidgeting. Nabiki Tendo never fidgeted! Sighing, she decided it was her call. "So, what did you do to Ranma this time?" she asked, knowing she had hit a chord when Akane cringed. She waited a bit before continuing. "Really, Sis, you can tell the facts yourself or have us wring them from you. Guess which is easier."

The younger Tendo looked at Kasumi, who nodded in accord, then sighed, trying to compose herself. "It was going too good these last two weeks" she started slowly. "I couldn't get that strong in five months by my own but Ranma made it seem so easy. We got along somewhat well, too. Then I had to blow it..." Akane was grateful when Kasumi embraced her. "We had a cooking class today" she went on at length. "I was so exited when I gave him some. I thought it would be good this time and he actually tried it, but he... It was horrible and he said so. I barely managed not to hit him..."

Nabiki groaned but bit back a well-deserved comment after an unbecoming glare from her eldest sister. Akane went on. "Then Shampoo ambushed us while we were coming home. It's not the first time she glomps him like that either and I know it's not really his fault, but after the last quarrel I... I just saw red and..."

"And they went flying" interrupted Nabiki chuckling humorlessly.

"In the river..." added Akane pitifully.

Nabiki groaned again, massaging her temples with both hands. "Let me guess the rest. Ranma with Shampoo in the drink. He turns to she, bimbo turns to cat, redhead freaks out and runs away screaming with cat on top."

Akane buried her face in Kasumi's lap. "He must be hating me now. He might even..." she started, pausing a while then resuming. "He might even refuse to train me more."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Yeah, as if that is what you are worried he won't do with you" she muttered, barely loud enough for the others to hear. "Look Sis" she went on after a while. "It's not like you can actually hurt the poor guy physically, you know. As long as you don't take him by surprise, he could have a mountain dropped on him and hardly affect him. He and Ryouga duke it out all the time and both of them know how to plant a punch through steel. But of course..." she added, stopping and shaking her head.

"But of course it is the meaning behind the action that can really harm him" went on Kasumi. "You have just shown him you don't trust him at all."

Akane perked at that. "Why should I trust that triple-timing jerk!" she exclaimed angrily, just before Nabiki used a mallet to tap her on the head painfully. "What was that for!" she asked rubbing a fast-developing bump.

The middle Tendo snorted. "That's for not being honest with either us or yourself. We are not Ranma and we know you too well. Plus you need to cool down a bit."

"I don't know what you're talking about" she replied defensively. "It's not like I...I like him."

Nabiki malleted her sister again for good measure. "Look Sis... we can all see Ranma is doing an effort here. Hell, it's like he has grown three times smarter since China. I know you won't tell us what happened there, but keep this in mind. However tolerant your fiancé might be, you will lose him sooner or later if you keep this up. He is going to snap, Sis..." her mouth curved in a wicked smile. "And it's not like you have no competition. There are more than one Tendo females after all."

Akane gasped, fully turning to regard Nabiki. The middle Tendo smirked. "I did say he's getting smarter, didn't I? The whole package doesn't look half bad now."

Akane's eyes snapped to regard Kasumi accusingly. Beyond all expectation, the elder Tendo blushed. "You've got to be kidding me" she breathed. "You were the ones that pushed me on him in the first place!"

Kasumi regained her smile. "We knew nothing about him then" she explained tentatively.

Akane ouch-ed as Nabiki bobbed her a third time. "So go out there, calm down and stop feeling sorry for yourself before we decide to claim him!" she added indignantly, leaving the room along with Kasumi.

* * *

Ranma sighed as she finished wringing the water out of her clothes. She then left the park bush she was hidden in, dodging a man-eating plant and trying to remember the way home. She had never noticed when, but somehow she had come to regard the Tendo estate as a true home. After ten years on the road, her whole life essentially, she could appreciate the commodity.

_Home is where your heart lies, after all._ Ranma stopped cold as her brain performed the equivalent of a somersault. "Where did that come from" she mumbled shaking her head as she resumed walking. "It's not like Akane would ever see me as anything more than a teacher or friend and that's laying it thick." Memories from Jusendo came rushing through her mind and the redhead suppressed a shudder.

_Think about martial arts and weapons and deadly foes. Oh yes, deadly foes are safer. _Ranma sighed again. "It's like what I was afraid it would be. Akane will be in serious trouble if I don't act soon. I will try training her to use that as soon as I get home. I just hope she's ready..."

The buxom redhead stopped mumbling as soon as she felt a familiar presence nearby. She knew the person in question had seen her and was approaching. She had dreaded the meeting.

"Hi Ranchan!" came the cheerful greeting, but Ranma could tell not all was right. Ukyo's voice held a subtle note of fear and anxiety.

The redhead found herself indecisive. Part of her wanted to forgive her friend for what she did two weeks ago. Another part ached to coil her hands around her neck and violently throttle her. Ranma sighed and decided she would choose later, after making a point. She found sliding in the Soul of Ice was becoming easier and easier these days. "Hi Ukyo."

The chef in question looked as if she had slapped her. Her cold undertones combined with her use of her normal name conveyed the message Ranma was positively enraged and trying to hide it. Ukyo recovered fast though and decided to ignore her gut feeling that told her to back off. "I've been busy these last weeks but I'll be back at school soon" she added lightheartedly, hoping to derail Ranma's anger.

Ranma swallowed a frown. "Good for you" she replied, then tried to keep walking. A hand on her shoulder stopped her.

Ukyo sounded almost desperate. "Are you mad at me Ranchan?" she asked numbly. "I wasn't trying to hit you with that bomb, I was aiming for Aka..." The chef stopped talking as Ranma turned abruptly, shrugging off her hand and looking her directly in the eyes. Ukyo gasped at what she saw. The blue-gray orbs were the same she knew and loved and yet she could feel something different, a ferocity telling tales of blood. "What happened to you in China, Ranchan?" she asked, wanting to sound demanding but lacking the resolve to do so.

"Nothing you'd like to hear" she retaliated and Ukyo could see the sadness.

"I'm your friend! You can tell me" replied the brunette, gasping when she saw Ranma trembling in rage.

The redhead kept her eyes closed, taking some deep breaths. She let some time pass before opening them again and replying. "I don't mind too much if my friend interrupts my wedding or lobs bombs at me or tries to claim me as some kind of sick prize. But throwing bombs that can hit civilians and innocents, claiming to be a martial artist of all things, just crosses the line. I expected that from Kodachi or Shampoo but not from you Ukyo. I had hoped you were better than that."

Ukyo felt a pit opening below her stomach. "But I love you, Ranchan" she whispered pitifully.

Ranma sighed. "Look Uchan" she started calmly. Ukyo's delight after the use of her pet name dissolved as soon as she saw her gaze was still hard. "I want you to think very carefully if you want to love me like a friend, a suitor or hate me like an enemy." Her voice became almost a whisper as she added, "I fear that the first category has been painfully empty."

Ukyo's eyes went wide both at the words and at the fact her fiancée was fading from view. "Wait Ranchan!" she pleaded, but the redhead ignored her, donning the Umisenken. Ukyo saw a droplet of water falling on the ground, just before it started raining.

* * *

Taro cursed aloud as he felt the searing pain knifing through his belly again. He could see the Tendo estate just a block ahead, so close but so far away for his injured body. He tried to take it one step at the time, limping badly while leaving bloody imprints of his hands on the wall beside him. He took two more steps with nothing more than sheer will, then collapsed on his knees, panting loudly.

"Whoa, Taro! Who gutted you that good?" The cursed warrior in question turned his head to see a familiar redhead running towards him from behind. He smirked despite his wounds.

"You know something femboy" he gasped weakly, just as Ranma reached him. "Out of all your fiancées, you have the larger bust. How fair is that?" The world was spinning around him now and he felt darkness gnawing at the edge of his sight.

Ranma frowned, taking a good look at his injuries. "Just for that, Pantyhose, I should leave you bleed all over the pavement. But I feel sorry... for the pavement." She sighed as Taro let a dry chuckle, then lost consciousness. "You so own me for that, Tentacle boy" she muttered, effortlessly and gently picking up the larger boy and sprinting back home.

Ranma didn't bother with the door, leaping cleanly above the outer fence and taking Taro directly to his futon. "Call the doc" she ordered, passing next to Nabiki and using a no nonsense tone. "Taro is down" she added, running back to the guestroom carrying a hoard of first aid supplies.

The middle Tendo knew not to question Ranma, grabbing the phone and calling Dr. Tofu. After a while, she entered Taro's room where Ranma and her father were trying to stop the bleeding. Nabiki cringed when she saw a large red scar, starting from Taro's right shoulder and ending at the left of his pelvis. "Did he run into Rouge or something again?" she asked in her usual neutral tone.

Ranma stood up. "Don't think so. He has no burn marks. This was made with a claw or a horn. It's not clean enough to be a weapon or chi blade."

Nabiki raised a brow as the redhead entered the bathroom, washing the blood off her hands, then using a handy hot water kettle to switch genders. "Are you in medicine too now Saotome?" she inquired.

"Anything goes" replied the now male Ranma casually, entering the kitchen.

Kasumi and Nodoka were hard at work readying lunch. "Is Taro alright" asked Kasumi worried after they both greeted him. "We are almost done here."

Ranma fidgeted a bit. "We are waiting for Dr. Tofu, Kasumi and..." he hesitated.

Kasumi sighed sadly. "I'll try to stay out of sight until he treats him" she offered.

"Sorry about that" replied Ranma sheepishly, drawing a curious glance from his mother. "I'll tell you later, mom. Let's try to deal with only a couple problems each time..."

Speaking of problems, Akane chose that moment to enter the room, causing both other women to stiffen. "Are you sure you need no help with..." she started, then stopped cold as she noticed the pig-tailed martial artist. "You are back Ranma. I..." she tried hesitantly.

Ranma stopped her with an unreadable glance. "An hour after lunch I'll be at the dojo" he stated. "Then we'll talk." Akane went to complain, but they all fell silent as Genma turned the television on in the living room.

'_This is Nerima news, brought to you by Kuno toothpaste. Chaos in the middle of Nerima today as a fight broke between many strange creatures, positively identified as flying Minotaurs. While there had been sightings of such creatures before, we have never seen more than one at the time. The following video came from amateur sources.'_

The screen went black for a while, giving everybody in the house enough time to come by and watch. Seconds later, three monsters came into view, each busy demolishing a building. The picture blurred and what seemed like another monster, plus eight tentacles, fell on the other three. The ensuing battle was swift, impressive and thoroughly brutal.

_'All combatants, along with a couple of local vigilantes that tried to interfere, escaped the scene before the authorities could come. Miraculously, there have only been mild injuries and no losses. More serious is the collateral damage, estimated to fifty million yen. In other news, a vicious cabbit has been invading grocery stores stealing large quantities of carrots. The scientists believe that...'_

"That would explain Taro's wounds" mumbled Ranma, just as Dr. Tofu Ono arrived, prompting Kasumi to unwillingly drop out of sight.

* * *

17-12-2006: I hope this chapter explains Taro's attitude a bit. You are free to guess what exactly he has been looking for. The Ukyo portion was difficult to write, mainly because I wanted her to realize what she did without having her dropped from the fiancée game. As for the sister meeting, I'm surprised I have yet to see another story using it. It just makes perfect sense... 


	5. Playing with fire, Part 1

Chapter 5: Playing with fire, Part 1

_Whether Immortality or, for the matter, longevity can be endured is ultimately a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. _

_-Exalted Grandmother Khu Lhon_

- - -

Dr. Tofu Ono replaced the last of his vials in his bag, then exited the room, smiling at Ranma who sighed relived. "He'll live, I gather" he stated and the good doctor nodded.

"Taro might not be too powerful without his curse, but his chi regeneration levels are almost on par with yours. He does have a couple of cracked ribs, but between his resilience and my new special salve he'll be up and about in a couple of days." His smile changed to a frown. "Not that any of you wrecking crew martial artists listen to me, but tell him to take it easy."

Ranma laughed sheepishly. "I'll get Nabiki to blackmail him into staying put. He'd do the exact opposite if I tried."

Dr. Tofu chuckled at that. "Well, then, I think I'll..."

"Hello doctor. Will you be staying for lunch?" came a gentle voice from behind them.

Ranma gasped and leaped to the side, nearly smashing through the wall, wincing as Tofu's glasses got covered by a thick layer of mist and he performed a wild about face, his medical bag whipping the place the pig-tailed martial artist had been standing.

"Oh, Kasumi-san. What a wonderful coincidence that we'd meet here" he chirped, his eyes unfocused, his hands twitching for unfortunate victims.

Ranma almost groaned as he saw the pain hiding behind the older Tendo's faltering smile. Despite general belief, Kasumi resembled as a Prozac advertisement only in appearance. Still, she took a deep breath, extending a hand and clutching the doctor's shoulder. Which caused his hair to stand as though electrocuted. "You are so silly, doctor" she laughed gently. "Come, I'll get you to your seat" she added, herding him downstairs like so many cattle.

Ranma shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "A total waste if I've ever seen one" came a voice from his side, and he turned to see Happosai, blissfully seated on a pile of lingerie in his room while smoking his pipe. "They should get on with it and say how they feel before it's too late."

The younger martial artist raised a brow at how serene the grandmaster looked. He actually seemed like a content adorable grandfather instead of Nerima's prime lecher. Provided you ignored on just what he was lying. And the fact that his pipe's smoke was forming the frilliest set of female underwear Ranma had ever seen in either reality or wet dream. "You seem like you had a field day" he noted, quite curious.

Happosai let his lips lapse to a Cheshire grin. "Oh, I don't complain. I decided to go and train outside Nerima. First I run in some chicks in sailor outfits, struggling against a couple of pathetic lesser demons. Their attacks were just full of female chi. Then I bumped into a couple of alien girls. Juraian royalty, I think. But the best part was my stop at St. Hebereke School. Did you know that Kuno girlfriend of yours is a genius herbalist? Her aphrodisiacs are first rate."

Ranma felt a shudder running down his spine. "Kodachi is not my girlfriend. She is just nuts. I lost count of how many times she's poisoned me with some crazy powder."

The grandmaster's grin failed to falter. "Yeah, now that's a girl with spunk. If you want to help her get sane, spend a hot night with her. That'll cure her for sure" he advised in a sagely tone. Ignoring Ranma's face-fault, he went on. "In fact it was so good a day, I have to block my chi draining for a couple of days. Any more female chi and I'll burst," he added giddily.

Ranma suppressed an urge to smack the older martial artist, content with the fact he was not soaked wet and groped by now. "Say, gramps" he started after a minute of silence, picking and empty corner and sitting down. "Were you ever... I mean really..." he fidgeted. "Were you ever really in love with somebody?" he managed, trying to will his body to stop blushing.

Happosai sobered very fast, his face serious for once. "Let me tell you a story, Ranma" he started, after letting a large whiff of smoke. "Once upon a time, there was a tall, handsome and powerful martial artist. He was still young, a bit older than you perhaps. Training around China, he stumbled upon an Amazon village. There he met a girl his age, heir to the village's matriarch and also powerful. At first they were quarreling all the time, but then they realized they had fallen in love. They married some time later."

The grandmaster paused, as if hard pressed to recall a memory. "They spent the next thirty years together, spawning children and grandchildren and they were happy. But because they were both powerful martial artists, they aged much slower than normal humans. Soon they grew restless because they knew the world was a big place. The village council wanted them to stay and the girl decided to abide. She loved her home dearly and wanted to protect it even at personal cost. She soon decided to throw her husband out of the village, knowing he would otherwise stay with her and eventually grow to hate it. So the powerful, stunning, tall, handsome, brilliant martial artist left and was declared an outcast. After that, they both took many other mates. Some they loved, others not quite, but they never forgot each other. They met a century later and spent another two years in secret together, having another child and remembering their past, before drifting apart once more."

Staring deep into Ranma's wide eyes, he let a chuckle. "Today, they are both three hundred ninety-five years old. They pretend to be old acquaintances and old enemies, but not everything is what it seems..."

Ranma grinned. "So, how did you meet that tall and handsome martial artist?" he joked, earning a pipe induced bump. His face grew serious. "So you and Cologne spent thirty years together and yet you could not remain forever like that" he marveled. His face grew troubled. "Will I also grow that old..." he mumbled, mostly to himself.

Happosai chuckled, then laughed aloud. "Ranma, my boy, if your father and Soun would get off their lazy asses and started training half as much as you do every day, they could claim many centuries of life. Nodoka-chan is as old as your father and look at her. Or did you think the family blade is just for show?" Still snickering, he went on. "With your potential and the female chi you can get from your cursed form, not only are you immortal, barring plague or violent death, but you will never age a day past your prime."

Ranma stayed still for a long time, blinking at empty space while trying to digest the information. He found the enormity of the revelation to be too grand for him. "Flies, Ranma, flies" sniggered Happosai, reaching with his pipe and replacing his heir's jaw to its proper place. "Don't try to accept it all at once, you have all the time in the world."

The somewhat lame joke jogged Ranma out of his stupor. "This actually makes my problems even larger" he lamented, shaking his head. "Even if I choose one of the girls and even if I prevent the others from killing her, I'll still stay young while all of them will age..." he muttered.

Happosai sighed. "I can't tell you what to do, Ranma. In your place I would have slept with all four girls by now, if only to gain another perspective. Then I'd ask them if they would be interested in sharing" he chuckled, gaining a death glare from Ranma. He soon went serious again. "In fact, I envy you, Ranma. All four of these girls could grow to compliment your powers. All four of them, if properly trained, have the potential to live forever or almost so. Give them enough time and from bitter rivals they will turn to true friends and perhaps lovers." He sighed again at the look of incredibility plastered on his heir's face. "Yes, Ranma, even the Kuno girl would mellow in time."

Ranma sighed, rising as the smell of delicious food filled his nostrils. "Are you sure you and Cologne were sweethearts?" he asked as they both walked towards the stairs.

Happosai licked his lips. "She and I were a lot like you and Akane-chan. You should see how much of a tomboy Co-chan used to be. At nights she was just insatiable" he said longingly.

Ranma's face went green. "Too much information, old gnome" he spat, then his eyes went wide as he saw Dr. Tofu crunching an empty bowl.

"A waste" repeated Happosai dejectedly, grinning as Kasumi started serving.

- - -

Akane stopped before the Dojo doors, her hand suspended in midair. _This is silly_, she chided herself. _I'll just go in there and apologize. Then everything will be fine._ She sighed, then felt anger seething just below her neutral mood. She tried to question herself, to realize why she was angry, but that only made her angrier with herself, with Ranma and with everything else. Frustrated, she tried to press anger back, taking a few calming breaths, wiping the proverbial dust off her gi and thinking about flowers and merry songs. Determined, she opened the doors and entered.

Ranma was sitting in lotus position, his eyes fixed on an object resting on his open palm. She raised an eyebrow at that since she knew her fiancé was not really big on meditation. The object, she marveled, was a paper origami, shaped like a lotus flower. Her chi senses, still very weak but growing every day, warned her about a large quantity of free chi coming from the item. She waited a bit, then her eyes went wide as the paper flower started glowing in the visible light spectrum, blue colored energy leaking from its edges. She did not dare to interrupt, her eyes roaming from the imbued item to the features of the boy-no, young man that held it. _Focus, girl, focus_ she demanded from herself, shaking her head as soon as she realized she was staring. _Stop looking at his face or his powerful arms that could hug you and would.. NO! wrong! _

Akane took another breath, resisting the urge to slap her own treacherous perverted self, trying to recall she was here to apologize to her jerk of a fiancé so that they might have another of the very entertaining and helpful sparring sessions she had become addicted to. Remaining a respectable distance away in case his little project went explosive like many out-of-control techniques would, she steeled her resolve then coughed to bring attention to herself. Ranma's eyes snapped to her person, then back to the item on his hand and he concentrated briefly, drawing the energy back to his body.

"Trying a new move?" she asked as he set the flower aside and stood.

Ranma nodded. "Something like that. It's more of a control exercise than anything else for now" he answered, then regarded her questioningly, noticing her defensive posture. He had come to recognize his fiancée's major moods from body language, if only to save both of them from many kinds of pain.

Akane sighed, then tried to find the appropriate words. "Look Ranma" she started, maintaining a levelheaded tone. "I'm sorry I knocked you into the canal even though I know what you think of cats" she went on, resisting an urge to roll her eyes as the pig-tailed boy winced at the last word. "It was wrong of me even though you did let that amazon floozy all over you like, like..." she stuttered, stopping as she felt her temper flaring. "Anyway, I'll understand if you are mad at me and you don't want to spar like we have been doing," she added, preparing to hear him confirm said rejection. What she got was anything but.

Ranma smiled, rubbing his nose a bit, then walking closer. "I'm not mad 'Kane" he provided. "I'm not all that thrilled about seeing a c.. a feline either, but at least we got rid of Shampoo faster. So don't worry, tomboy, you still won't get away from training." He flinched a bit as Akane snorted at the 'tomboy' part. "Now if you could keep that temper of yours down..." he added, smiling mentally at the bait.

"I don't have a temper!" she yelled loud enough to prove the opposite to half of Nerima, apology forgotten.

Her fiancé bit back an 'uncute tomboy' retort, responding with an oblivious 'Kasumi type' smile instead. "I'm glad. If you did have a temper, today's training would be really tough."

Akane, who had readied herself to respond to an expected 'uncute tomboy' retort, was thrown off balance and struggled to continue. "What does my non-existent temper have to do with training?" she asked, now unsure of herself.

Ranma smirked a level four infuriating smirk, producing a digital camera out of hidden weapon space and setting it at the corner of the dojo so that it could survey all of it. "Isn't that Nabiki's camera?" asked Akane, anger forgotten.

"Yep" came the answer. "I'm just borrowing it. And yes, I know how to use one"

His fiancée frowned. "I'm surprised she let you take it."

Ranma's smirk widened. "She didn't, I forgot to ask."

Akane regarded him blankly, then giggled. "She'll have your head when she finds out" she pointed, now outrightly laughing.

He frowned indignantly. "Is my uncute fiancée worried about me?" he asked, inwardly cursing himself a second later.

"As if, you insensitive jerk. I'll do nothing when she kills you!" she responded, throwing a punch that was easily dodged.

"I'm just using her techniques against her. Martial arts Capitalism is still part of anything goes and she is using that technique all the time against us."

She calmed down again, shaking her head. "You have a point there. So, what kind of exercise do you have in mind? Freestyle again or are we going to play bokken idiots like yesterday?"

Ranma sobered down in what Akane had dubbed sensei-mode. "Freestyle with a catch, 'Kane. You must endure against one of the strongest attacks of Anything Goes at the same time."

"Stronger than the 'fast break' technique?" she teased, extracting a snort.

"I believe so" responded her fiancé, frowning a bit. "I'm talking about the art of insulting and taking advantage of your opponent's anger," he added, his eyes turning to the floor.

Akane hesitated a bit. "And... you are good at that technique?" she asked at length.

Ranma turned around, finding the opposite wall very interesting. "Are you kidding?" he chuckled mirthlessly. "I have been trying really hard since I came to Nerima. I have been trying really hard to **stop** using it all the time and I'm still only occasionally successful."

The dark-haired girl felt a tug of guilt under her stomach. "Ranma.." she whispered, biting at her lip. "How much do you really mean when you use that... technique?" she asked.

He frowned. "Does it matter?" he asked bitterly. "Truth or lie, the enemy is not supposed to tell the difference. It becomes instinct picking on your opponent's weaknesses whether they are real or not. Really effective, too, when you spend your whole life listening to a stupid Panda." He shook his head to dispel the thought, then turned to face her, a ghost of a smile on his face, talking fast to dissuade her from offering her pity. "Still, it is an effective technique. I can use my anger as a weapon and contain it, but someone untrained is very vulnerable. It's easy to find yourself at the wrong end of a spiral when you let your anger get the better of you."

Akane bit back an acidic comment, still puzzled at how angry she felt. She couldn't help wondering how many of the vocal barbs he would constantly throw were sincere. Still, she had seen firsthand how her fiancé would use any loss of control against an opponent. She mentally shuddered when thinking how an Ascending Dragon Blast would work on her during one of her fits. At least she could accept to herself she would sometimes lose control. "So, what am I supposed to do?" she asked.

Ranma smirked. "I'll be doing my best to make you angry while sparring. You must try to remain as calm as you can. Think of it as working on your weaknesses."

Akane threw him a dirty glare. "Anger is **not** my weakness" she proclaimed loudly, then caught herself, having the good grace to blush while faking a cough. "I'm ready," she added, now collected.

He nodded, reaching for the camera's record button. "Attack then" he responded seconds later, hopping away to avoid her opening attack, a straightforward snap kick. Akane followed with a flurry of fast and hard punches and Ranma nodded as they were well-thought and nowhere near as predictable as two weeks before. _Time to change that_ he thought, pushing away a part of his mind that was trying to persuade him to take pity on the girl.

She tried to execute a straight overhead kick that took a toll on her balance and he acted, dodging while his hand shot upwards, grabbing her heel right at the apex of her move and forcing it upwards, tripping her other leg at the same time. Never expecting that, she landed on her rear, her only saving grace the fact that she tried to kick with her other leg before she could reach the ground. "That was sloppy even for you" he teased, now smirking.

Akane jerked backwards, making a handstand and landing on her feet. "You need to try harder than that, pal" she responded cockily. "Since I know what you are trying to do, you can't make me angry" she added, matching his grin.

"And what will you do?" he asked. "Use your lethal uncuteness as a weapon? Combined with your toxic cooking it would work well."

She caught herself before she could snort. _He is baiting you and you know it. Don't make a fool of yourself, s_he chanted mentally, fainting another kick, then going for a rabbit punch.

Ranma sidestepped, yawning loudly. "That was better. Keep it up and you might even hit me. When P-chans fly maybe."

Akane had to check herself again, then her eyes went wide as she barely managed to block an otherwise easily avoidable attack. _He is getting to me, damn it! Am I really so fast to anger..._

"What's the matter? Too busy trying not to go berserk to fight?" he taunted, leaping above a vicious jab and landing behind his fiancée. She had to spin around pretty fast to block a palm strike that still managed to knock some of the air in her lungs. A subsequent leg swipe was avoided by a clumsy backskip that further compromised her balance. A lightning fast but still light tap on her forehead caused her to collapse, arms flailing.

Akane regained her footing, angry to herself. _That's it! Offence is the best defense._ "Am I allowed to talk back, or would my oh so mighty instructor be distracted?" she asked, coming to him with a collection of rapid kicks.

Ranma chuckled, dancing around her blows with his hands crossed behind him. "If my uncute, unfeminine fiancée thinks she is enough of a martial artist to do that, who am I to stop her. Knock yourself out." He responded, then proceeded to land on her horizontal leg during one of her most overextended kicks and somehow deliver a spinning swipe from that position, aimed right at her head. She yelped in surprise, blocking with a forearm, then pumping large amounts of chi to brace her defense, awed at how he could manage so much power with so little leverage. She summarily found herself downed, forearm throbbing with pain. "I didn't mean it literally, tomboy, but I'm still right." He went on, adding insult to injury.

Her brows narrowed as she desperately tried to retain control of her emotions. "You just caught me off guard. Even Ryouga is faster than that" she riposted, although her voice was a bit strained.

Ranma laughed inwardly, evading the next, not quite levelheaded attacks. "If you compare me with ol' pork-brain, then I'll have to compare you with Gosunkugi" he commented gleefully.

Akane was caught off guard by that. "Gosunkugi is not even a martial artist" she snapped back, unaware of the danger.

_Hook line and sinker_ snickered Ranma. "My point exactly" he added wickedly and watched as Akane froze. He could swear he heard her fragile control cracking and contemplated whether he should employ the last, most dangerous – for him – attack. _Why the hell not, she has been calling me a pervert since the beginning. Time to send her off the deep end. _

He went in for another jab, which Akane subconsciously tried to dodge, then his hand brushed the top of her right breast.

"RANMA!!" came the bloodculling cry as the youngest Tendo's control shattered.

- - -

25-01-07: Not a whole lot happening, but I enjoyed writing Happi's part. Someone does not survive three centuries by being simpleminded and Happosai might act immature but when he wants he is anything but senile. By the way, the image of Akane malleting Ranma every second sentence is a fanfiction myth. In both anime and manga she rarely uses the mallet and she only jumps to conclusions half of the time. That not to say her temper is not a major obstacle between her and Ranma and thus must be evened...


	6. Playing with fire, Part 2

Chapter 6: Playing with fire, Part 2

_One of the most difficult trials of my life was mastering the 'Soul of Ice' battle meditation technique. It became easier when I realized the man I loved had rediscovered its potency, potency then lost to our tribe._

_-Honored Matriarch Xian Pu, during her third century birthday speech._

- - -

"RANMA!!"

Akane Tendo was furious. She was also confused, never expecting such a bold action from her unwilling fiancé. A tiny voice inside her told her it was no big deal, a perfectly acceptable 'Anything Goes' trick for him to use in the name of the art. Another part of her mind was berating her for falling for it. What would she do if a real opponent tried that or something less mild_? He could have actually groped you_, her mind noted. And yet, that same simple action had reinforced a need she had been trying really hard to ignore. It had felt **nice**. She wanted him, she realized and that was why she was so angry. Could that action mean he also felt something, even something purely physical for her. Or was it merely a tease, all in the sake of training. Her own insecurities came crashing in her thoughts and that confused and depressed her more. She could not deal with that so she did the usual. She became angry; or rather stark raving mad.

The pig-tailed martial artist cringed as the first punch came. It was slow, sloppy, overextended and unbalanced. It also reduced the floor he had been standing on to wooden cinders. The kick that followed was equally wild. It missed by a British mile, of course, and caused the ceiling planks to clatter by means of air pressure. Ranma let a deep sigh as he continued evading his fiancée's charge, frowning at her really hot, dark red battle aura. Even though he was deep in the Soul of Ice and even though he had expected and provoked the reaction, it pained him to see the progress of almost two years vanishing in a fit of rage. A smaller part of him was awed by the sheer uncuteness and beauty of his fiancé's crazy dance. Such a display of raw strength chi and untapped potential actually turned him on. Or maybe it was the fact her gi top was becoming a bit looser every minute, revealing another millimeter of creamy desirable flesh and... _Soul of Ice, Soul of Ice, _he chanted in his mind driving back that particular line of thought.

She soon brought her trusty mallet into the fight. It was both a legal weapon and inevitable, even though she would not normally use the chi manifestation weapon in normal combat. In fact, most of the time she barely acknowledged its presence. It was usually formed out of anger chi and would dissipate in seconds, just after the righteous pounding. This time, however, her assault was evaded again and again. The still sane part of her mind reminded her this was a sparring match, or rather used to be, and dodging was to be expected. She proceeded to drown that part into a sea of anger, flailing her weapon wildly again and again. Ranma never got close to being hit.

-

She could not tell how much time had elapsed. All she could see was red, a harsh, darkish red that clouded her vision. Slowly, it came back to her. The sparring match, the challenge not to get angry, Ranma's rather effective methods. Suddenly, she could see movement below her. She first saw Ranma, fighting a mallet-wielding opponent. With morbid fascination she realized she could see herself fighting from a different perspective. At first she shuddered at how similar this was to her out-of-body experience in Jusendo, but then calmed down when she realized there was no danger here. She then felt shame. Sheer, unbridled shame for her anger that could not be contained. She watched with horror as her body attacked with a form that hardly resembled martial arts. She was a berserker and she hated herself for it. How could she hope for Ranma to even like her when she was not even a worthy student?

_Ranma _she thought bitterly. She mentally slapped herself. _Ranma Saotome never loses. He always says that. He might stay beaten for a while, but he never gives up. And I **will** prove, if only to myself, that I can measure up to that. How can I ask myself to settle for anything less?_

Akane focused on the battle below her, cringing as she saw herself being drawn to a spiral and unable to stop. She pushed shame away and tried to concentrate. She was beyond anger at that point. She could still feel it, dominating her body, but her mind was past angry. She looked into her own being, her own self and saw her center, ravaged in a sea of crimson fury. She collected the rage, the feelings that caused her to lose control. She collected them and condensed them and tried to keep them at the figurative arm's length. Still a part of her but far enough not to let them control her. It was hard and harsh and painful in a way she never expected but she managed, detaching herself from the flames.

Reality rushed back and she was once again in control, yet something was different. The anger was still there, though, she realized, easily disposable. Everything else was different. All her senses were clearer and the world around her possessed a crystalline sharpness. She felt as if her mind was unshackled for the first time, free from bonds she did not know existed. She threw an experimental punch to her fiancé and she marveled at how slow she moved and how slow he dodged. She kept attacking and she noted everything was moving in slow motion, as if the universe was giving her time to think. She mentally frowned as she saw the tiny errors in her form and did her best to correct them. She then recalled her displaced anger and knew she could use it to fuel her power. She felt a soothing coolness filling her being, unexpected yet not unwelcome.

-

Ranma Saotome noticed the change immediately. He had just finished leading his fiancée into their sixth spiral and she was nowhere near touching him. Then her aura simply vanished and her brown eyes started shinning with a faint amber light. If that was not enough indication, the barely visible, ice blue chi around her was. Akane stopped her wild stampede and attacked with clear, carefully calculated moves instead. He smirked and, uncharacteristically, she mirrored his expression. Moments later he felt her anger chi returning. This time, though, her attacks were balanced, faster and much more controlled. There were still holes in her form, but he remained purely defensive in his moves, always dodging or blocking. Then a single attack, coming after an ingenious triple feint, managed to pierce his guard, launching him off the ground. He still landed on his feet, now visibly impressed.

Akane froze as soon as she managed to land a hit. She felt satisfied, yet something was wrong. Something about her new perception felt wrong. In desperation, she tried to disengage her new state of mind. Her previous anger vanished and she started feeling a growing sense of dread. Ranma approached her, his face visibly concerned. He then frowned for a while, observing her. She tried to ask for help, but her lips did not move. He came even closer, saying something she could not hear. His hand touched her head and she shivered. He then leaned forward and planted a brief kiss on her left cheek.

Her new perspective shattered.

"What happened?" she asked weakly as her knees gave up on her and she fell to the floor.

Ranma eased her fall, kneeling just next to her, a happy smile on his face. "Nothing much. You just entered the Soul of Ice for the first time." His casual answer caused her eyes to grow the size of dinner plates...

- - -

Warrior maiden Xian Pu of the Jocketsuzoku felt many things, though content was not one of them. As soon as she managed to escape from the canal she found herself, courtesy of Akane's mallet, and as soon as she got off her screaming airen, she slowly made her way back to the Nekohanten, wet, miserable and a cat.

"How went the hunt today, granddaughter?" asked Cologne, somehow keeping a straight face while giving her heir a plastic cup full of hot water. The white and purple cat simply hissed in irritation, taking the container between her jaws and rushing to her room to avoid giving the restaurant's patrons a free show. "Hurry up or you'll miss the rush hours" continued the Elder, causing her to sigh.

Hurrying upstairs, she entered her room via the tiny pet hatch she had placed on her door for exactly that purpose. Cat claws and doorknobs never mixed nicely after all. Dousing herself with the warm water, she transformed to her true form, taking some time to regard herself on the large vanity mirror decorating her room. She stood there frowning, her eyes following her nude curves. While Xian was not really a narcissist, she was aware of her own beauty and how to use it. Most men in her village hesitated to even look her in the eyes. Most men everywhere would give everything to have her. And yet the one she wanted, her perfect match was beyond her reach.

#"Damn you, Ranma. Why did I have to fall for someone like you. Why did you have to be so strong yet so nice."# she cursed in mandarin, charging her hand with sickly green depression chi and driving her palm through the mirror, knifing it cleanly in half. She watched dispassionately as the upper half crashed to the floor and shattered.

She had tried many ways to sway her 'airen' during the last one and a half years. Seduction, threats, bribes, blackmail, magic, lies. She laughed bitterly at how futile everything had been, how her plans would backfire and grow the chasm between her and Ranma. She had briefly considered the possibility that Ranma may simply not like girls, but had dismissed it very fast after using a certain scrying artifact. Ranma Saotome had a very healthy libido. He also had enough control to resist her even when she would rub herself all over him, something that made him even more desirable to her eyes.

#"And I can't even talk to him properly. He subconsciously thinks I'm an idiot!"# she lamented, closing her eyes and fighting back tears. It was not dignified for Amazon warriors to cry, unless it served to further their purposes, she reminded herself.

Then her eyes went wide as an idea crossed her mind. Perhaps if she could communicate with Ranma better, he would learn to love her. She always had difficulty with languages but there were other ways. Now she only had to find where her grandmother had hidden her potion recipe books and scrolls. Elder Khu Lon had forbidden the use of any more mind-altering concoctions, making it very clear that trying to tamper with the brain of somebody who possessed so much power and potential was ludicrously idiotic, if not suicidal. Training baggage like the nekoken and the Jusenkyo curse made mind-tampering even more dangerous.

Xian Pu frowned. It was a good thing she had 'neglected' to mention most of the events that had happened in Jusendo and had roped Mu Tsu to keep his mouth shut unless questioned. If her grandmother learned who had killed the Phoenix god-king she might even annul the kiss of marriage that bound her to her life's love by Amazon law.

Feeling a lot better, she quickly donned one of her waitress uniforms and left her room before her grandmother could start nagging. She decided to put her new plan to motion as soon as everybody else went to sleep. Magic might work wrong around the atrocious chaos aura surrounding her airen, but a simple, harmless thought-exchanging potion couldn't really go wrong.

Right?

- - -

"The 'Soul of Ice'?" she repeated incredulously, searching Ranma's face for any indication of mirth.

Said martial artist was completely serious. "A feeling of cool clarity and time moving slowly" he stated and Akane nodded dumbly. "Yep, that's it."

"But... but I never tried to learn it. You never even told me what I had to do!"

Ranma smirked. "It was really a long shot but I figured a tomboy like you would have enough spank to pull it off" he answered, dodging a half-hearted swing from a frowning fiancée. "I hoped that if I made you mad enough, your body would imitate my 'Soul of Ice' and I was, as usual, correct."

Akane frowned some more. "I thought you had to be embarrassed to learn it" she went on, eliciting a sigh from her fiancé.

"I **could** have asked Kasumi and Nabiki for embarrassing photos" he started, causing Akane's face to go green as she thought the implications. "But that worked better for you because it's you temper that's getting in your way. And you did not **learn **the technique, you just used it once without knowing it"

"What temper?" she demanded reflexively, regretting it instantly as Ranma handed her the digital camera. She had the good grace to slightly blush before continuing. "And why did we go in so much trouble if I did not learn it?" she asked, a bit puzzled.

"This" he started, pointing at the camera "is the first reason. You got to know yourself to improve. We will make it a habit to monitor our spars. The second reason is to give you an idea of how much power you can get from the 'Soul of Ice'. At first I thought it was kinda silly myself, but now I know better. And the third reason is" he added, pausing for effect while scowling. "The third reason is that you needed to get rid of excess anger chi because you have been very very irresponsible."

Akane employed her most innocent poker face, impressive even for a theater lover such as she. "Anger chi?" she asked blankly.

Ranma grinned, rubbing his chin with a finger. "Let's see. At least three nights ago you started trying to project a chi-ball without telling anyone. You first tried to use depression chi. What did you learn?"

Akane sighed. There was no hiding anymore. "It felt awful. I can't believe you and Ryouga were dabbling with something so... wrong."

"Yeah, yeah, I realized it soon enough. Pig-boy is still heading for suicide though. Incidentally, the next day after your little experiment you looked like death warmed over. Everybody was asking what I did to you."

His fiancée raised a brow. "I didn't notice, although I guess I was feeling a bit down."

Ranma sighed and went on. "Two night ago, you tried confidence."

Akane blushed a bit more. "I now know why your head has trouble fitting through the dojo door. It felt nice using that emotion though."

"The fact the next day you tried to leap from the fourth floor while your running record is two floors is totally unrelated then."

The dark-haired martial artist looked sheepish. "I did overestimate myself a bit. Did I thank you for catching me?"

Ranma sighed once more. This was going to be difficult. The girl was denser than he thought. "And yesterday you tried anger chi. You actually managed to wake me up and you even manifested a true ball for a second."

"What that has to do with anything?" she asked a bit annoyed. She had wanted to first learn the attack then show it off to Ranma. She had hoped he might be appreciative of her efforts for once.

Ranma slapped a hand on his forehead. "Come on, 'Kane. Even you can figure that out. Tell me I don't have to spell it."

Akane fumed. "What do you mean even I can figure it..." she started but stopped cold as reality crashed around her. "You mean I have been feeling a **bit** edgy today because I used anger chi the night before?" she asked meekly.

Ranma stood up and started pacing back and forth irritated. " 'A bit edgy' ain't the word! Really 'Kane what were you thinking. I thought you would know the consequences after that fiasco with Ryouga's 'Lion Roar'. If you try to project anger chi you get angrier and angrier. It's not rocket science."

By that point Akane felt like ten yen. _Stupid stupid stupid stupid_... she berated herself. "Um... sorry?"

Ranma shook his head. "Look, I know anger chi works well for you and I know you want to learn how to do the fancy stuff, but unless you want to become a berserker in every fight I suggest you try another emotion until you have learned the 'Soul of Ice'. If and when you master your anger and learn to let it go when you not need it, you can knock yourself out. In fact, try to forget chi blasts for now. You need more training before that."

Akane sighed heavily but nodded. She reminded herself that Ranma was now training her more seriously than ever before. The least she could do was try not to turn into a homicidal, anger-powered bitch. Even if Ranma had never called her that, the truth behind the thought almost reduced her to tears.

Almost. The youngest Tendo gathered her resolve, accepted her error and decide to remain strong. Plus, another thought entered her mind. "What about the..." she started, stopping Ranma as he was walking to exit the dojo. She was blushing and touching her cheek where Ranma had kissed her.

The pig-tailed martial artist also blushed. "Well, you had no control over the 'Soul of Ice' and in the beginning it's dangerous to stay in it for long. Cologne would rap me on the head to drop me out of it, but anything unexpected, annoying or repulsive would do" he answered, walking away.

Akane, still on the floor, blinked at the comment. "Repulsive?" she asked incredulously. "Why would he think I'd found that repulsive?" she asked the bare dojo walls, sighing contently as she recalled the soft touch of his lips on her cheek.

- - -

11-03-07: And this concludes chapter six. I bet nobody expected Akane of all people to dabble with the soul of ice, but let's face it, it would help her a lot. And while Shampoo and potions are not really unusual, this time it's not a malevolent scheme entailing love or hypnotic draughts but an 'innocent' attempt at communication. Expect non-typical results, of course... Stay tuned for the next chapter that will most likely feature Taro again.

Remember to review!


	7. The calm before the switch

Chapter 7: The calm before the switch

_The universe is a very chaotic place. Unless you take everything with a grain of salt, you might as well go bananas. Enjoy while you can, I say._

_-Ranko _

- - -

The first thing that registered in his mind was pain. Not focused at some particular point but rather a more abstract definition of pain. He welcomed it with a mental sigh of relief. Last time he had lost touch with reality he wasn't sure he would wake up again and pain meant he was still alive. Slowly, as he gained in awareness, he managed to pinpoint the pain at his torso. He also started regaining his senses. He first heard the sound of his own breathing, then caught many of the ambient inconsequential ones. Wind blowing steadily, a lone bird singing, a distant engine sputtering, the sound of a pencil running on paper.

Pantyhose Taro opened his eyes slowly, allowing himself enough time to get used to light, then tilted his head to the side.

"Oh, you are awake" noted Nabiki, letting down her notebook and pencil and coming to kneel next to his prone form. "Dr. Tofu said you'll need to stay put for a day or two. Whatever got you, got you good."

Taro attempted to move but soon gave up as pain spiked in his mind. "How long was I out?" he asked in a hollow voice, gratefully accepting a glass of water from the middle Tendo.

"Almost five hours. You were lucky Ranma found you when he did. You were literally spilling your guts all over Nerima. Don't worry about spending my time, I'm putting the standard nurse fee on your tab" she added, forestalling an argument she could tell was coming.

Taro blinked twice, a pained smirk touching his lips. "How becoming of you, Tendo. Shows who the breadwinner in this house is."

Nabiki smirked back. "Call me Nabiki, Taro. I always try to be on first name bases with my clients. You'll need more than flattery to get a discount, though."

"I have many services I could provide, Nabiki. As soon as I get on my feet, I'll be more than happy to show you."

If the innuendo embarrassed her, she refused to show it. "Oh, I'm sure you could offer a lot of things Taro. I might take your offer and accept some physical aspects of your services in the future" she retaliated and this time Taro did become a bit uncomfortable. Smiling at her small victory, she went on. "For now, however, I'm more interested in information. Starting with what the hell managed to take you out like that."

Taro frowned a bit, debating how much to reveal to the mercenary before him. "Just a scuffle with some friends. Nothing to worry your pretty head over" he replied at length.

The sharklike grin featured on the middle Tendo's face caused him to involuntary shiver. "Unfortunately for you, Taro, your little 'scuffle' became part of the local news. In fact, that video showed me just how much you and your 'friends' are alike when **wet**."

Taro regained his composure in less than a minute. "I'll be ready for them next time" he spat, mostly angry with himself.

Nabiki sighed theatrically. "Perhaps a boon will loose those cute lips of yours, then" she countered, revealing a plate of hot and nice-smelling soup. "Nothing personal, of course" she added as Taro frowned.

The Chinese martial artist realized just how hungry he felt and almost decided to take the offer. He still had one card to play, though. "I thought food was included in my rent, Nabiki. Are you going to back out of our deal?" he asked inquisitively, his eyes critical.

Nabiki bowed her head once, yet kept smiling. "I am appalled you would consider I would do something like that. Forfeiting a deal I made would be ludicrous" she declared with mock passion. "But you misunderstood, Taro. The food, as you noted, **is** yours. You can take it any time. What I'm offering is the privilege to be fed by a desirable girl like me. Seeing as you can hardly move, I thought you would take my generous proposition."

Taro tried once more to stir then gave up. He knew when he was overmatched. Checkmate indeed. "Very well. I'll take you 'generous' offer" he replied with a fair amount of sarcasm.

Nabiki managed to conceal how happy she felt. It was almost a vice for her, treating injured martial artists that were normally much more powerful than her, then charging them for all they worth. Even beyond the money, she loved having such power over people who could otherwise break her bones without even trying. It made her feel in control, however immoral she knew it was. A pity Ranma healed so fast and usually had Akane to care for him...

"Very well, Taro" she agreed, gently bringing a filled spoon to his lips. "Let's get to business."

- - -

Mousse sighed as he felt his way back to his room. It was hardly ten in the morning and he had already managed to spill food on his clothes. Sighing, he swallowed his pride and slid his glasses down from his forehead. The world around him turned into something a bit more coherent than a blur. As he rummaged through his hidden weapon space for another outfit, he wished he could develop his chi to the levels Ranma had achieved. Maybe then he could keep his chi senses up for more than a few minutes per day.

Maybe then Shampoo would notice him a bit more.

Sighing again, he quickly changed, wanting to return downstairs. Shampoo was out on deliveries and the old ghoul had been insufferable these last weeks. Mousse was not an idiot. He knew the elder was fishing for information regarding their 'excursion' to China. She didn't ask outright, though, so he kept his promise to his beloved and revealed as less as he could.

Suddenly he stopped cold just outside Shampoo's room, his keen hearing catching a noise he could not place coming from within. He decided to investigate. If it was a rat, he **had** to get rid of it before Shampoo could come back. Last time his beloved encountered a rat while in cat form, it hadn't been pretty. Seeing her spend another week vomiting and skulking was not high in his priority list either.

Slowly opening the door, he extended his senses, scanning the area for lifeforms of any kind. Instead, he felt the very familiar traces of magic from further inside the room. His curiosity compounded, he slipped in and tried to enhance his ailing vision. He slowly reached for one of the chairs and removed the wool mattress covering it. Amidst the chair's legs he saw it, a full collection of alchemical equipment, currently in the process of distilling some magical concoction. A half-completed potion, he realized.

It should be noted that while Mousse is a male and as such considered inferior in the Amazon culture, he is nothing like the stereotypic submissive male of his tribe. So far he had managed to conceal a lot of his knowledge from 'elder' Cologne, much of it regarding his own, quite formidable knowledge of potion-making.

Mousse, of course, knew for whom this potion was intended and also knew about Cologne's explicit orders. It would be simple to stop this new plan of his beloved, but would also only serve to cause her to hate him for it. Instead, he hastily reached in his subspace, recovering another alchemical kit and quickly brewing a potion of his own. He wouldn't even try to divine the precise nature of Shampoo's mixture, but a general yet extremely potent nullifier would do.

Mousse left Shampoo's room a few minutes later, whistling and apparently happy with himself.

"What were you doing in Xian Pu's room, boy?"

The hidden weapon master turned to the voice's general direction and almost gulped. Not being able to see Cologne's inquisitive glare was something he was grateful for. Even feeling it on him made him uneasy.

"I thought I felt a rat and had to investigate" he replied truthfully and the amazon elder seemed to accept that. She also had bad memories from the time her granddaughter's feline instincts took over. Contrary to common belief, elders are not necessarily devoid of guilt; they can just keep it at bay easier.

"If you are done then let's hurry back down mister Part-timer. The restaurant will not run by itself."

- - -

Akane opened her double bento and, sitting under her favorite tree, dug in with gusto. At first she had been appalled when her appetite started rivaling Ranma's. Akane had always been heavier than children of her age and even though she intellectually knew it was due to her training, she had always felt self-conscious about her weight. She had even visited Dr. Tofu for advice a week before. She was ecstatic when the good doctor congratulated her for starting to seriously train. The chiropractor had noticed her progress almost immediately and had warned her to never try and resist her appetite. She was finally convinced to follow that advice when he noted how she had finally gotten rid of the last traces of excess baby fat.

Stealing a glance towards a large cluster of boys from her class, she noted her fiancé. The rest of his classmates had almost kidnapped him, talking about showing him something interesting. Judging from the many glassy-eyed individuals, it involved naughty magazines of some kind. Akane noticed that while Ranma would throw a glance or two towards the cluster's center, he seemed genially bored and anxious to find an excuse to bolt. He would even look towards her direction occasionally.

"Why would he be interested?" she muttered almost bitterly. "He has a flock of gorgeous girls throwing themselves at him plus a female body of his own."

Akane knew Ranma was not the pervert she accused him to be. Even though she would usually call him like that as loud as she could, she was very often trying to cover her own... inappropriate thoughts. At first she was furious when her fiancée would try and sneak in her room at nights. After deciding to play along and pretend to be sleeping, though, she had been merely puzzled. Sometimes he would come in carrying a kettle of warm water even though he was in male form. He would scan the room for a second or two, then leave. Akane wondered if he was afraid Shampoo had sneaked in, but remembering his... condition with cats, she had dismissed the notion.

Other times he would just grab P-chan and toss him out of the window. She had been tempted to drop the facade and belt him then and there, but she had then noticed he was doing his best not to hurt the tiny piglet. Akane knew there was something more in that story but for the life of her, she couldn't figure it out.

And other times Ranma would simply creep in, sit on the floor and watch her sleep for as long as a full hour. At first she had found it stupid, but later she thought it was flattering. It was times like that when she felt her hopes rising. _He might feel something more than friendship or obligation, otherwise he wouldn't do that,_ her mind would shout.

At least she was almost certain they were friends. Others would only remember the times they argued or the times she would send him for an overview of Nerima, but she knew better. When nobody was trying to push them together or pull them apart and when there was no challenge, bet or their stupid pride involved, they would get along just fine. Studying together, walking together or just making idle talk. It would never count as a date of course. It's not a date when you spend time with the person you love, walking, eating and enjoying their company. Not a date at all.

Right?

Akane sighed. Before she could contemplate how more difficult than advertised self-delusion is, she heard a noise she could not place. It sounded like... a snore.

It was then she decided to listen to her instincts that were telling her someone was spying on her. Rising on her feet, she turned and delivered a kick on the tree's trunk, hard enough to cause the whole thing to shudder. A body fell from the higher branches with a yelp and crashed just next to her.

"Konatsu? What are you doing here?" she asked startled, just as the effeminate ninja collected himself from the ground and pushed the last traces of sleep off his eyes.

"A thousand apologies, mistress Akane" he exclaimed bowing. "I didn't mean to alert you but I fell asleep without meaning to."

She sighed, trying hard to remind herself that the extremely cute girl before her was in reality a guy. Sitting back down, she patted the space next to her. "Since you are here, you might as well keep me company."

Konatsu seemed ecstatic. "I wouldn't want to impose but it would be my pleasure" he responded happily.

As soon as he made himself comfortable, Akane decided to cut to the chase. "So, why are you here and not with Ukyo?" she asked, regretting it immediately when the male kunoichi turned solemn.

"Mistress Ukyo told me to leave for today. She made it... very clear that she wanted to remain alone. Apart from her, you and master Ranma I really don't know anyone else, so..."

Akane patted him compassionately. It was common knowledge Konatsu had feelings for Ukyo, although the gender-confused ninja knew no way to actually express himself. "What set her off this time?" she asked, more than a little curious. Ever since the failed wedding, she had only seen the Kuonji girl twice and even then from a distance. Akane found it hard to hold a grudge concerning exploding okonomiyaki, despite her resolve to do so.

Konatsu sighed. "Mistress Ukyo has been edgy ever since... that event. But from what I understand she tried to reconcile with master Ranma yesterday and was rebuffed. When she returned she was wailing... unflattering things for everybody she knows, including herself. I could do nothing to calm her down" he answered sorrowfully.

Akane felt guilty. She wanted to feel sorry for her rival because she knew Ukyo was not really a bad person even though rather impulsive at times. Instead she felt guilty satisfaction that Ranma had rejected the female chef. While she could see Ranma would rarely spend time voluntarily with Shampoo or Kodachi, Ukyo was another matter altogether. She knew very well that for Ranma, Ukyo was a good friend and she felt rather threatened by the fact.

"You should try to make more friends, Konatsu" she advised, eager to cheer him up. "If you keep glued to Ukyo like that, she will just take you for granted." The irony of the situation was not lost to Akane as she wondered since when she was qualified to give advice concerning matters of the heart.

The male kunoichi seemed to contemplate that. "I'm not sure how to do that..." he said at length, quite a bit sheepishly.

Akane sighed, then smiled. "You are already doing it. Next time you come to find Ranma, or me don't stay hidden. We won't always be willing to talk, but if you need us we will be here. And you will always be welcome to our home. Kasumi is always happy to have another mouth to feed. You could even help me and Ranma train."

The Tendo girl gawked as Konatsu's eyes turned to stars. She raised a brow when he produced a microphone from thin air. "Is this happiness?" he exclaimed loud enough to be heard in all Furinkan. "It feels like a sunny day in my soul. What did I ever do right to receive such a wonderful proposition? If only I wasn't so shy, I would accept gladly. Oh joyous day!"

Akane regarded him with half-lidded eyes. "That was touching and all, Konatsu, but you might want to be a bit more discreet next time. My ears are ringing..."

- - -

Ryouga sighed in relief. He had finally lost his pursuer and he couldn't be happier about it. At first he had been glad to meet a real princess, even though he almost got a nosebleed when he noticed she was dressed to sleep. He started worrying when she demanded to 'get off his lazy ass and kill the horrible black dragon that kept a pure and innocent maiden like her imprisoned.' As far as Ryouga was concerned, she was scarier than the poor beast. When he had hesitated to help, she started chasing him with a sword, actually kicking the dragon off her way as it tried to stop her.

Now that he was safe, he only needed to figure where on earth he was. Then he could try to find Ranma and pay him back. That rabid princess was obviously Ranma's fault, after all. He squirmed around in the dark a bit, touching what seemed to be silk and feeling glad it was not sticky. He hated it every time he was caught in a giant spider's web. At long last, he felt one of the walls of his prison give and he stumbled out of the closet.

A closet filled with female clothes, he noted embarrassed. Clumsily, he spun away, his backpack knocking down a chair. His eyes went wide as he noticed what seemed to him like a mini chemistry lab hidden underneath. Furthermore, his interference had knocked away some of the vials and pouches that used to lie around what seemed like an intricate alembic. He summarily panicked, knowing from experience that messing with such projects could only lead him to trouble. Franticly trying to rearrange everything underneath the chair once again, he went pale as one of the pouches opened and released a tiny amount of white powder in one of the mini-cauldrons. Avoiding the heart-attack and the urge to yelp, he hurried to secure the pouch's string and tried to evacuate the immediate area.

Cologne felt a strong sense of deja vu as she spoke. "What were you doing in Xian Pu's room, boy?" she asked, resisting the urge to cackle.

Ryouga, who had just been glad to find the door, almost leaped to the ceiling. "Cologne?" he asked incredulously. "What are doing in Oz?"

The Amazon elder sighed as her staff cracked on the boy's skull. She marveled at how much chi she had to use to bypass Ryouga's shields. Like Ranma, the lost boy had grown a lot in power. "You are in Nerima again, foolish boy" she commented as he rubbed at his new bump.

Ryouga frowned. It had taken him two weeks to find Nerima again and that was a lot even for him. "I'll be leaving now..." he muttered, growing quite a bit depressed.

About three hours later, he finally exited the Nekohanten, almost bumping on a giddy-looking Shampoo that tried to enter. She had every reason to be happy after all. Her potion should be ready by now...

- - -

15-03-07: After the **subtle foreshadowing** in this chapter, I hope you'll expect the next one eagerly. For anime-only readers, Konatsu is Ukyo's pet ninja from the manga. His life before was very much like Cinderella's and he thought he was a girl until Ukyo, Akane and Ranma saved him from his stepfamily. He is working as a waitress in Ucchan's for 10 yen per week and he is actually powerful, right up there in Mousse's and Ryouga's league.

I want to thank all reviewers for their time and remember:

Nabiki's friendship. Worth: 500000 yen. A review or ten. Worth: priceless.


	8. Effects effectively applied

Chapter 8: Effects effectively applied

_The lines of power passing through Nerima are an awe-inspiring sight indeed. We should find a way to claim part of that particular location, as its value is only comparable to the power value of its inhabitants._

_-Memoirs of prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty._

- - -

"This will be your last mistake, old pervert!" exclaimed a very wet, very female and not nearly that angry Ranma as she chased the grandmaster of her school from rooftop to rooftop. Happosai, carrying his trademark loot sack full with Furinkan's female team gym shorts, kept running around in circles, trying to lose his pursuers.

"Is that the way you repay me for offering you a glass of fresh water, Ranma? Kids these days..." he exclaimed, having to bounce around like a flea on speed to avoid his heir's frantic attacks. The boy-currently girl- was coming along fine and even if he rarely had the chance to officially train her, having her to run around like that was good exercise for both of them. The gym shorts were precious, too.

Behind them, Akane was running at street level, trying very hard to keep up and actually gaining a bit as the two martial artists were fighting as much as they ran. The mob of angry female athletes that followed her was falling back fast, almost having exhausted their stamina. They stopped altogether as the heir to the Tendo Ryu executed an unreal leap, landing on the same rooftop Ranma and the old master fought on.

Yuka collapsed on her knees, panting for air. "It's not fair, none of the three is even winded and we have been at it for ten minutes already. What are they running on?"

Sayuri would have chuckled if she had not been busy breathing for all she was worth. "That's the Anything-goes for you. Actually, I'm almost enjoying this. Ever since we started chasing the old pervert, my records at P.E. keep rising. I'll bet anything this is just a form of training for them."

"No kidding" panted Yuka, wiping sweat from her forehead. "We should really tell Akane to be more careful when she power-jumps like that while wearing a skirt though. Anybody below and behind her sure get a show."

Back on the roof, things were getting rather interesting as Happosai had to dodge some swift and very accurate mallet swings in addition to Ranma's casual onslaught. "You've been doing a great job training Akane-chan, boy" he commented as he barely dodged a flurry of Amaguriken level jabs. He tried to jump-glomp Akane for a quick power-up and predicted she will try to use her mallet at him, so he first feinted to the left, then dove from her right. Akane smirked as she brought her weapon down hard. Instead of aiming directly at the old pervert like she would have done weeks before, she smashed the concrete before her feet, launching a hail of tiny, very fast chunks that showered him and stopped his charge.

"Didn't expect that, did you?" stated Akane, beaming with enough pride to bloat the sun. Never let it be said that modesty is one of younger Tendo's consistent traits.

Happosai smirked, noticing his two students' faces mirrored the expression. Time for a real test. "However, I'm really disappointed you two have yet to get it on. I assure you that after the first time you'll be at it like rabbits."

That had an effect, although not as severe as he expected. The two teens glanced at each other for a moment, blushed a bit, then returned their eyes on their target and charged. Happosai leaped away, his eyes going wide when a tiny chi blast, curtsy of Ranma, ruined his next foothold. Stumbling, he saw a mallet strike coming and had to move very fast, grabbing the edge of the swinging weapon and flipping above it before it could connect.

He landed behind them, deciding to finish the session when they both performed an artistic about face. "Of course, there's still hope for you, m'boy. Shampoo-chan seemed to like the kiss you gave her this morning."

**That** had a real effect. Akane's face went from shock to panic to anger very fast. Her eyes burning, she turned and stared at her fiancée that was currently ashen pale and was trying to form placating gestures. "Ranma!" she growled.

They both blinked as something blurred between them, then Akane kicked Happosai hard enough to launch him to orbit, right before noticing an unfamiliar cold draft at her legs. She developed a full body blush as she realized she had lost an essential piece of clothing to the old pervert, a pervert that was heard cackling in the distance.

Ranma, on the other hand, had to tilt her head to the side to miss the flying master. Her eyes went wide when her fiancée's high kick gave her a very brief view of the place said stolen garment used to occupy. Turning to the side, cheeks burning brightly, she for once thanked the gods for her curse. Not only being intimate with the female body prevented her from getting a major nosebleed, it also served to hide how happy her body felt in a physical sense.

Akane, realizing the folly of high kicks after her loss, was by then embarrassed enough to serve as an airport beckon, especially after seeing Ranma's reaction. "Pervert" she muttered at her, looking away while holding her skirt down, a rather pointless gesture at the moment.

"It was your own damn fault, you uncute tomboy. Letting your guard down like that" she responded wearily, still too embarrassed to look at her. Her mind was busy replaying the scene and chanting rather flattering things about Akane.

That served to bring anger back. "I wouldn't have if you didn't fool around with that amazon!" she shot back, growing enraged.

Ranma also fumed enough to override the previous moment's awkwardness. "I didn't go anywhere near Shampoo today, you idiot. The old freak played you for a fool."

Akane seemed to grow uncertain. "You... you didn't?" she asked, biting her lip.

The redhead threw her hands in the air in a 'why me' gesture. "You wouldn't know. I was only constantly within your vision ever since I woke up in this morning" she exclaimed exasperated, turning away and jumping off the roof.

Akane followed after making absolutely sure she was holding her skirt down really tight and there was no one underneath. Ranma was slowly heading for the Tendo estate, muttering constantly and too low to be heard, but she could guess the gist of it. After minutes without change, she decided to swallow her pride.

"Why are you so mad with me?" she asked, quite a bit nervously.

Ranma frowned. "Why would I be mad with an uncute tomboy like you?" she asked back, trying to sound bored and indifferent and failing miserably.

Akane let a deep sigh. She was aware Ranma was trying to make her angry to avoid the question and she would have none of it. "Please talk to me, Ranma" she pleaded, almost desperately. "I want to know the truth."

_Wouldn't you be surprised to know the truth... Like 'you know 'Kane I want your everlasting love and I'm often lusting after your body.' As if I'd ever manage to say that. Would she laugh, faint or mallet me, I wonder. _ "I don't know what you're asking 'Kane" she denied, though with little fervor.

"Please..."

It sounded too unlike Akane, she decided. Letting a deep sigh, she stopped walking and turned to face her. Her pout was damn adorable, too. "The reason I'm mad at you is because you just don't trust me!" she exclaimed despite trying to hide her emotions.

Akane was stunned, her eyes uncertain and locked on her. "That's not true. I trust you to teach me. I'd trust you with my life. I have already done that so many times and you are always there for me when it counts."

"Last time it was barely enough" she whispered and Akane winced. They had only fleetingly mentioned the battle with Saffron, never attempting to actually talk about it. Before Akane could respond, Ranma shook her head as if to clear her mind and went on. "What I mean is that you always think the worst of me. Be it Nabiki, Ukyo, Shampoo or even Happosai, you'll sooner believe **them** than give me the benefit of the doubt."

Akane blushed. "I guess I have seen you in many... compromising situations" she noted guiltily. "With your kind of luck it's inevitable, I fear."

"You should at least try" sneered Ranma. "Unless you want to make a habit of flashing people like that" she added, although she regretted it instantly. Akane was already glowing a dark red.

"Well, excuse me for not being enough to turn you on!" she shouted, punching a hole at the wall Ranma was walking on and forcing her to leap down to street level as a whole section collapsed.

"That's what you think!" she shouted back, a second before her own hand snapped to cover her wayward mouth.

Akane's anger wouldn't have evaporated faster if she had mastered the Soul of Ice. "You... you really meant that?" she asked, her eyes wide as she slowly approached her currently female fiancée.

Ranma was beginning to panic, seeing as Akane had entered her extremely cute mode that would readily fry his mind. Almost paralyzed before her currently huge and apparently sparkling brown eyes, she took a step back, her back encountering a wall. "I.. um, that is... you see..." she tried unintelligently.

Akane knew at an intellectual level that they were both girls at the moment, that her face was currently way too close to Ranma, that Ranma's words were far from an admission of love and that her fiancée would freak out if she kept being so forward anyway. She also didn't give a damn at that point. She would kiss Ranma this time. Before she lost her sudden courage and before someone could interrupt them like so many other times, she would...

'Ring-ring!'

- - -

She outdid herself this time, she decided after tasting her ramen. While Shampoo regarded cooking as merely a hobby, she was still proud to be so good at it. She quickly prepared two bowls, then checked around to make sure nobody was watching. Producing a tiny vial she spilled half of its contents to each bowl. She decided against drinking her own portion yet, in case the effects ended before she could spot Ranma. She also made sure her extra vial was safely hidden in her weapon space. After all, she knew how bad luck could get in Nerima.

At least she thought she knew.

Quickly securing each bowl with a lid, she placed them in a delivery box and jumped on her bike. Riding a bicycle from rooftop to rooftop was an art by itself and by now Shampoo had it mastered. Hardly thinking about her path, she followed an almost straight line towards the Tendo estate. What she did not expect was encountering Ranma on her way and away from his normal route.

In girl form.

Leaning on a wall.

With the thrice damned kitchen destroyer entirely too close.

_How dare she do that with my husband,_ she thought furiously, letting a sigh as she remembered Ranma had never acknowledged their marriage that was thus hollow. Still, she couldn't let what was going on below keep on. Ringing her bell, she leaped in the air, aiming for Akane's head with her front wheel.

- - -

Akane muttered a curse usually encountered in dock bars at Friday nights as both she and Ranma leaped out of the way to avoid Shampoo's bike from hell. She was angry, furious, totally enraged. The moment had yet again been ruined. Perhaps she should just ambush every meddle one night and tie them to their beds. Then she could kidnap Ranma and hide in some abandoned mine. That should get them a couple minutes. Breathing heavily, she managed to hide her mood behind a frown severe enough to spoil milk.

Ranma felt both angry and relieved. She wasn't sure if Akane was ready to actually kiss her or exclaim a 'gotcha' and poke her at the nose. Ranma, who was so very proficient reading her opponents, decided she would never figure the other girl. She winced at Akane's frown. Perhaps she **was** going to kiss her. Driving that thought away, she turned to regard Shampoo. It was never good to let your guard down around the amazon and she had to make sure her displeasure about Shampoo's attitude in Phoenix Mountain was properly expressed without endangering Akane's safety.

"Nihao airen" exclaimed the amazon bubbly, even though she was still seething inside. "Xian Pu brought you too too wonderful ramen. No want you to starve because of too too nasty cooking."

Ranma regarded the food wearily. "It wouldn't happen to have any 'special' ingredients, would it?"

Shampoo held back a frown. She had anticipated that after all. "Xian Pu promise no love potions or mushrooms in this time." It was true, after all. After the red thread fiasco it had taken a long time for Ranma to warm up to her again. A mental communication potion was much tamer in comparison. "Xian Pu even brought two bowls. Ranma choose one and Xian Pu eats other first."

Ranma was apparently convinced, as she went to reach for a bowl. Akane that stopped him apparently was not. "What if it is a love potion and she has taken the antidote?" she asked, not bothering to hide her mistrust. "Perhaps I should eat the second bowl. That is, unless there is actually something in it Shampoo doesn't want me to eat" she added, now smirking.

The amazon frowned. This was not going according to the plan. Before conjuring a way to stop Akane, Ranma did it for her.

"But what if it is some kind of poison, Akane? Perhaps she knew you were going to suggest that."

Shampoo was torn between feeling happy her airen thought she could be so smart and angry Ranma would think she would try something that devious. She was also angry she hadn't thought that before...

Akane frowned. "Oh, come on. Shampoo would never risk poisoning you like that. Other times you would just grab the bowl and clean it in seconds."

Her fiancée smirked cockily. "So what? I have developed a huge tolerance to poison ever since I came in Nerima. It could kill you and only make me sick for a day or two."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she exclaimed dangerously.

At that point, Shampoo was getting annoyed at being ignored like that. She knew from experience that it was not healthy to get between the couple while they were bickering, since the usual collateral damage was largely targeted at random.

"Xian Pu thinks..." she started, but was interrupted by her airen.

"Well think about it" retaliated the redhead with a gleeful expression hardly fitting her cute features. "Between Kodachi's powders, Shampoo's crazy herbs and your toxic attempts one would need a damn potent poison to get me."

If Akane had been holding a rock, it would have been reduced to powder by now. "You don't have to remind me how bad a cook I am!" she shouted defiantly. "Besides I haven't tried to give you any of my food for ages."

Ranma scowled, crossing her hands under her bosom. "I can't express how happy I am for **that** fact."

"Airen should..."

By that point Akane was feeling pretty vindictive. "Oh yeah? Perhaps I should start again. Practice makes perfect, they say" she declared, smiling wickedly.

Her fiancée frowned. "Threatening me will get you nowhere, you should know" she replied defensively.

"Pervert kitchen destroyer will..."

Akane smirked at that. "Who said anything about feeding you? Next time Ryouga comes by I'll make sure to fix him a snack."

"You leave pig-brain out of this, you hear me?" snapped Ranma annoyed.

"Oh, what's the matter? Could it be that you are jealous Ranma?" she asked mirthfully. Akane was aware that her fiancée was frequently victim to the green-eyed monster of jealousy. Like herself, Ranma just couldn't help it.

The pig-tailed girl laughed loudly, although it sounded decidedly fake. "Why would I be jealous of who you poison, tomboy? It's just that I wouldn't wish such punishment even on my worst enemy."

"Ayiah! You two too too..."

"Sure you wouldn't. You should remember you are not a good liar Ranma" she said smugly.

"Is that so? A certain uncute fiancée of mine seems to frequently think otherwise."

"Don't flatter yourself. I have better things to do than constantly think about you."

"You mean you can actually help not to? My heart will be forever scarred."

"Then you'll have to deal with it, mister big-shot."

"Oh yeah?"

"But airen! Xian..."

"Yeah! What are you going to do about that? Beat me up?"

"That's usually the job of violent tomboys."

"Perhaps you can't take it anymore then. What happened to the best martial artist shtick?"

"Feh! I could take whatever you throw at me any day."

"Oh yeah?"

"Hell yeah!"

By that point, Akane and Ranma were both leaning forward, their noses almost touching. If Shampoo weren't at that point nigh homicidally enraged at being ignored like that, she would have thought they were about to kiss each other. It wouldn't be far from the truth either, although none of the two martial artists involved knew that. Despite the harsh words, they were privately enjoying their little game, although one wouldn't catch them dead admitting as much.

"LISTEN TO XIAN PU!!"

The indigent cry interrupted the staring contest between Ranma and Akane and caused them to snap their laser-like glares at the amazon. After all, they were enjoying having an excuse to look at each other's eyes too much.

"WHAT?" they demanded in unison. Shampoo resisted the urge to gulp and took a deep breath. At long last she had their attention and would get Ranma to eat her ramen. Nothing could go wrong anymore.

'O-ho-ho-ho-ho'

- - -

Kodachi Kuno was not nearly as delusional as most of Nerima's residents would think. Unlike Ranma's other suitors, she knew very well that the pig-tailed martial artist barely tolerated her and had even admitted that to him during the white Lily incident. No, Kodachi knew she had no chance with Ranma.

Yet, Ranma had been the only one to ever treat her nicely, not because of her money or status but simply for the sake of being nice. And even after that he would rarely become angry or ignore her. For the younger Kuno, that was more than she ever had in her life. In a twisted way, she thought of Ranma as a friend. She would become his girlfriend any day, but it was pretty obvious he was infatuated with the Tendo girl.

Still, even negative attention was enough for Kodachi, who had grown up to be so lonely. It was really all a big funny prank for her, even though her methods were quite heavy-handed. Of course, if she ever managed to gain his affection, she would hardly complain.

Following Ranma's distinct magic signature, Kodachi quickly pinpointed him, currently her. The Kuno family had an uncanny gift for seeing the unseen. That was the main reason her brother would call Ranma a sorcerer and accuse him of casting spells on his 'pig-tailed goddess'. Kodachi, more versed in the magical world then her brother and more receptive of reality, had suspected the truth. Hiring a couple detectives and idly asking around made her accept the facts her brother would ardently dismiss. Ranma had an advanced polymorph curse that turned him into the redhead.

While Kodachi had been shocked at first, she soon realized the possibilities attached to such a curse. The Kuno girl loved experimenting. The ball bomb she was currently holding, for example, contained a tear-inducing poison extracted from one of her greenhouse's rare plants, along with a special agent that would turn it from liquid to breathable gas.

The bomb went flying and she started her trademark laugh just before it exploded in one of the ramen bowls held by the Chinese amazon. Kodachi never noticed the gas cloud left behind changed from the usual green to an unexpected purple...

- - -

Shampoo was ready to go medieval on Kodachi's behinds. Her plan was in tatters as soon as that ball had exploded. She had leaped out of the way, making sure to go against the wind and avoid the poisonous cloud, then she had retrieved a bonbori and her sword from hidden weapon space. No mercy for the bitch, she decided, as she started following the Kuno girl that was more than happy to lead her on a marry chase around Nerima and neighboring wards.

Ranma and Akane were not so lucky. The redhead had only managed to grab her fiancée and step away from the blast radius, but the wind made sure they inhaled the ominous fumes. They coughed for a while, resisting tears and exiting the cloud blindly.

Suddenly, Ranma experienced a nauseating feeling, then the same sense of displacement that would come to her the first days after getting her curse. She hesitantly opened her eyes and saw... herself gawking back.

Akane felt dizzy, wondering what the hell Kodachi had thrown at them this time. A second later, she felt better than ever before in her life. The same euphoria one gets when they know they can do everything. She opened her eyes... and gawked at her own body.

Both Ranma and Akane blinked twice, let a shout in unison and fell on their rear. Akane blinked again, while Ranma, the mighty godslayer, the bane of Chinese princes, the best martial artist of her generation decided that swapping bodies with her unwilling fiancée was a very valid reason to pass out.

- - -

20-03-07: Wow, this chapter became much larger than I thought it would. Writing Ranma and Akane like that was great fun for me, even if Akane has decided to keep her temper relatively down. I hope you enjoyed the interaction. In the manga, Kodachi says she knows Ranma only pities her. Of course, she then proceeds to try and kidnap him so that pity can bloom to love, but... yeah. As for Konatsu, he did fight Ranma very effectively, but he was doped and Ranma still thought he was a girl. Until next time, where Akane and Ranma try to deal with that new minor inconvenience.

A review per day keeps the author in play...


	9. To walk a mile or ten, part 1

Chapter 9: To walk a mile or ten, part 1

_Perception of the universe depends, by definition, on each spectator's point of view. Thus no truth can be absolute._

(A/N: When writing Akane's and Ranma's names, I'll be referring to their minds. Body specifics, including pronouns, will correspond to the bodies. )

- - -

Akane, still sitting on the ground, was desperately trying to come to terms with the situation. She took a couple of deep breaths, glancing at Ranma's prone form and wishing she had fainted like that too. She wasn't sure she could or wanted to deal with this new development. She stared at her hand, a hand smaller than her own and unfamiliar. She clenched and unclenched her fingers, marveling at the sensation, the pure power she could feel under her skin. It felt like the blood was singing in her veins, she decided. Ranma's body seemed to be in a constant state of sugar high by her standards. Pushing back envy and promising to herself she will one day reach and surpass that feeling with her own body, she reigned her determination and decided to do something more creative than simply lie around.

Rising to her feet, she almost swooned as Ranma's sharp senses assaulted her mind. She noted that Ranma's body had a weak version of chi vision permanently active. It took her some seconds to come to terms with the onslaught of information, but she soon found her center. Sighing, she leaned next to Ranma and regarded what was until recently her own body. Her hand moved reflexively and brushed one of the black-blue bangs out of Ranma's face, then froze as she realized what she was doing. Akane reached and griped Ranma's wrist, then recoiled in morbid fascination. She had only placed what seemed to her like moderate power and yet she had left distinct bruises on her former body's arm.

_Is this why Ranma doesn't like hitting me even while sparring_, she asked herself gulping. _I always say how I'm not made of china glass, but this..._

Akane shook her head. There would be time for contemplation later, she decided. For now, they had to return home. As gently as she could, she lifted the slightly larger body in bridal style, marveling at how light it felt. _And that jerk had the nerve to call me heavy... _Distracted, she looked around, remembered where she was and attempted to leap to the closest rooftop.

She was very surprised when she found herself twenty meters from the ground and upside-down. Letting a yelp of surprise, she only had time to shield Ranma's body and brace for impact. She felt the pain at her back as she reached the ground, then nothing. Blinking again, she stood on her feet, regarding the crater she had created on the tarmac, then bit her lip. No pain or damage whatsoever to her body. _What is this baka made of?_ She wondered incredulously. Sighing, she decided it would be safer to run the distance instead, lest she actually blundered and hurt her former body.

- - -

Shampoo had never killed a human in her life, but it was hardly because of lack of effort. As far as she was concerned this would change soon. After all, Kodachi Kuno was neither supernaturally powerful and elusive like Ranma nor would her death prove detrimental to her or her tribe's health like Akane's. However, as the amazon dodged another razor-edged hoop that tore at the roof below her, she admitted the gymnast was if nothing else talented. Kodachi had reached to the point where she was subconsciously using her chi, both to augment her body and to imbue her tools. Of course, without awareness and proper guidance she would be hard pressed to reach Shampoo's level. The problem was, the Black Rose's style was hit, distract and run, a natural enemy to the amazon's more direct and brutal technique.

Ducking a razor-sharp ribbon that severed a chimney in half, Shampoo rolled forward, trying to slash at the gymnast with her sword. Kodachi parried with a steel rod disguised as a rope, altering the blade's trajectory enough to jump out of harm's way. Shampoo snorted as she had to leap back pretty fast to avoid the same chimney that had been yanked by the ribbon and thrown right where her head used to be.

The amazon muttered a curse in mandarin. She knew that particular parry very well as she had been both at the giving and at the receiving end of it. Everybody seemed keen to incorporate Anything-goes in their style these days. She, Mousse and Ukyo had been forced to make changes here and there in their personal forms, as challenge upon challenge would rear its ugly head. Ryouga was practically an adept of the style after all that time and now even Kuno and his sister were picking tricks here and there.

Narrowing her brows, Shampoo channeled her chi in her bonbori, then sent forth a small chi blast. It was nowhere near the madness powerhouses like Ranma and Ryouga would unleash but it was enough to overwhelm Kodachi. The gymnast, with no time to dodge, crossed two clubs in an 'X' fashion and intercepted the attack. It still smashed through the tools and hit her just above the diaphragm, although it was weakened enough to only smack her in a wall behind her instead of burning through her. Grunting, the Black Rose regained her wits and threw a smoke bomb, then another razor hoop. Shampoo sensed it coming despite the smokescreen and leaped in the air, high enough to somersault above the smoke cloud.

Kodachi smirked. She knew she was no match for the other seasoned warrior in a straightforward fight, but tricks were her middle name. Shampoo's eyes went wide as a ribbon wrapped around her ankle, then yelped as the club that was tied at its end bounced on her skin. It would have been a minor inconvenience, if not for the spikes that shot out a second later and grazed her leg. Still in the air, she tried to correct her fall, then dismissed her sword in hidden weapon space. Charging her hand with life energy, she knifed at the ribbon, severing it without cutting her skin. Landing casually, she cringed as the gymnast voiced her hideous laugh then tried to run away leaving a trail of black petals. Shampoo attempted to follow, but found her body was heavy. In horror, she realized the club's spikes had been poisoned. Not losing a second, she let her mind elapse into a special meditative technique that would slowly purge most harmful substances from her body. When she looked again, the Kuno girl was out of her sight.

Shampoo sighed. Perhaps she should try again tomorrow with the same potion. For today she had had enough of the training life in Nerima entrails and it was only early afternoon.

- - -

Ranma tried to return to awareness but it felt like having to swim though quicksand to reach there. Everything felt wrong, her mind warned. She slowly opened her eyes, sighing in relief as she realized she was inside the Tendo Dojo and not on the bed of some rich weirdo. That last occurrence had been happening often enough as it was. She noticed in disbelief there was another person inside the building, one her chi senses failed to indicate. That person was running through a simple yet intense kata she recognized as part of the basic Anything-goes style. As the fog left her mind, Ranma's eyes went wide.

"Who are you!" she demanded, jumping to her feet and assuming a battle stance. What seemed like her female form snapped her attention to her then sighed in relief.

"It's me, Ranma. It seems things started going crazy again."

Her eyes went wide. "Akane?" she breathed in disbelief. "Wha-why do you look like me?"

The neo-redhead sighed again. "We somehow switched bodies Ranma" she clarified hesitantly. She was mentally shouting to herself not to panic. From what her newfound senses indicated, Ranma was quickly spiraling into shock.

Ranma felt the world around her spinning, apparently intent to give her a bad case of motion sickness. She absently thought how the world was out to get her as she swooned and collapsed against the dojo wall. Akane shook her head and rushed to her side. "Come on, Ranma, don't faint on me again" she muttered testily.

"Guys... don't... faint" she muttered haltingly. "They pass out."

Akane rolled her eyes. "That would be fine and all, only you are currently a girl, Ranma."

That snapped the formerly pig-tailed martial artist out of her stupor. "Oh shit! I'm a girl. I'm a girl! I'm a GIRL!!!" she babbled frantically.

Akane tapped her on the head, not sure how much force to use. She winced as her fiancée let a pained groan. "Really, Ranma. You needed to get control of my body to realize I'm a girl?" she asked idly, biting her lip.

"Nope, I learned that from day one" she muttered, missing the actual significance of Akane's words.. Before Akane could even think of growing angry, Ranma focused on the situation at hand again. "But that's not the point! The problem is I'm a girl!!"

Her fiancée felt an overwhelming urge to start smashing cinder blocks... with her head. "Stop saying it over and over like a damn mantra. You've been changing to a girl for two and a half years. You even had to stay in female form at times."

"But then I knew my body was within reach. This body is full girl! And what gives you the right to be so calm about it! I bet it's the larger boobs or something..."

Akane had to squelch the urge to drive her former body through the floor. "You forget I've been in the body of a doll twice. After that this is no big deal" she retaliated, grinding her teeth.

"Wait till you hit hot water, then talk" came the murmur as Ranma impulsively hugged her own small frame.

Akane decided Ranma was too frantic to reason with for now. She briskly walked out of the dojo. "I'm going for a walk. When you stop **acting** like a girl, I'll come back so that we might solve this mess."

Ranma decided he had hyperventilated enough and lost himself inside the soul of ice, deep enough to fill the dojo's interior with white mist. She spent some minutes meditating like that, letting a relieved sigh as she returned to normal awareness. The problem was still there, but now Ranma felt ready to deal with it.

As she jumped to her feet and stretched, a sudden thought crashed in her mind. "She is going for a walk" she muttered, recalling Akane's words. "While wearing my body... In Nerima..."

Ranma was out running before her mind could fully appreciate the severity of the situation. A second later, when it did, she decided to push Akane's body to its limits. Ranma couldn't let her fiancée get herself killed, after all, especially when her own body was also involved.

- - -

As soon as Akane left the Tendo estate, her worries seemed to vanish. She couldn't rightly describe the feeling , but it was very close to exhilaration. She had recently learned to recognize and consciously use her chi, although Ranma was constantly egging her to improve her control. In her own body, the life energy usually felt like a mass of warm air just below her lungs. In Ranma's body it felt like seething magma, ready to jump and flood the world at her whim.

"Ranma was right, I shouldn't feel so happy about this" she muttered guiltily. Guilt, however, failed to prevent her from jumping from rooftop to rooftop like a superball, missing a landing more often than not and leaving small craters to her wake, dismissing the brief pain. Akane felt the urge to start giggling in glee as she performed acrobatics she up to then believed to be physically impossible.

Her mirth was cut short when her new and ten times more intense danger sense compelled her to dodge to the left. She cringed as a reinforced red umbrella reduced a wall to dust. The figure of a man came out of the resulting cloud.

"Ranma, prepare to die!"

- - -

01-04-07: This chapter is a bit smaller than usual, although if I did a decent job, you shouldn't have noticed until now. I feel the shampoo-kodachi battle should have been longer, but I didn't want to focus too much on them. I sure hope my little cliffhanger can keep you interested until next time.

Remember: reviewing is as high an art as writing fiction. Feel free to create art by pushing the small button below...


	10. To walk a mile or ten, part 2

Chapter 10: To walk a mile or ten, part 2

_If things can go bad in Nerima, they will go bad in the most improbable and chaotic way possible._

_-Modified Murphy's law_

_Things not going bad is considered an improbability and thus can happen._

_-Addendum to modified Murphy's law._

- - -

"Ranma, prepare to die!"

Akane had heard this particular cry many times before and yet she only now started realizing the lost boy actually and sincerely meant it. The realization was delivered quite bluntly when she saw a lightning-fast fist trying to cave her face in. Still flatfooted, she half dodged out of the way, half blocked with her forearm. The deceptively simple attack merely clipped her arm. It was still strong enough to launch her off her feet and towards a stone fence that crumbled around her.

"That actually hurt quite a bit" she muttered under her breath, leaping to her feet fast and cringing as a chi-imbued bandana whizzed past her neck. Her eyes went wide as it traveled in an arc, embedding in a wall just before it could behead an innocent bystander that had dropped his briefcase and was currently busy hyperventilating.

Ryouga either missed or ignored that detail. "Stop running around like that!" he bellowed, wielding his umbrella like a rapier and attempting to skewer the Tendo girl.

Akane leaped backwards as fast as she could manage and almost injured her own neck as inertia had other designs. She landed haphazardly on a three-story high roof and tried to regain her bearings. Ryouga's words chose that moment to register in her mind. _Run around. That's it! Ranma always runs around at first when he has to fight Ryouga. Usually at a park or empty lot. Of course! It's to protect the rest of Nerima!_

Akane realized that fact just as her opponent decided to abide to the general rule that states that the shortest way between two points is a straight line. That rule, being general, fails to take into consideration any obstacles in-between. But then of course Ryouga also fails to consider most obstacles as such. Leaping in the air, the lost boy smashed through the building's wall and roof tiles like a missile, missing Akane by a hair's width. The displaced girl saw her chance and leaped to the adjacent building, soon picking up a tempo and leading her pursuer to a merry chase along Nerima's scenic route.

The Tendo girl hoped Ryouga would get lost in the way and spare her from engaging in combat with what she knew was a much better opponent. What she failed to consider was that as long as Ryouga had 'Ranma' in his sight and chi-senses, it would be very difficult to get lost. It should also be noted that Akane Tendo is not a paragon of patience. Therefore, it should not come as a surprise when after a while she stopped running and stood still waiting for her foe in the middle of a thankfully deserted park.

Ryouga did not disappoint, emerging through the ground like a mole seconds later by means of a breaking point. "Now you have nowhere to run, Ranma," he exclaimed, failing to grasp the fact that the park was open from all sides. Sides rarely added up for Ryouga anyway. Discarding his umbrella and backpack, he closed in.

A smart idea came to Akane at that point. If she could distract Ryouga long enough, she might be able to start a real conversation with him. Perhaps she could even learn why on earth Ryouga and Ranma fought that much. The youngest Tendo was not naive enough to think a bread feud and some insults qualified for a real reason. A gut feeling would frequently hint the answer is right before her eyes, but up to that point truth eluded her.

A determined Akane is a very dangerous person...

"So, why are we fighting again?" she asked, as casually as possible.

The question only seemed to infuriate Ryouga more. "Why should I need a special reason to fight you?" he demanded, launching a clumsy attack. Akane contemplated to attempt an overhead throw, but decided against it. Even if the lost boy was not baiting her, she wasn't confident enough in Ranma's body. Ryouga went on, however. "Not only have I seen hell because of you, you had to go and commit your crimes against Akane-san!"

Akane realized relived that her plan was working. She was still hard-pressed to dodge everything the lost boy was throwing at her, but thankfully he was not really trying. Her curiosity was even more piqued, though. "What 'crimes' are you talking about?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

"Don't bother to lie, Ranma. I heard all about it from reliable sources. You abandoned Akane-san on the aisle and went to mess around with your other fiancées. One of your classmates told me everything."

"Classmates?" she inquired, leaping above and behind Ryouga in a barely conscious dodge. She was slowly learning that even if she didn't know how to fight such an opponent, Ranma's body did. She just had to relax and stop trying to go against its instincts.

In the meanwhile, Ryouga was puzzled. By that point, Ranma should have stopped talking and should have started fighting seriously. "Yeah, I think I've seen him before. Scrawny and pale like death, black circles around the eyes and carries a straw doll around."

_Gosunguki! Reliable sources my ass. _"It wasn't like that. The wedding never even started and it was all our fathers' idea. We only learned it at the last minute!"

The reasoning passed right through Ryouga's mind and touched nothing. "Enough with your feeble excuses. When I heard about the wedding, I decided to step aside, but you blew your chance! I can't believe I even thought of forgiving you for giving me this wretched cursed body."

Akane was lost, having no clue what he was talking about. "What do you mean step aside? And I know your curse is hereditary" she wanted to add more questions, but could only gasp as Ryouga attacked in earnest, delivering a kick she only partially blocked and sending her staggering backwards.

Ryouga was more or less on autopilot by now. "Today I will defeat you and claim Akane-san for myself!" he exclaimed, mostly talking to himself.

That caught Akane completely off guard. The body she was currently occupying, though, had other designs stored in somatic memory. She absently noted her one foot funneling chi towards the ground and latching firmly, while her other leg came upwards faster than she could follow. Between the force behind the attack and the impromptu leverage she had gained, Akane's kick caught Ryouga right at the forehead and send him flying head-first towards a tree trunk. The tree trunk had no hope to remain intact.

The Tendo girl was too involved to gawk at the technique she had somehow just used. "What do you mean claim Akane for yourself?" she demanded.

Ryouga jumped to his feet as if he had not just reduced a tree to toothpicks. He decided Ranma was a bit off balance today. Perhaps he could gain an advantage by angering him, as the pig-tailed martial artist would often do. "Did you really think Akane-san has any feelings for a loser like you? She only pitied you so that you may get the Nanniichuan water" he answered, smirking in elation as he noticed 'Ranma' seemed stunned.

Akane was stunned all right. This was too much to digest at once. Did that mean she and Ranma were in the same boat. Would Ryouga feed her fiancé such lies all the time when they were alone? What right did her so-called friend have to say something like that? Could it be that Ranma was-heavens forbid-insecure? Too many emotions, too little time, a voice in her head noted as she subconsciously evaded a double kick.

Ryouga decided to go for what he thought would be the 'coup de grace'. "You almost failed Akane at Jusendo, Ranma. A delicate flower like her needs someone like me to protect and love her."

Akane blinked. There were at least three things wrong in that statement, she decided instantly. Her mind went blank, however, when two specific words were repeated in her mind, their meaning sinking in. "Delicate... flower..." she intoned incredulously. _HOW DARE HE!_

Akane resisted valiantly for a whole second, but her mental defenses were already low. To her credit, she didn't go berserk. Instead, using what her spars with Ranma had taught her, she exploded into a fit of tightly contained anger. She decided to prove, if only to herself, that 'delicate flowers' can be perfectly omnivorous.

- - -

As Mousse kept leaping from rooftop to rooftop, he decided that if he went on sighing like he had been doing today, it would deteriorate to a tic. Even though he knew he had nullified Shampoo's potion, he still had a feeling something was wrong. As soon as he learned his life's love had left searching for Ranma, carrying an order of ramen nonetheless, he had decided to follow and monitor the situation. Unfortunately, between his bad eyesight and the fact that while he was fast, Shampoo on a bike was faster, he had lost her. Then his luck had decided to deal him a Hibiki and he had gotten hopelessly lost somewhere in the outskirts of Nerima.

At first he had tried to find his way back on his own. Standard procedure really. Go a street back, a couple streets forward, futilely try to get your bearings from the highest roof, get lost some more then finally swallow your pride and ask for directions. Mousse had entered that last phase when he decided to enter a bar. Since it was still afternoon, only a couple of patrons were in. The amazon decided he might as well order something before asking. He guessed that by now Shampoo's plan would have either succeeded or failed. His presence would be redundant.

Letting the old ghoul without help was an added bonus.

Mousse felt his way up the barstool and ordered a cup of sake. The bartender shot him an inquisitive glance, then complied. He was ready to down the beverage when he heard a voice coming from beside him.

"Well, I'll be. What are you doing here sugar?"

Mousse raised a brow and turned towards the voice, valiantly trying to make out the owner. Disgusted with himself, he retrieved a pair of glasses from his robes and tried again. "Kuonji Ukyo" he exclaimed. "It is a small world, as they say."

Ukyo snorted. "That was a lame pick up line, Mousse. Why don't you try again."

The amazon noticed a slight slur in her voice. "You are drunk" he noted.

The okonomiyaki chef shook her head. "Nope, not yet but I'm getting there. Believe me, sugar, you'll tell right away when I'm drunk."

Mousse sighed and tried his cup. "You seem to be awfully anxious to get drunk" he noted, examining the rest of his drink. "You are insane to start from so early" he added, eventually finishing and asking for another cup.

Ukyo regarded her own glass, appeasing it as if it were made of gold. "I was never in the sane boat, Mousse. The man I hunted for ten years gave me a silly compliment and I fell in love. Again. And now I'm afraid I botched his friendship, too. Ranchan was mightily pissed off over the explosives. How's that for sane?" she asked swallowing her glass's contents in a single gulp.

The amazon rubbed his chin. "I wouldn't know. I fell in love when I was three. At least you are friends with Ranma. I'm lucky if Xian notices I'm in the room. And they call me blind."

Ukyo giggled as Mousse emptied his second cup, promptly ordering a third. "At least Ranchan cares about Shampoo even less than he cares about me. An instant water cat and an ailourophobic? You have nothing to worry about. It's always about Akane, you know. Little miss shrew had him around her finger from day one. Doesn't even know it, either."

After upending the third drink, Mousse started feeling tipsy. "You think Ranma is better than her? He's just as clueless. I'm jealous, you know."

Ukyo let a single sob, then grinned. "Don't tell me 'bout jealousy, jackass. Jealousy got me in this mess. I'm so much of a bitch I even yelled to poor Konatsu. What the hell does Akane have that I don't, anyway? I can bash people too."

The amazon shook his head to clear it. "Does Ranma like pain? Many fighters are like that. I know I like it even when Xian hurts me. I'm one sick puppy" he replied, now also slurring. "This place's nice..."

"I tried even that, sugar. No damn effect. This place's nice cause they don't ask for any ID. If you have the yen, you get the Zen. I sure hope you can pay for these" she noted, indicating the ever-growing pile of cups.

Mousse simply nodded and resumed drinking.

- - -

Ryouga had great respect for his gut feelings. Even when his other senses, mundane, chi based or directional failed him, gut feelings never did. Currently, he felt that something was very very wrong with 'Ranma'.

"Delicate... flower..."

The lost boy shuddered at that. Even with Ranma in female form, he could almost taste the savage emotions behind the repetition. When a large battle aura appeared around her body, he decided it was time to get worried. Ranma rarely let his chi run so rampant and the color was wrong. Instead of the usual confidence blue, the great corona was a deep crimson.

While Ryouga intended to anger his opponent to unbalance him, he certainly didn't expect such a reaction. Ranma would rarely fight with real anger. He would seem angry or mad but he would always stay in control.

Lost in his reverie, the lost boy barely dodged the first punch Akane threw at him. It was much slower than usual, he noted. Then his eyes went wide as he felt blood running down his cheek just as one of the park benches behind him exploded. Akane was also stunned. She knew that in her original body her blows would generate enough air pressure to occasionally damage the dojo walls but this was ridiculous. Her anger vanished at the thought of what would have happened to Ryouga if that hit had connected. Surely she was still confused and angry about her 'friend's' words and wanted to hurt him, but had no intent to injure him that much. There were limits to the protection granted by the breaking point conditioning.

Ryouga, on the other hand, had no such qualms. Seeing as 'Ranma' was apparently distracted, he gathered his strength and tried for a powerful uppercut that would break even Ranma's jaw if it connected. Akane noticed the attack too late to dodge or even block. She could only watch horrified as the fist reached centimeters from her chin... then stopped as a flash of light came from behind her opponent.

"Wha..?" she managed, just as Ranma appeared out of thin air, cursing and blowing air at her blackened fingers.

"Even if I stuffed you in a bottle, you'd still find a way to get into trouble, wouldn't you tomboy?" she asked, causing Akane to glower. She decided to ignore the comment in favor for other, more nagging matters.

"What happened to you and what did you do to him?" she asked, secretly awed. Ranma had just dropped Ryouga while in her body with a single strike after all.

Ranma shrugged. "I used the Umisenken to sneak behind him, then pressed his Takahashi sleep point. He'll wake up in a while." At that point she frowned, regarding the tips of her fingers. "Problem is, Ryouga has chi shields thicker than the Great Wall of China. I had to channel more chi through your fingers than your body is used to. You're welcome, by the way."

"I... I would have won" she declared, although her voice was a bit meeker than she'd like. "But thanks anyway" she added, discarding her pride for a second. After that, her eyes went wide. "You mean my body has enough chi to use the Umisenken?" she asked incredulously.

Ranma sighed. "The Umisenken is about control, Akane. It hardly uses your own energy. Instead you 'ask' the rest of the world to hide you. And while I can't start running around lobbing chi balls right front and center, your body has a lot of chi. Nowhere near mine, of course." At that point, Ranma's mouth turned to a smirk. "It's mostly your control that sucks" she added, dodging a half-hearted swing from Akane.

"You are very lucky I don't want to injure my body" she grumbled as they both left Ryouga behind and started walking home. "Ranma" she went on after a period of silence. "What is the real reason you and Ryouga-kun fight all the time?" she asked calmly.

Ranma almost stumbled at that. "You know, the bread feud, the insults..." she blurted, laughing nervously.

The now pig-tailed girl shook her head. Ranma had become no better at keeping a poker face. "Come on, Ranma. Even before I heard what he said today, I knew there is more to it."

Ranma was at the verge of panicking. "You talked to him? While he thought I was you? Don't believe anything he said!" she responded, talking frantically.

Her fiancée sighed. "I mean, I knew he had a crush on me, but I thought he has Akari now," she said, frowning as Ranma's eyes went wide. "Of course I knew he has a crush on me. I've known ever since the breaking point disaster. How dense do you think I am?"

Ranma did not answer that, deciding for once that discretion was the better part of valor. The conversation was around too sensitive matters and he was determined to keep his mouth doubly checked.

Akane would not let it rest, however. "Can it be that the two of you have been fighting for my shake?" she asked slyly. She had already determined that to be at least partially true, but after seeing Ranma's reaction, who started running around her like a headless chicken, she became certain. Part of her was appalled for being regarded as a prize, but she also couldn't help feeling gratified. She could use such a confidence boost any day.

"No, it's not like that at all. Why would I want to do something like that for an uncute tomboy like you? I...I only try to protect pig-boy from you. Pig boy... protect... that's all."

Akane ignored the denial, unable to keep her triumphant smile in check. It did not last, however, as she recalled something else that had been bugging her the whole time. "But what did you have to do with Ryouga's curse?" she inquired, thinking hard.

This time Ranma fell face first on the ground. "You know about his curse?" she gasped, eyes wide.

Akane shot him a curious glance. Why wouldn't she know? Only because of magic can someone become lost in a room with one door or teleport around the world at random. "Of course I know about his curse. I'm neither stupid nor blind. So spill, what's the matter?"

As most of Ranma's brain struggled to find an answer, a small part of him wondered why pig boy was still alive. She also wondered, betrayed, if Akane enjoyed having Ryouga shoved between her breasts. And if she would mind if Ranma took his place...

- - -

18-04-07: And this concludes chapter 10. While I don't really hate Ryouga and while there are times he really shines, I'm still peeved with some of the shit he pulls in both manga and anime. I haven't even started with him yet 'insert insane laughter here'. One of the main problems between Ranma and Akane is lack of empathy. While they work a lot on it, both in the original story and here, misunderstandings have a lot of plot potential. As for the Ukyo/Mousse part, I'm not sure where it came from. I haven't really planned to have them together. Yet. They might as well end up as mere drinking buddies. Special thanks to Alex Ultra for submitting this story's best review up to date. Yes I have thought of everything he mentions. The first chapter does need an overhaul, but what doesn't...

Remember: most things never get finished. They are just abandoned. Make sure to abandon a review on your way to the back button. I'll take good care of it.


	11. Encounters of the amazon kind

Chapter 11: Encounters of the amazon kind

_History teaches that in__ most circumstances, keeping silent is less damaging than blurting something harmful. Now we only have to start learning from history. _

- - -

"Of course I know about his curse. I'm neither stupid nor blind. So spill, what's the matter?"

"It wasn't my fault! The idiot got lost and stepped in my way. I didn't even know he was there in the first place. I would have helped him if I knew that he'd turn..." Ranma stopped talking as soon as she noticed Akane's very puzzled features. "You don't have any idea what I'm talking about, do you?" she asked gloomily.

Akane blinked a couple of times, then furrowed her brows in deep thought. "So, from what you are both telling me, you accidentally gave Ryouga another curse, right?" she deduced at length, very happy with herself.

Ranma really felt like an idiot. "What curse were you talking about?" she blurted, hardly thinking.

"The directional, of course" she shot back, then proceeded to smile in triumph. "What curse were **you** talking about Ranma?" she asked slyly.

Said martial artist proceeded to prove once more that regardless of form she could not outrightly lie when nervous. "Ah... you know... that is... of course I also meant the directional" she replied, following what passed for her sentence with an extremely nervous laugh.

Akane regarded her through half-lidded eyes. "Now I'm totally convinced" she followed, her words dripping sarcasm. "I'm going to find out sooner or later, you know. Just tell me what's the matter. I might be able to help him somehow."

"I don't know what you're talking about" came the response and Akane raised a brow. She could detect no lie in her voice this time, no nervousness or agitation.

The currently pigtailed Tendo girl kept walking next to her former body, whose eyes were turned away. "So you have nothing to do with whatever curse Ryouga was talking about" she asked again, not caring about the answer but wanting to check a theory.

"That's right, nothing at all" came the reply, delivered as calmly as possible.

Not losing a second, Akane snapped to her side, moving as fast as she could and clasping both of Ranma's shoulders. With a jerk, she twisted her former body on the spot, causing Ranma's bewildered eyes to meet hers. They were eyes filled with an unearthly amber glow.

"You are using the Soul of Ice to lie!" she exclaimed, partly satisfied her suspicion was correct, partly awed at the technique's vast array of uses. "Now I know this is important! I also know it has something to do with me." In reality, Akane had no idea whether the last statement was correct. She figured it could be a possibility and decided to bluff and fish for information.

Ranma sighed. "Sorry Akane, but I don't want to break a promise, even if you do have a right to know."

_Gotcha!_ "So I really **do** need to know" she laughed, prompting Ranma to slap a hand on her forehead. "You can't hide from me!"

"I'm not talking about this anymore. Nope, not a word" muttered Ranma dispirited. "I made a promise."

Akane rubbed her nose in contemplation. "How about a hint?" she asked playfully.

"No!" bellowed Ranma, shuddering as she saw the cute pout on what used to be her own face.

"Please?"

"No way. I've given you more than enough hints. Besides we are almost there."

Akane was confused for a second. She had concentrated on the conversation and completely missed where they were walking to. She now realized they were nearing the Nekohanten. "Why are we here Ranma?" she inquired, not too anxious to enter amazon 'territory'.

The currently taller girl sighed. "If anyone can help it's Cologne. And I have a sneaking suspicion Shampoo's ramen was not so innocent after all. Kodachi dabbles with herbs and chemicals but our condition is magical in origin."

Akane accepted that, putting aside the previous conversation to Ranma's great relief. "I think we should try to keep it secret as much as possible" she proposed and Ranma nodded in accord.

- - -

Cologne felt them from a hundred meters away. Even though Ranma was taking great pains to conceal his real strength, she had still learned to sense and recognize whatever he would let through. The amazon elder regarded her heir, debating what she should do. Shampoo seemed like a wreck for some reason, only a shadow of her usual bubbly self. The absence of Mousse meant the two of them had to work more, too. Fortunately, the evening rush had yet to start. In the end, Cologne decided to do the usual.

"Xian Pu, son in law and Akane are heading this way. Will you wait or go ahead and greet them?" she asked gently.

Shampoo seemed to come out of a trance. At first she frowned, then her features mellowed and she nodded. "Xian Pu go greet husband. Too too happy airen comes here" she exclaimed and Cologne marveled as life returned to her bleak face. Not waiting for a retort, the amazon maiden left the Nekohanten fast enough to leave a dust cloud in her wake.

Cologne sighed. "I only hope you can get over him before he chooses" she muttered, knowing very well what the chances for that were.

- - -

At first Ranma was confused when she realized she could sense Shampoo closing in. Every time the amazon was in collision course, she was invisible to her senses. She then remember the current situation and his head snapped towards Akane. At first she couldn't see it but as she concentrated more she detected a foreign chi manifestation. Now knowing what to look for, she blinked in awe at the display. A cone of energy started from the amazon's position and extended to completely engulf her former body.

Ranma smirked. Now that she had seen the technique, she would figure a counter within the next couple of days. It was really a lesser form of Umisenken, she noted, designed to make the user completely disinteresting to one person. Her smirk grew wider as she regarded Akane. _Now we'll see who lets whom hang all over them..._

Akane, completely oblivious to the amazon's approach, raised a brow at Ranma's gleeful smirk. Before she could comment, though, she was assaulted by something she had never sensed coming. That something wrapped itself around the displaced Tendo girl, its appendages close to choking her.

"Wo ai ni, airen" came the greeting and Akane's eyes went wide as Shampoo appeared out of thin air and started rubbing herself all over Akane's current body.

_Where the hell did she come from,_ she thought, still utterly stunned by the sudden appearance. The fact that she could only use a fraction of her lungs' capacity did noting to improve her cognitive abilities. Shampoo's actions were also quite distracting to say the least.

Ranma could barely stop herself from chuckling aloud, reduced to mere muffled giggles. Akane had accused her time and time again how she would willingly let the amazon 'hang all over' her. Ranma did note Shampoo's smug face, directed towards her, but she ignored it lest she let go and died laughing.

Akane did not miss the exchange. At first she blinked at her fiancée's apparent mirth but soon realized its source. After that she started growing angry, especially since Shampoo's ministrations kept growing in fervor. _How dare she do that to MY fiancée _her mind screamed. Glancing towards her former body though, caused her to snap out of it really fast. In Ranma's eyes she could clearly read the challenge. _So that's how you want it,_ she thought determined. _I'll get out of her grip without hurting her too much before you know it. _

At first she tried to squirm free. That proved a mistake, since it intensified what the amazon was already doing, exiting all the 'wrong' places on her body even more. Frowning, Akane attempted to push Shampoo away. A moan from said amazon and a snort of laughter from Ranma made her realize just on what her hands were. Embarrassed, angry and a bit envious, she quickly let go of the other girl's assets, throwing the evil eye towards Ranma that was red-faced by that point. Shampoo thought it was because 'Akane' was angry, but the real Akane knew better.

Even more determined, the Tendo girl decided to use plan C. Moving fast, she tried to trip Shampoo, hoping that loss of balance would cause her to let go. The amazon would have none of that, of course. As soon as she saw Akane's foot moving, she gripped at her even harder. Her legs left the ground and coiled around Akane's back, holding firmly while she used her body to jerk forward.

Akane was not ready for something like that. With only one leg to support both of them and with no time or mind to use any of Ranma's weird techniques, she found herself completely off balance and falling. She was even more stunned when the amazon caused both of them to spin in the air. Akane hit the ground hard with Shampoo right on top of her. There was no real pain involved, but the Tendo girl was still off guard and the amazon took advantage. Moving fast, Shampoo used her elbows to trap Akane's arms just as her knees trapped her legs. She then used a chi technique to firmly attach both of them to the ground, denying Akane the leverage she would need to shake her off. Finally, her hands firmly gripped Akane's ears, preventing her head from moving and her lips went to claim her 'airen's' lips.

Up until that moment, Ranma was perfectly content to sit back and enjoy the show. When Shampoo tried to kiss her former body, though, she felt a very distinct pang of jealousy. Even if it was her body involved, that was still Akane and nobody else would kiss Akane if she had anything to say about it. Ranma smirked, manifesting a blue-tinted mallet out of thin air. Instead of hitting something with it, though, she simply inserted its hilt between the two approaching mouths. Both Shampoo and Akane were stunned when they kissed something hard instead of each other's lips.

- - -

At first Shampoo had been puzzled. 'Ranma' was behaving differently today. Instead of sitting still and guarded, she was leaving all sorts of openings to her advances. She had soon shrugged and had taken advantage of said openings ruthlessly. By the time her lips met the warm mallet handle, she was already on cloud nine. Then the realization crashed in and the day's weariness came back with a vengeance. She had spent the whole morning sneaking around the Nekohanten to produce her potion, she had found Ranma and Akane 'making out', she had been ignored while they bickered, her plan had been thawed by a crazy gymnast, who she had failed to kill. Now she had lost her chance to kiss her airen, a rare commodity by her book.

Something in the amazon snapped as she produced twin bonbories out of hidden weapon space and attacked 'Akane'.

Ranma certainly did not expect an assault from Shampoo but she was hardly caught off guard. The amazon's quick and deadly one-two opening combo might have hit Akane but she effortlessly breezed around it. "Look Shampoo there is something you need to know" she started, only to stop when she had to duck and dodge both maces as they swung on irregular tracks. She somersaulted above the next swing and above Shampoo, only to skip backward to avoid yet another wide swing. The amazon finished her vicious about-face hard enough to crack the pavement, then closed her eyes and briefly concentrated.

"You really need to stop and listen" tried Ranma again, yelping as the twin bonbories became imbued with a layer of teal chi. Her eyes narrowed as Shampoo started thrusting both extremely heavy weapons at half-amaguriken speed. The young Saotome had to move really fast to dodge every single one of them.

In the meantime, Akane went from stunned to angry to concerned to impressed very fast. After nearly swallowing a mallet handle, she fully intended to shove it down Shampoo's throat. When Shampoo attacked Ranma, her first instinct was to try and save her fiancée. After all, she knew at an intellectual level that the amazon was stronger than she was. She stopped short when Ranma started dancing around the lightning-fast attacks like they were nothing.

Ranma, on the other hand, was growing angry. At first she had been thrilled to fight Shampoo like that. Being in a weaker than usual body allowed her to cut loose a bit more than the norm. When the amazon started using serious techniques, though, her brows narrowed. Ranma had no problem dodging, but Akane could have been seriously injured. The displaced Saotome had no delusions of what would happen to Akane's body should one of the hyper-charged bonbories catch her off guard. Deciding to finish this fast, she leaped towards Shampoo, her foot touching one bonbori and using it as a stepstone to jump again and behind the amazon. Shampoo rapidly spun around once more, sacrificing a bit of her balance to move faster, when Ranma stroke. Akane blinked as her former body vanished and somehow reappeared behind the amazon. The air vibrated violently, creating a halo of dust around them.

Shampoo also blinked, then her eyes went wide. "What happened?" she asked meekly. A second later, both bonbori heads fell to the ground, severed from their hilts and leaving deep craters at the points of impact. The amazon followed suit as both her legs went numb and refused to obey her orders.

- - -

Cologne knew something was wrong as soon as she sensed Shampoo attacking Akane. Swearing about idiotic heirs and stubborn girls she hastily pogo-ed her way towards ground zero. She reached just in time to see 'Akane' using a very intricate flash-stepping technique to incapacitate her granddaughter. She could barely follow Ranma as she neatly knifed through both Chinese maces and still had time to press a cluster of pressure points that paralyzed Shampoo's legs.

"What happened?" asked Shampoo and that brought the amazon elder back to reality.

"That's what I want to know" she followed, eyeing both Ranma and Akane curiously. At first glance there was nothing weird about their auras. The Tendo girl had been training more, but not enough to excuse such skills. A more through investigation revealed 'Akane's' chi was way more structured than usual.

"Sorry about that" quipped Ranma, causing both Shampoo and Cologne to raise a brow. "Me and Akane seem to have switched bodies" she added, then her mood darkened. "And I want to know if there is Amazon magic involved."

Cologne didn't know if she should cackle, gawk or face-fault. "I propose we talk about this somewhere more private" she suggested at length, approaching her wide-eyed heir and resetting her legs to normal. Shampoo stood up but made no effort to move. Muttering curses in Mandarin and Russian, Cologne grabbed her hand and literally dragged her back to the Nekohanten, motioning the other two to follow. She then proceeded to shoo away the last two customers and lock the front doors of the restaurant.

"So, Xian Pu, do you have anything to say before we hear the story? I believe I have forbidden the use of potions. So, did you disobey me?"

Shampoo managed to hide her nervousness fairly well. "Xian Pu no make more love or hypnotic potions" she stated, keeping a straight face.

Cologne sighed. "You did not answer my question, granddaughter. You know as well as I do that these kinds of potions are a tiny fraction of what we can do."

The amazon girl gulped. "Xian Pu not know how to make mind-switching potion. No use in using that. Xian Pu not even know they switched" she added, looking at Akane mortified and gaining a glare.

The amazon elder rewarded her heir with a knock on the head. "I know that. I have never heard of such a potion myself" she declared, causing everybody's eyes to go wide. "This is why I persist. This goes beyond the current situation. If you made such a potion by accident, we need to learn the recipe."

Shampoo's resolve seemed to falter. "Xian Pu no make mistake" she added, avoiding everybody's eyes.

Cologne went to say something more, but a deafening sound from the kitchen stopped her. "What in the..?" she started, her eyes bugging out as Mousse stumbled in.

"How's everybody?" he slurred, his frame wobbling to and fro.

Shampoo was the first to reattach to reality. "Mu Tzu? What wrong with you?" she asked, trying to hide the very real concern she felt.

"By Dionysos" exclaimed Cologne exasperated. "He is drunk" she followed, using her staff on his head and causing him to crash on the floor.

Mousse raised his head, eyes glazed, and regarded the rest of the room's occupants. "What's with all here?" he inquired intelligently.

The amazon elder sighed. "We are trying to determine whether Xian Pu has been playing with potions again" she replied, not really expecting any information from the intoxicated hidden weapons master.

"No probs!" he returned happily. "I took care of Xian-chan's potion. No danger at all."

Mousse blinked, trying hard to comprehend the ensuing scene. Cologne had a hand slapped on her face while Ranma and Akane were trying their best to glare holes through Shampoo, manifesting two very impressive battle auras. Said cursed amazon was doing her best to look cute, innocent and mostly harmless, although the effect was spoiled by the fact she would glare back at him half of the time.

"Did I say something wrong?" he hiccuped, futilely trying to return to his feet.

- - -

05-05-07: I hope this chapter has been entertaining. It came a bit more late than what I'd like, but I did post a Ranma one-shot for your enjoyment. I have to say I wouldn't want to be in Shampoo's place. Was that a difficult day or what? And it's not over yet, either. Be sure to keep an eye out for the next chapter, where Cologne will hopefully divine just what kind of potion caused such... interesting times.

Remember: Reviews are the tiles that pave the endless road to perfection.


	12. Explanations and ramifications

Chapter 12: Explanations and ramifications

_Many can draw a plan. Much fewer can actually start it. A select few can even make is a success..._

- - -

Cologne shook her head in mild disgust as her hands danced all over Mousse's back. She still wasn't sure how she had managed to placate Ranma and Akane, but the amazon elder had learned to count her blessings. She guessed they were both weary from the day's ordeals and not too eager to initiate yet another one of the riots Nerima was famous for. Her fingers found the pressure points she had been looking for and she activated them, pressing while sending a tiny dosage of chi through each of them. She noticed that while Xian Pu and Akane were busy glaring all around, Ranma was more interested in the technique she was using on the intoxicated hidden weapons master. Cologne's admiration for the currently displaced Saotome went up a notch. Even while in wrong bodies, she still had her senses open, waiting like a vulture to snatch knowledge from her actions.

Everybody else was startled as the elder pressed a final point, causing Mousse to let an inhuman cry of pain and indignation while something flashed at his abdomen. "It's a special technique used to accelerate alcohol's metabolism by pumping life energy to one's liver" she explained above Mousse's painful groans as everybody else regarded her incredulously. "The only downside is that you have to face hours worth of hangover condensed in mere seconds. Perfect for warriors that need to sober up fast and get grumpy enough to cut down foes" she added, causing the atmosphere to lighten considerably. Xian Pu and Akane bit back sniggers and Ranma smiled openly, confident she could replicate the technique on a certain panda. Mousse on the other hand shot a fittingly grumpy glare towards the elder, only to wince when her staff tested his skull's integrity.

Cologne's visage turned grim. "Now that we have dispensed with the pleasantries, we may try again and sort this particular, if amusing, mess" she intoned, glaring at her heir.

The purple-haired amazon gulped, but quickly remembered her upbringing. "Xian Pu made mind communication potion for Xian Pu and airen" she started, regarding everybody's face and shying away from Ranma's now hostile glare, before continuing. "Xian Pu only want talk to airen without sounding like idiot" she went on, biting her lip at the end of her sentence. She hated admitting weakness like that, especially before Akane, but she realized she had messed up royally this time.

Cologne's eyes failed to soften at that. While she perfectly understood her granddaughter's plight, she had nobody to blame but herself. The elder knew that no amount of magic could truly substitute real knowledge. "Did you ingest this potion, son-in-law?" she asked, turning to face Akane's body. She had adapted pretty fast to the switch, not missing a beat before addressing each of the displaced martial artists.

While Ranma contemplated that, Akane shook her head. "I believe that one of Kodachi's smoke bombs vaporized the potion and we breathed it."

Cologne let out a deep sigh. This new potion was sounding more and more potent by the second. An accomplished veteran of many wars, the elder shuddered at the many uses such a concoction would have. Pushing such thoughts away, she turned to the now subdued amazon male. "And what is your involvement, Mr. Part-timer?" she inquired testily.

Mousse gathered the tatters of his resolve and decided that holding back information would certainly not help him. The mood of everybody in the room was getting fouler by the second and he could easily imagine the others volunteering him for the ancient function known as scapegoat. "I discovered Xian Pu's potion by accident and diluted it with a nullifier potion of my own" he responded truthfully.

Cologne was not amused. "What kind of nullifier?" she followed in a low yet demanding voice.

Mousse gulped. "A class S, Zeus form, ninth degree nullifier" he hesitated, drawing a blank look from Akane, Ranma and Shampoo.

The elder's brow almost shot through the roof. "I'm not even going to ask where you learned how to brew a restricted, high level potion like that" she started, grinning mentally as Mousse visibly relaxed. "For now, anyway" she added, watching in satisfaction as he tensed worse than before. "Did you clean your workspace after finishing the potion?" she asked, turning to regard Shampoo.

The younger amazon shook her head sheepishly. "Xian Pu too too anxious to get potion to airen" she confessed, wilting under Cologne's disapproving frown. Cleaning after your messes was alchemy's golden rule, after all.

The elder sighed. "I need to check something. Try not to kill each other until I return" she advised, quickly disappearing from sight.

"This is all your fault!" came the chorus from three separate voices, then everybody's eyes went wide. Shampoo had talked to Mousse, Akane was blaming the purple-haired amazon while Mousse was holding an accusing finger towards Ranma.

Said martial artist blinked owlishly, as if wanting to confirm her ears were not playing tricks at her. "I think we all need to settle down a bit" she offered, shooting everybody a withering glance. The other three had the good grace to blush.

Cologne came back faster than anticipated, regarding the four others as they tried to secretly glare at the one they held responsible. Her hand snapped forward and a tiny pouch landed on the table they were gathered around. "Do you know what this is?" she asked, directing her question towards the other two amazons.

They gingerly opened the container, eyeing the silvery powder with trepidation. "It unicorn fur dust" exclaimed Shampoo. "Too too rare ingredient."

Cologne nodded. "I believe Ryouga Hibiki, with his uncanny talent of appearing out of thin air, accidentally added some of this powder to Xian Pu's potion. I caught him upstairs shortly after Mu Tzu was done sneaking around."

If said amazon had thought an appropriate verbal barb, he completely forgot about it as understanding dawned. "That would turn my nullifier into an amplifier" he exclaimed thoughtlessly.

Cologne regarded him with a calculating eye. "Very nice mister part-timer. Your sudden alchemical knowledge is staggering" she responded, causing Mousse to draw back, not unlike a snail back to its shell. She ignored him as her brows furrowed in thought. "What happened is incredible in its simplicity. A mind communication potion creates a bridge between two minds, allowing strong surface thoughts to be exchanged freely. It is exactly like talking to the phone, only nobody else can hear you. It also nullifies any language barriers" she clarified, sparing a glance towards her heir. "Apparently, nobody had thought to amplify it before, mainly because nobody could think of a reason to" she added, shaking her head. "Right now, the pull of the link is so strong, you basically remote control each other's body."

Akane nodded, accepting the explanation, while Ranma frowned. "So, is there an antidote?" she asked impatiently.

Cologne turned to Shampoo. "How much duration did you intent the initial potion to have?"

The amazon warrior fidgeted a bit. "Xian Pu set potion duration to two moons" she replied, causing Ranma to pale at the implication and Akane to snort in indignation.

Cologne nodded. "The amplifier will burn it down faster. The current effect should last from one to two weeks" she declared, prompting everybody else except Mousse to gasp.

"There must be an antidote for that, old ghoul!"

"I can't spend two weeks in this pervert's body!"

"Xian Pu can't hug airen when in too too violent girl's body!"

"Who are you calling a pervert?"

"It's all your fault you amazon hussy!"

"Pervert girl needs too too good whack on head? Maybe that dispel potion."

Exalted Grandmother Khu Lon felt she was too close to the end of her rope. "SILENCE!" she demanded in a chi enchanted voice that caused all solid surfaces to shudder. Satisfied when everybody stopped talking, she went on in her usual calm manner. "You won't have to worry about son-in-law during the next weeks, Xian Pu. Since you and Mu Tzu like to play with potions so much, I'm assigning you the honor of mastering this particular potion you accidentally brewed. From now on you will devote ALL of you free time to this task. I want you to find the exact ingredients used, the antidote and any useful variations of the potion. You will study its effects, using yourselves as test subjects and I expect serious and through reports when you are done."

While Mousse was busy thanking his lucky stars for being ordered to spend so much time with his beloved, Shampoo had other ideas. "But grandmother..." she started, only to be cut short when Cologne's staff missed her head by a hair's width, impacting and snapping the table in twain.

"I will not repeat myself, maiden warrior Xian Pu. You will initiate the appointed task at once!" she ordered, ignoring any further comments and turning to Ranma and Akane. They waited until the other two amazons exited, then they also turned to face her. "Keep in mind that developing an antidote will probably take more than two weeks. Your best bet is to wait it out."

The two fiancées were not happy but they nodded in resignation. "Do you have any advice, elder?" asked Akane respectfully, pleasantly surprising the amazon.

Cologne nodded. "Be careful of the challenges you undertake and the persons you reveal your condition. I'm sure you have noticed by now, but the two bodies are a lot different. I won't tell you to stay out of trouble because frankly you don't seem to be able to help it," she added cackling, causing both girls opposite to her to frown. She quickly sobered down, her face turning grim, when another thought surfaced. "Also, be careful not to die. If one of you does, the shock will promptly kill the other," she added bluntly, closing her eyes as both youngsters looked down. She felt it was her duty to cheer them up. "On the other hand, this can be an opportunity to learn different things and a unique way of training." She was satisfied when both of them and especially Ranma perked up at that.

Akane's eyes turned to the window and she noticed for the first time it was past dusk. "We should probably return home. We skipped lunch and everybody will probably be worried by now."

Ranma nodded. "Yeah, I can do without waterworks and pre-wedding parties tonight."

The amazon elder smirked. "Off you go then. I wouldn't want a search party to stomp in my restaurant. I will call you if I have news on an antidote, but as I said don't hope for much."

- - -

Konatsu was worried. True to his training, he did not allow that fact to interfere with the task at hand, namely taking care of the restaurant's customers. Quick to learn new tricks, he had become almost as good as Ukyo in the art of Okonomiyaki preparation. Combined with his kunoichi skills, he was able to keep Ucchan's as if he was in many places at once. In fact, sometimes he would use his body duplication technique to do just that. In this particular instant he had sent a clone to wait outside for the source of his worry. Ukyo had yet to return.

His thoughts dissolved instantly as he spotted his clone entering the restaurant through the back door. It held said missing Okonomiyaki chef, who was busy babbling while lost in drunken stupor. Konatsu was fairly familiar when it came to drunken individuals, not only because of his training but also because of his former home. The customers reaching his family's 'tea shop' had always been way more interested in drowning their sorrows than in her stepfamily. Konatsu did not blame them. His stepsisters and stepmother seemed like Famine, Pestilence and Death personified. Still, despite his experience, seeing her boss and secret love in such a state made him sad, as if he had somehow failed her.

"I'll get you to lie down, mistress Ukyo" he muttered, changing places with his clone and dragging the target of his shy affections upstairs. "I fear you will be feeling rather uncomfortable tomorrow." The incessant stream of incoherent, sailor grade curses that leaked from her mouth did nothing to diminish his feelings.

- - -

Ranma and Akane walked in contemplative silence for a while, each replaying the day's incidents and trying to figure out how they would survive for two weeks in each other's bodies.

Said silence was interrupted when Akane's belly decided to declare its presence and demand to be fed. The displaced girl smirked. "Do you keep a dragon chained in here Ranma? It sounds angry we missed lunch" she teased.

A second later, Ranma's stomach responded in kind and she smirked towards her former body. "Your pet Phoenix doesn't sound much happier. I'd say she's so hungry she's on fire."

Akane rolled her eyes then regarded Ranma as she reflexively leaped on the fence. She was still wearing her school uniform, she noted, never having a chance to change. Then her eyes went wide as she remembered a vital detail.

"Get off that fence!" she demanded frantically, her fingers grasping the steel wires and thrashing vigorously. "Now!" she went on, her eyes snapping from right to the left.

Ranma almost lost her balance, recovering at the last moment and hoping down without any regard, causing her fiancée to hiss in irritation. "Geez, what's the matter, tomboy?" she asked casually, receiving an elbow at her side. "That hurt, you know."

"Idiot, have you no modesty? Did you forget what you're wearing?" she asked heatedly.

Ranma blinked, then looked at her clothes groaning. "Oh, come on. Even if it's a dress, no one could see..."

Akane grabbed her from the shoulders and shook her. "Let me rephrase that, did you forget what you are NOT wearing?" she asked, now virtually whispering.

Ranma blinked again, then she turned sheepish. "Whoops, I completely forgot about that thing with Happosai. No wonder it's drafty" she mused, prompting Akane to sigh and rub her temples.

The currently pig-tailed girl grabbed her fiancée's hand, determined to lead both of them back home without any more shenanigans. Ranma let herself be dragged, as Akane voiced her thoughts as a part plan, part rant speech.

"We will tell none of this. The less that know the better. If you can't think of something I would say, keep your mouth shut. I'll **try** to eat as messily as you usually do, but you must slow down. We have to sleep in each other's rooms so nobody will know."

"Do I really have to mallet you for silly things?" asked Ranma, gaining a death glare. She ignored it, grinning to herself instead. "I mean, one would almost think you enjoyed having Shampoo all over you. Why, if not for me, you would have shared a very romantic moment" she teased, causing Akane to stop and turn to face her.

"This was all your fault. You should have sent that floozy back from where she came from a long time ago. You probably enjoy the attention!" she fumed.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "In the way YOU enjoyed her attention?" she asked slyly.

Her fiancée responded very maturely, sticking her tongue out. "As if. She was clutching me like a demented phobic octopus. I thought my ribs... well... your ribs would give out on me" she finished, raising a brow at her fiancée's smug face.

"Which proves I don't enjoy her attention either" she concluded, crossing her arms while nodding to herself in a way that seemed unsettlingly cute to Akane.

The Tendo girl's eyes went wide at the thought and she blushed despite herself, wondering why she would think something like that for her own body. "As if I'd know what a pervert like you enjoys" she replied angrily.

Ranma eyed her through half-lidded eyes. "Watch it with the pervert cracks" she warned annoyed. "And speaking of what to do and what not to do, you'd better be careful who you fight when in my body. I might not be there to save you from Pig-boy next time."

Akane fumed at that, trying to figure a way to hurt Ranma without injuring her body. At that point, another battle came to her mind. It really irked her that Ranma had been able to completely overmatch Shampoo while in her body. While the Tendo girl hated to admit it, she knew she usually had little chance to prevail against the amazon.

Her curiosity and drive for the art won against her pride and she turned to face her normal body. "How did you do that when you fought Shampoo, anyway? Even with your body's senses I couldn't follow it at all. I know I've never seen you doing that normally" she inquired, doctoring her tone to avoid sounding impressed.

Ranma shrugged. "That's a flash-step technique. Many combat styles have these. I've improved one of them by combining elements from the tea ceremony toe moves, the little I've learned about skating from you and a weak umisenken" she explained, then concentrated for a second.

Akane blinked, then her eyes snapped to her other side as Ranma seemed to vanish then reappear almost instantly. "Fast..." she muttered in disbelief.

Ranma feh-ed. "It's useful, but no big deal. In fact, it's not even finalized. When I figure out the old freak's Cicada Shell technique and add it to the mix, I'll be able to pass through solid objects with this. Now that would be interesting" she mused, getting carried away with a dreamy look on her face.

Her fiancée was not sure if she should blink in awe and disbelief or pound Ranma for never having that look when thinking about her. She decided that both such actions would hurt her position and settled for frowning instead.

"Of course, I might be able to show you how it's done" went on Ranma, smirking when she saw the brief flash of eagerness and excitement that occupied her normal face for almost a second. She had realized soon enough that while Akane might pretend to be mildly interested, she was ready to absorb new techniques of her level like a sponge, not unlike Ranma herself.

"I'll hold you to that" she responded. "Now shut up and pretend to be me. We are almost home."

Ranma quirked a brow. "That doesn't make any sense. You rarely shut up."

Before Akane could physically convey what she thought of that comment, she had to stop when Nabiki came to meet them just outside the estate gates.

"I don't know where you two lovebirds have been, but I hope you are ready for trouble," exclaimed the middle Tendo, her voice sounding more nervous than what she would normally allow to herself. "I persuaded Taro to give me some information and things don't look exactly sunny. Those minotaurs Taro fought will be back, so make sure you are battle ready, Ranma. I believe our house is one of their targets."

- - -

07-06-07: Not much action in this chapter, but I hope you found some of it borderline funny. I am very puzzled I only received one review in the last chapter, even though the hit count has been even more active than usual. If you think there is something wrong with my stories, tell me so. In the next chapter, Ranma and Akane face their next two big challenges: Furo and school while in wrong bodies!!


	13. Point differences

Chapter 13: Point differences

_Adapting and improvising is the core of the anything-goes style. Practitioners are expected to use any means to fight and any opportunity to train. Now then, Soun and Genma. For this regime you will be hunted by a herd of enraged elephants while blindfolded. The minefields I have planted all over the valley and the enraged tribe of pygmies that are out for your blood are the least of your concerns..._

_-Grandmaster Happosai, during casual training trip._

- - -

Akane's eyes blinked open and she swore in frustration. The futon she was sleeping on was comfortable enough and her current body was used to such accommodations. What she couldn't bare was the snoring panda next to her that apparently did its best to keep her awake. Sighing, she took a moment to stare at the ceiling, remembering last night. Fortunately, they had arrived home after everybody else had finished supper, meaning they did not have to sit around the table with the rest of their families. Later they had both gone out of their ways to keep away from both each other and everybody else. If the rest thought they had had a quarrel, so much the better. It would explain their unusual behavior and dissuade any questions and instant weddings.

The Tendo girl had only accomplished a few hours of sleep, but instead of feeling tired she felt restless. Still not used to Ranma's body and its apparently permanent sugar high, she felt an overwhelming urge to move ever since the panda beside her had interrupted her slumber. Akane decided she had had enough. Rising to her feet, she kicked at Genma's side hard, gawking when he failed to be disturbed. "At least I now know why Ranma is such a heavy sleeper at mornings" she mused.

Wearing Ranma's everyday clothes, she used the window to reach the ground in an authentic Ranma way, then her eyes fell on the dojo. Her newfound senses warned her there was someone else in there, probably Ranma herself. She had to raise a brow when she saw a blue glow escaping from the windows. Intrigued, she silently opened the dojo doors and looked inside.

She saw her body, dressed in her casual gi and sitting in the middle of the hall in lotus position. Ranma had her eyes closed in trance and a blue corona of light extended from her center, at least three times wider and stronger than the widest aura she had ever managed to project. She had to beat back envy with the proverbial stick, standing there mesmerized as tendrils of chi would occasionally expand out of the aura and brush against the walls.

Suddenly, she felt a change in the air and noticed that instead of serene, Ranma's face was now strained from the effort. She watched in disbelief as her normal body's aura seemed to collapse upon itself, halving in size and doubling in intensity. Seconds later, the process repeated and Akane started having trouble to look directly at Ranma's form. The Saotome youth held the performance a little bit more, grunting in effort, then let go, dropping her aura completely and gasping for air.

As soon as the light show was over, Akane strode inside the dojo, determined to get some answers. "And what exactly have you been doing with my body?" she asked out of the blue, startling her fiancée.

Ranma jumped a bit, then smiled the cutest smile she could conjure, causing Akane to flinch. "Good morning to you too, 'Kane. Sleep well? It's entirely too early for you to be up."

"That interesting and secret a technique, huh?" she asked in a condescending tone, making it perfectly clear she would not accept the change of subject.

Ranma sighed, rising to her feet and stretching. "If Nabiki is right-and she usually is- we will need any advantage we can get. I was trying a... technique I saw a long time ago."

Akane raised a brow. "A technique you saw but never mastered? Now that's a surprise."

Her fiancée frowned. "There are a lot such techniques Akane. Do you think that during the training trip with pop I had time to settle somewhere and actually train? Half of the time we were running away from people he conned."

The Tendo girl was not convinced, looking him through half-lidded eyes. "You've had all the time in the world here, Ranma. What aren't you telling me?" she insisted, coming close enough to almost cause their noses to touch.

Ranma scowled. "Alright, I couldn't learn it in my body! Satisfied?" she exclaimed frustrated.

Akane blinked. "And you can learn it in while in mine?" she asked in disbelief and elation.

The displaced Saotome smirked somewhat cruelly. "It's because by the time I remembered this technique, my body had way too strong an aura. It would be dangerous to try and learn it in my own body."

"Are you saying my body is weak?" she demanded and Ranma chuckled.

"Not weak, tomboy, just weaker than my body. I thought you would have realized that by now" she retaliated, blowing her fiancée a raspberry.

"Don't call me that" she fumed, throwing a half-hearted punch that was easily dodged. "So what's this oh so might technique?"

Ranma looked thoughtful. "What do you know about battle auras?" she asked back.

She smirked, eager to display her knowledge. "It is projected from the body's center in times of need or stress, trained martial artists can control it and it enchases strength, speed and endurance without need to focus your chi at a specific place."

The Saotome youth nodded. "It's also very inefficient, since the stronger it is the wider it spreads. The technique I'm trying to learn allows me to 'fold' my aura back to itself. Each new folding doubles the aura's current effects" she explained, chuckling at the look of incredulous disbelief on the other girl's face.

"That's... that's a lot" she managed after a while and Ranma nodded. A second later, she had to use all her speed to avoid an extremely fast punch from Akane.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, barely dodging a low kick.

Akane smiled devilishly and Ranma subconsciously filed the expression for future use. "What does it look like? If I have to fight in your body, I need to get used to it. Plus I will be giving my normal body a real workout. Unlike you, I have few reasons to hold back" she clarified, falling in a vicious combo that Ranma again barely dodged.

The Saotome martial artist was not convinced. "Are you an idiot? My body is way faster and stronger than yours! If I miss a dodge you might kill both of us" she warned, frowning all the while.

Her fiancée failed to stop smirking. "Don't worry, I know how much damage my body can take. That is, unless you think you are not good enough to keep up with me now" she added slyly, mentally patting herself on the back.

Ranma knew very well Akane was baiting her. The challenge, however, was still a challenge and she knew she could guard against most of the things Akane could throw at her. The fact she was facing her own body made it a bit easier to attack, too. Face turning grim, Ranma prepared herself for the next attack. Akane assaulted her with an onslaught of punches at amaguriken speed and Ranma allowed herself a smirk. She blocked the first few with some difficulty, then proceeded to dance through the rest and land a palm strike on her opponent's diaphragm, hard enough to launch her off her feet.

Akane stayed down dazed for a while, looking at her former body incredulously. While not really hurt, she had felt more pain than when she would crash after an unsuccessful landing. "How did you do that?" she asked in disbelief. "I am sure I was punching way faster than what my body can do. I was practically doing the chestnut fist!"

Ranma chuckled, a cocky grin on her mouth. "That's because martial arts are not only about the body, tomboy" she retaliated, stressing the last word to Akane's ire. "The amaguriken is not only about punching fast and hard enough without hurting your hands. You have this part down pat, actually. The problem is, your mind can't keep up. You strike blindly and with no accuracy. To compensate, you fall into patterns. After I blocked the first few punches, I saw right through them. If I know where you're going to hit, I don't have to be faster than you."

Akane turned grim, nodding. She reflected she should have been angry for making such a mistake, but found she had started respecting Ranma as a teacher. That didn't mean for a second she wouldn't try to prevail against her fiancée, regardless of how unjust her current advantage might be. She tried once more, punching slower and trying to control each and every movement. She soon realized there was a fine line between speed and control. If she thought too much, she would turn slow and clumsy. If she thought too little, she would become predictable. Grinding her teeth, she tried to maintain that balance.

Ranma, on the other hand, was impressed. Akane was slowly gaining the upper hand and the young Saotome found herself blocking and parrying hits as often as she dodged. She would expend a lot of chi to bolster her body's weaker than normal defenses, so each hit had little effect individually, but so many together would soon start taking their toll. She decided it was time to break Akane's rhythm. Timing Akane's blows, she suddenly grabbed one of her hands by the wrist while leaving the ground. Using Akane's momentum and dodging her other punch, she twisted her body at an odd angle, bringing her knee right at her opponent's forehead. Still using her arm for leverage, she proceeded to leap above the Tendo girl, unbalancing her even more and falling behind her. A fast and hard leg sweep sent the dazed Akane to the floor and she barely managed to brace herself with her hands and avoid a face-plant.

Akane returned to her feet much slower. While she was satisfied to note Ranma was breathing harder than she had ever seen him breath during their spars, her own labored gasps were less than flattering. She absently rubbed her forehead, marveling at the strike.

"How did you hit me as hard as Ryouga?" she inquired puzzled. "I know I could never hit that hard with my body."

Ranma tried to maintain a straight face at that. She then proceeded to fail miserably. Despite Akane's frown, she collapsed, almost laughing to tears. "R...really Akane" she managed with difficulty. "Did you think I was pulling your leg every time I mentioned your brute strength? You are not strong as a mule. In fact, mules have nothing on you" she guffawed, causing Akane to turn violet from both anger and embarrassment.

"What the hell are you talking about!" she demanded. "I'm nowhere near as strong as you or Ryouga!"

Ranma shook her head. "Idiot! You are almost as strong as him and I'm only a little bit stronger. Your problem is, you have zero control over it. Did you think I have been launching myself above Nerima all that time? After breaking so many cinderblocks, your body has enough strength affinity to lift tons!" she yelled and Akane blushed.

"But... but I" she tried embarrassed, not sure how to respond.

Ranma sighed. "Look Akane. Keep working on speed, control and balance. Right now, you have a body with way deeper chi reserves than what you are used to. Hell, start working on chi balls again. As long as you pick a harmless emotion, you won't run out of juice for days and it's easier in my body, too. If you do it now, it will be that much easier to repeat when the potion fades."

Akane settled down at that, then turned thoughtful. "Does that mean that you can throw chi around normally while in my body?" she wondered.

Ranma raised a brow. "One way to find out" she responded, extending her arm horizontally and concentrating. A few seconds later, a blue mass of chi the size of a softball appeared on her hand and she smirked. "It's a bit different than usual, but I still have it. In fact, I think I'll keep playing with your chi all day. It will help your body to get used to it."

For some reason, her fiancée blushed at the wording. "I think I'll go take a bath" she snapped, hurrying out of the dojo. As soon as she stepped outside, both she and Ranma realized what exactly taking a bath would entail.

- - -

Nabiki groaned as her alarm clock decided it was high time she woke up. For efficiency reasons she had it placed at the opposite side of her room, a fact that forced her to leave the bed altogether to get rid of the infernal sound. Still half-asleep, she frowned at her window. She could tell it was way earlier than her usual time and she struggled to remember why she would inflict such a despicable torture on her person. Her weary eyes fell on the thermos next to her alarm clock and she reached for it almost instinctively. Removing the cup, she drank directly from the bottle, ingesting an unreasonable amount of warm coffee, thanking her stars she had it prepared from yesterday. As soon as the black nectar entered her system, she remembered the method to her madness. She had planned to try and unearth as much information about Taro's enemies as possible.

Quickly dressing and clearing the bathroom, she stopped momentarily in front of Taro's room. Hardly hesitating, she slid the door open, expecting the cursed martial artist to still be asleep.

"I find your definition of privacy to be heavily skewed, Tendo" came the voice from inside and she merely raised a brow. Taro had his back against the wall and despite being in substantial pain he was busy pumping a pair of dumbbells fast enough to seem like blurs.

Nabiki smiled icily. "On the contrary, Taro. My definition of privacy is positively pristine. That doesn't mean I have to respect it. On the other hand, your definition of rest is not quite stellar."

The unfortunately named Chinese smiled almost sheepishly. "If I rest any more, I'll go crazy, Nabiki. You wouldn't like me crazy."

The middle Tendo failed to flinch in the slightest. "You assume I already like you, Taro. How very conceited of you" she retaliated teasingly.

Taro grinned. "I have faith in my indomitable charm, Nabiki. After I save your life a couple of times, you'll fall for me like a meteor."

"I hope you'll be able to take the strain then" she responded, not missing a beat. "While you have a head start since I already know your full name..." she went on, eliciting a groan from Happosai's godchild, "...you will be hard pressed to seduce me that easily. Ranma has saved my baby sister dozens of times and I find myself unsettlingly jealous" she finished, running a hand seductively down her side and basking under Taro's sudden leer.

"I am sure I can measure up", he replied, somewhat stiffly.

Nabiki smirked. "See that you do, big boy" she added while leaving.

Taro sighed, somewhat overwhelmed. "These Tendo sisters are something else" he muttered, shaking his head and trying to concentrate in his training.

- - -

Akane's cheeks were already rosy when she entered the bathroom area. Discarding her clothes, she couldn't help looking at the mirror with a generous mixture of jealousy, embarrassment and excitement. She had admitted to herself some time ago she was a pervert by her own, admittedly biased, standards, only marginally minding in which form Ranma was at any time. And there she was now, occupying Ranma's body and free to leer at it anytime.

Biting her lower lip, she quickly hurried to the bathing area, futilely trying to look down as little as possible. That didn't stop her mind from wandering and making her flush.

"Any other girl would get back pains with these things, but Ranma's body is above such mundane inconvenience" she muttered somewhat miffed and trying to concentrate in other such comparatively harmless subjects. She decided to try and keep the level-headedness of a doctor, although thinking about Dr. Tofu was not exactly smart. While her crush had long since faded, it didn't mean there were no memories left.

After a while, she managed to settle down enough to actually wash herself. What she did not expected was Ranma casually entering with only a folded towel to protect some of her body's modesty.

"What do you think you are doing, you pervert?" she demanded hotly, raising a brow when Ranma signaled her to stop talking loudly.

"Keep it low, everybody else is still sleeping" she replied. "And I believe I'm taking a bath" she added, casually sitting on the second stool."

"But...but...but I'm here now" she shot back flustered.

While Ranma was also blushing, she made a far greater job looking casual. "Come on, Akane. Can you honestly say you have something right now I have never seen?" she asked, staring directly at her fiancée and shamelessly running her eyes all over her normal body. "But damn, do I look good!" she added snickering.

"You... you... you" tried the Tendo girl unsuccessfully, clenching and unclenching her hands and not quite sure how to react to something like that. As a consequence, her eyes focused on her real body, looking at it from a new angle. She blushed a deep crimson and unthinkingly shot up, hurrying to the furo.

And completely forgetting a very very vital detail.

Ranma did not, however, seeing as the main reason she entered the bathroom was to see how Akane would cope with a male body. She also rose to her feet, staying close.

Akane did not notice, her mind occupied. What **he** **did** notice as soon as he sat down in the warm water was an overwhelming sense of nausea and displacement, ten times worse than what he felt when they switched bodies. At last he remembered Ranma's curse and hesitantly opened his eyes. All his senses seemed different to him and his mind screamed there was something very wrong. He gasped and his voice sounded deeper. Not able to take the strain, he went into shock, wrapping his arms around himself tightly and shuddering.

Seconds later he felt strong arms hugging him and he started to sob. Ranma did her best to shush him, not wanting to say something wrong. After a while, Akane settled down, sniffling and wiping his eyes. "You were right, Ranma. As soon as I changed I..." he tried, finding his own voice alien. "How can you not notice when the change happens" he half whined, half asked.

Ranma rocked him a bit more, causing him to sigh. "It's only the first few times that's that bad. After a while, you won't notice it either" she replied soothingly.

Akane nodded. "Thanks Ranma... For being here. I can't believe I made fun of..."

Ranma cut him short. "Oh, come on. You're just saying that because you're in shock. In a while you'll be back to your usual tomboyish self" she teased, causing Akane to frown. "Yeah, like that. No matter your form, you are still my fiancé" she added, causing Akane's blush to return with a vengeance. Both of them would rarely acknowledge their forced engagement like that and both valued such instances far more than they would admit.

Another thing that contributed to Akane's blush was the fact that Ranma was wrapped around him while female and very naked. While the male body was a mystery to Akane, he could guess the twin breasts pressed on his back had something to do with his uneasiness.

"Sorry Ranma. I guess this time I freaked out on you" he admitted embarrassed.

Ranma shrugged. "No big deal. I went completely berserk when I fell in the spring" she offered, then her eyes went wide as she noticed something. "Although that reaction is not exactly an indication of panic" she added, trying hard to stifle her giggles.

Akane blinked confused, then decided to look downwards. Ranma tried to remember if she had ever seen Ryouga getting that red. The currently male Tendo girl eeped and tried to leap out of the furo. Ranma, that was still holding him and the fact his balance was way off caused him to stumble badly. They both fell to the floor with Akane on top, then they both stood very still. Ranma looked at her fiancé, smiling while blushing prettily. Akane, on the other hand, eyes like saucers, felt blood trailing from his nose.

Within the next second he managed to leap to his feet, reach the cold shower for a quick gender change and bolt out of the room without bothering with a towel. Ranma blinked, remaining still for a while, then erupted in belly-shaking laughter. It took her a long time to come to her senses and leave the bathroom, noticing a thoroughly trampled and goofy-looking Soun lying nearby.

"Akane, you pervert!" she giggled.

- - -

12-06-07: No Ranma story is complete without embarrassing water situations, me thinks. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Next chapter will either have school or a serious battle scene. Stay tuned for it, same Ranma time, same Ranma channel and thanks for the reviews.


	14. Hiding in plain sight

Chapter 14: Hiding in plain sight

_By becoming aware of the energies in and around you, you increase your control over chi regardless of whether it resides inside or around you. With enough control you can dominate your enemies without throwing a punch, you can control your environment and defy nature. You can even emulate other kinds of powers like psychic, telekinetic and magical ones. Soun and Genma, unless you manage to move the mountain before you with your chi, I expect you to run five hundred laps around it before supper._

_-Grandmaster Happosai, while checking whether his students' gullibility has decreased..._

- - -

A still red-faced Akane entered the family room, making sure to take in the scene before her. Kasumi and Nodoka were serving breakfast and her father was absorbed in his newspaper while Nabiki and Taro were busy watching Ranma. Said displaced martial artist was juggling what seemed like five blue and glowing balls, her brown eyes narrowed and concentrating.

Taro raised a brow when he saw Akane was in girl form, then smirked. "Hey fem... I mean, Ranma" he started, shooting a hasty glance towards Nabiki. "That's a neat trick you've shown your girl. It's a coordination exercise, right?" he stated more than asked.

Akane took a second to think an appropriate response, then smirked. "Yep, the tomboy needs all the coordination training she can get" she stated, resisting the urge to bite her lip. She almost started laughing when Ranma shot her one of her own baneful glares.

"If I wasn't so busy with this, I'd show you how coordinated my mallet is" she responded, her voice sounding neutral as if in deep concentration.

Akane almost cringed. There was no way anybody would be fooled by such a poor display. "Oh, I get it!" exclaimed Nabiki, missing 'Ranma's' panicking face. "That's smooth Saotome. While my sister plays with balls, you can say what you want freely!" she went on and Akane had to resist slapping a hand on her face. She wasn't sure whether to be relieved nobody had noticed something was amiss, angry at Nabiki's words or bitter her own family couldn't see through the switch.

"Speaking of playing with balls, where is your father Ranma? It's not like him to miss sparring and especially breakfast." Akane blinked at that, trying to conjure a response.

"I heard uncle Saotome is exploring morning meditation," said Ranma, lying through her teeth. "He might take some time to come down. Isn't that right, **Ranma**?"

Akane nodded, albeit a bit too fast, causing a silent groan from her fiancée. "Yeah, uncl.. stupid old panda thought it would be a good idea. Panda... good idea..." she babbled, burying her face in her plate and exaggerating even Ranma's table manners.

Nodoka sighed. "If my husband keeps being so lazy, I fear his futon will keep remaining cold at nights" she commented, making it very clear her relationship with Genma was not exactly stellar. "Why, I took pains to find him manly jobs befitting his talents" she added, producing a board filled with copied and pasted ads.

Kasumi nodded. "Why, yes. Uncle Saotome is getting many manly job offers. Two months ago some nice gentlemen wanted him for the national panda breeding program. I can't see why he refused, the pay was very good" she said, causing everybody to stop moving and stare at her incredulously.

Ranma twitched twice, deciding she had had enough. "Let's go **Ranma**" she exclaimed, grabbing Akane from the pigtail, picking the two bentos Kasumi seemed to conjure out of thin air and dashing towards the school.

"Oh my. This is the first time they leave so early. They might miss their friends on the way" noted Kasumi, smiling as everybody else twitched. From time to time she really enjoyed teasing others, even though her technique was much subtler than Nabiki's.

- - -

Shampoo yawned for perhaps the hundredth time, then sighed. It was the time she would usually leave to meet her airen. She decided her grandmother was nothing if strict. Cologne had roused both her and Mousse from their slumber before the sun could rise and had all but kicked them in the Nekohanten basement, telling them they would find all the ingredients they'd ever need before locking them in.

Yawning again, she checked her notes and measured the amount of red dust she poured from a jar. She didn't have any particular love for alchemy, only learning what Cologne deemed absolutely essential and regarding that knowledge simply as a means to an end. Daydreaming, she imagined the charming pigtailed 'end' that would always come to her mind, tempted to retch when she remembered she had almost kissed Akane yesterday. Shaking her head, she swore vulgarly when she noticed she had added more dust than what the recipe required.

Mousse, sitting next to her and as close as she would tolerate, was constantly on cloud nine. He didn't mind he was totally ignored by his beloved. He was content sitting there and gazing at her perfect figure all day and night. The distiller before him, whose contents were over-boiling, was ignored. Even when the device exploded in his face, he kept watching at his love through his soot-covered glasses.

Shampoo coughed for a while because of the ensuing smoke, muttering unintelligible curses and refrained from venting frustration through her vocal cords by means of screaming. The potion they were experimenting with was quite beyond her experience and Mousse wouldn't mind if they stayed in there forever. Cologne was capable of leaving them locked for years unless they produced results and the young amazon warrior realized that the only way to avoid such a fate would be to rally her thoughts and start working for real.

- - -

"What's the hurry?" snapped Akane as soon as they were out of the Tendo estate's hearing radius.

Ranma let go of the pigtailed, frowning in response. "We were barely able to keep up the charade and you know it. Nabiki would have started suspecting right about now. And besides, Kasumi sometimes creeps me up..." she confessed.

Her fiancée sighed. "Are you the reason your father vanished?" she asked at length.

Ranma nodded. "I pressed a point that will keep him asleep for another hour. It would have been a disaster if pop decided to spar with you."

Akane gave her the evil eye. "Are you telling me I wouldn't be able to take him?" she asked in indignation.

"That's not the reason" she replied dodging Akane's schoolbag. "We have very distinct styles. Even Kasumi would have figured it out after the first minute." _Sooner, actually. Specifically when the old man would trounce you repeatedly within the first seconds, _he amended mentally. He idly noted it was getting easier to keep such opinions private. Pretending to be Akane meant she had to be very careful around people.

Akane accepted that and started walking slowly. For once they were early and she soon lost herself in thought. The five balls appeared in Ranma's hands again and she started juggling, this time barely paying any attention. An idea came to her mind soon afterwards and she tossed one of the balls towards Akane. The Tendo girl gasped as her senses indicated the projectile and she tried to block it, only to gasp again when the blue ball blew up on her face.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" she demanded, yelping as she dodged a second ball. She realized in disbelief the 'balls' were in reality condensed chi.

"What's the matter?" taunted Ranma. "Is the tomboy too afraid to send a tiny weenie chi ball back to me?"

Akane almost went mad, just before realizing Ranma-sensei was in action. Instead of answering, she simply smirked. Ranma mirrored the expression, sending a third ball. Akane caught it, panicking for a second and treating it like a hot potato before successfully sending it back to its creator. Ranma simply batted it towards Akane once more.

Five minutes later they were casually juggling seven balls between each other while walking slowly, not bothering to look anywhere else than forward. "That's a great coordination exercise Ranma" beamed Akane excited.

"Who said it was only that?" she asked and Akane almost missed a throw as she blinked.

"But Taro said..." she started, stopping short when she heard her own words.

Ranma chuckled. "Since when does that pantyhose guy know much about chi, anyway?"

"So it's not only coordination" mused Akane. "What else can it be?" she muttered, mostly to herself.

Ranma had to stop herself from laughing aloud. As Akane tried to think harder and harder, her hands started moving with more and more grace and precession. Ranma noted she was barely touching the balls by now, balls that had absorbed some of her own red chi, assuming a purple hue.

_I'm going to teach chi control to that tomboy if it's the last thing I'll ever do,_ mused Ranma walking even slower as the school gates came in sight.

- - -

'_Xian Pu, my love, I want to hold you, kiss you, make you mine. You are the blood that runs through my veins, you are the obsession that keeps me alive, you are the reason I was born in this word.'_

'_Damn it all Mu Tzu. Why must you love me like that? I have always sought a friend in you but you always want more and I have to shove you away. For most of the amazons our age I'm simply 'the champion'. Why can't you love me as a friend and a partner?' _

'_I can't help it, my love. Ever since we were three, you were the only one who did not consider me an outcast. I had no glasses then and everybody mocked my poor vision. Only you stood by my side as a friend. Why can't you see more than that in me? What does Ranma have that I don't?'_

'_Ranma is strong and can be nice. He is brave, forgiving and sometimes funny. And his life is never boring, always bringing new challenges, never letting those around him grow weak. But these are just good points, not the reasons I love him. And do I really need reason? Love is by its nature unreasonable. I can't explain what calls me to him and I don't want to explain. Using the amazon law was merely convenient.'_

_'You know it will not work, Xian Pu. You know he loves Akane. He denies it, by everybody can see. You were there at Jusendo. You saw him fight. I also saw him before, when he thought all hope was lost. He almost died without her, my love. Do you love him enough to let go? You can't touch Akane; he will surely kill you like he killed Saffron. I won't survive your death because I will also attack and I will also die by his hand. Curses, I hate being that honest, talking to you like that, without tact or mercy.'_

Shampoo stiffened on her seat, trying hard not to start crying. "Xian Pu too too glad this potion only lasts five minutes. It very annoying with half the amplifier. It makes you hear more than surface thoughts" she groaned, trying hard to suppress and ignore Mousse's mental onslaught. Without meaning to, he showed her his own take of reality, a reality not masked by her own, admittedly biased perceptions. She stubbornly refused to consider anything of what she 'heard' trying to chant a war song in her head and block everything else.

- - -

Akane stomped through the school corridors, ignoring the terrified students around her. They would have parted even if she was still in her own body, but seeing 'Ranma' glowing crimson and stomping around enraged had additional shock value. As things were, everybody was doing their best to get their bodies integrated to the surrounding walls.

"Lo and behold, that the pig-tailed goddess of a pristine institution of learning such as this should shine like the brightest of stars. Truly even the heavens must gaze at her revered person and blush in envy. Thou art the dawn and as our love passes its dawn, thus shall..."

Of course there are always exceptions, usually attributed to either foreknowledge or stupidity. Tatewaki Kuno, belonging predictably to the second category, was soon turned into an aerial exception after Akane applied many times her usual strength below his jaw. Exasperated and only slightly subdued, she reached the school's roof and plopped on one of the benches, choosing to ignore the palm trees that had somehow rooted themselves on the concrete. Sighing, she tried to block as much of her senses as she could. When she had first reached the school, her current body's extrasensory input had caused her to go dizzy and irritable. Feeling the life-force of hundreds of students regardless of walls or other obstacles had been too much for her mind. In time she had adapted, of course, and was able to filter the information with substantial effort.

After a while she had to frown when she sensed Ranma was close, presumably looking for her. Seconds later, said displaced martial artist came into her vision's field, sitting right beside her. "Gee, what's got your panties in a twist this time?" she asked teasingly.

Akane attempted to incinerate her normal body by means of glaring. "For your information, mister, I happen to be wearing **your **boxers" she retaliated with a huff.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "And I'm wearing your underwear. Why Akane, if anybody else was to hear you, they'd think we are doing something perverted. Do you really think we could get away with wearing our own clothes?"

Akane continued to glare, prompting Ranma to decide silently that her female body's glare was more cute than intimidating, provided you ignored the surrounding aura, of course. "You don't have to act so casual about it" she hissed back. "You fell asleep in the class! I never do that!"

Ranma scowled at that. "Oh, so sorry I'm ruining your reputation, **princess. **It's so considerate of you to avoid changing into male form all day. I'm sure no one has noticed. It's not like I usually run around trying to find hot water", she responded, voice heavy with sarcasm.

Akane visibly deflated at that. "I won't be able to stand on my legs in male form, Ranma" she half-whined. "The change is... overwhelming" she complained.

Her fiancée snorted. "It's only the first few changes that are like that. That's why I told you to try and stay in male form for some time. How long do you think you'll be able to avoid hot water? The longer you remain in one form, the more the curse tries to attract its trigger. What will you do if you change back in the middle of a battle?" she demanded and Akane sighed.

"It's not only the curse" she replied almost timidly. Ranma thought about it a while, then her eyes went wide.

"You can't handle my senses, that's why you are so touchy!" she exclaimed.

Akane glowered. "I can handle anything you can!" she riposted, although they both knew it was pride talking. Sighing, the Tendo girl wearily massaged her temples. "Every time I get distracted, your senses try to show me where the whole population of Furinkan is. I don't know how to..." she tried. Before she could finish, her hand shot upwards reflexively and something brushed her skin. "What?" she asked dumbly as her body started juggling with Ranma once more. The only thing amiss was the fact that her eyes could see nothing at all.

Ranma was grinning wildly, of course, her hands a blur. "I'm using the visual component of the Umisenken to hide the chi balls, 'Kane. The best way is to keep your senses-technically **my** senses- occupied."

After Akane overcame her initial surprise, mumbling something about Ranma and her host of new techniques, she realized her fiancée was right. Her developing headache had vanished within the first minute, letting the euphoria of Ranma's body to return stronger than ever. "If we keep this up, I won't be falling asleep in the class, tomboy" noted the Saotome heir, causing Akane to frown.

"We can't do that during lesson", she replied, frowning again at Ranma's smirk.

"Oh well. I thought you could handle something like that, but I guess juggling and learning at the same time is beyond you" she murmured, still loud enough to be heard.

Akane's aura lit up at that. "I can handle that easily, thank you very much" she retaliated. "And you are right. I'll have to do some male body training this afternoon. I won't let something like that to beat me!"

_That's my tomboy!_ Thought Ranma, a grin tugging at her lips. "That's only the beginning, you know. In two days we'll have to use the locker rooms before and after P.E."

The sight of Akane while in Ranma's body going white as a sheet then red as the shirt she was wearing was amusing indeed. "You pervert!" she snapped. "If you think I'm going to..."

Ranma casually doubled her juggling speed, forcing Akane to cut her sentence short. "I was going to say we have enough time to figure a way around it, Akane. You don't have to be so uncute about it."

She had to raise a brow when Akane smirked a maniac smirk. "You fell right in. You can't call me uncute because I'm in your body, genius" she exclaimed in triumph, stopping short when Ranma was reduced to chuckles. "What's so funny?" she demanded.

Ranma took some time to sober up. "I never said appearance has anything to do with uncuteness, Akane" she managed, laughing again at her fiancée's blank stare.

"You...you didn't?" she asked unintelligently.

Ranma ignored her. "Move it, tomboy, the break's over", she exclaimed, prompting the chi balls to vanish and sprinting away.

"Hey, come back here, you can't just say that, then run!" she demanded, chasing after her.

- - -

Shampoo and Mousse were sitting on two identical stools, dumbly staring at each other. Or rather, at their original bodies.

"Xian Pu thinks we recreated original" stated the amazon after a while, cringing at the voice that left **his** throat.

Mousse nodded silently, trying hard to keep **her** eyes anywhere but down. The temptation was too much and she had to snap her wayward head upwards at least once every ten seconds. Shampoo had no such qualms, looking at his foreign hand with fascination. He tried to stand up, almost losing his balance in the process and wobbling on rubber legs. "At least Xian Pu learns a bit about Airen's curse. It too too different from animal curse" he observed.

"I'm never going to say Saotome has it easy with his curse again" she replied, yelping at the end of her sentence and bringing a hand to her throat.

A smile appeared on Shampoo's borrowed features. "How long will this last, Mu Tzu?" he asked to verify what he already knew.

"At least another ten minutes" she replied, shaking her head to clear her thoughts. "This is just too weird..."

Shampoo ignored his original body, reaching for the water tap. "Xian Pu always wanted try this" he squealed in a way unbecoming of his current gender.

Mousse blinked as she watched her displaced love changing into duck form. It took him some seconds to fight the dizziness of the change, although he had a lot of experience turning into an animal. As soon as he recovered, he took off through the vent at the top of the basement's wall, quacking in delight and flapping his wings.

The currently purple-haired amazon sighed at the display. Shampoo might have wanted to fly, but Mousse had little interest in turning to a cat. His dismay lasted until she remembered she was inside a female body and, more importantly, alone...

- - -

Akane had once again trouble dealing with her thoughts and emotions, something, she noted, that tended to happen a lot around Ranma. _Did he really mean that? Is it important? Am I making a lot of fuss for nothing? If my alleged 'uncuteness' doesn't have to do with appearance, does that mean he finds me... pretty? Is uncuteness even a word? Why the hell does it bother me that much?_

She had tried to resume that particular conversation with Ranma, but her fiancée would just up their juggling rhythm in retaliation, pretending there was nothing wrong while their hands blurred. They were walking back home when she decided she had had enough. After making sure she batted the balls where Ranma could not catch them, she turned to face her own body squarely and tact be damned.

"Listen to me, Ranma. We are going to have a long talk here, so you'd better cooperate or so help me. Is that clear?" she yelled, cringing inwardly. She did not intent to sound that bold or forceful. After Ranma blinked obliviously, she started losing her bravado. She was almost thankful to whatever entity was playing with her life when Ranma went into 'battle-mode', her head snapping to their side.

"It never fails", she muttered as they both watched a team of giant flying minotaurs assaulting an antique bookstore.

- - -

20-07-07: I really hope that was not too boring. I had to set a period of relative calm before the inbound combatfest, for which both Akane and Ranma will be needing all the training they can get. Special thanks to Mzephyr whose review gave me at least one angle I hadn't yet thought by my own. Until next chapter...


End file.
